Betrayed by friends...

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abdera7man

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Many of us have already been betrayed by their trusted ones..be it friends ,family,classmates,co-workers,ect...And I'm 90% sure that people will experience atleast one betrayal in their lifetime... Life is a bitch ,*she* doesn't spare anyone...:blobhero:

Actually being betrayed isn't that bad,atleast for me, by experiencing betrayal, I started being aware of many things in life..and started viewing life differently, i wouldn't be easily betrayed in the future..by being betrayed before and contemplating about the reasons , I developed an 'fake immunity' toward betrayal...This immunity has become a part of who I am today . And a way of life that can grant me '(healthy' ,near-distant,) A respectable relationshipS... Without being worried about being betrayed by others...

Well, my first time being betrayed was on my early teens year ..i think it was in middle school.. I got betrayed by someone who i started being a best friend with.. We actually hitting very well with each others..we've shared many similarities...we actually couldn't stop talking by running out of thing to do or talk about...
So i was starting trusting him , and i started leaking some of my secret and privacy to him , and he did the same.. Until one day when we started talking about girls and crush and things , he confessed to me that he liked a girl in class , and coincidentally i knew that girl , and i know some 'awkward' things about her .. So when we started talking and we get really open without putting limits in our talking , i started having an idea of Telling him about that awkward thing about that girl , but deep inside me i was unwilling,because that wasn't a part of my personality to talk about others or share their private and awkward things with others..., So i was having a fierce struggle, until we got really into talking And felt that there's nothing we can hide from each other , then i told him that awkward thing about her .... , but he just laughed at it and then we continued speaking about other things...
The next morning when I arrived at class , i saw the girl looking at me weirdly, and by my guilty conscience i felt something was off, so when we have taken a break , that girl come to me and told me why did you told 'X' About that thing....... I was stunned,speechles, I didn't know what to say , i was totally lost , i kept thinking why did he tell her , why did he betray me , what benefits would he get by telling on me.......
I think i spent that whole day thinking about the reason 'why' i got betrayed... What killed me the most , is that when i told my friend why did you tell her that, he just laughed at it and told me it's normal , there's nothing bad about it.... When i heard that i had taked a deep breath and i have known that I misunderstood this guy , he wasn't worth me getting mad over..., for just hitting some 'point' with the girl he has betrayed me.. Well , he actually got just the opposite from her, And he even added some details and fantasy to the thing i told him and made a new story...
So after much thinking and observing , I come to a conclusion, wich is I shouldn't blame him for sharing that secret , the one who should be blamed is me, FIRST for talking behind that girl back, and telling about others privacy,and SECOND , for Making an unwise decision and Trusting the wrong guy...
So after that I started being very carful of what i say, i will NEVER,EVER, talk about other people privacy or talk behind their back , i will never ever talk about something about others to someone while I'm not wanting them to hear it, if i talked about someone behind their back, i will just say something that I'm not afraid the opposite party will know , in case of being betrayed, things won't get awkward and I won't get hurt emotionally...And most of the time if i want to talk about other people secret i will go find the 'victim' and told him about it like ' hey, i told 'Y' about that thing about you.....' So i could avoid awkward situations...
So after that i never get betrayed With A way that could hurt me emotionaly, if i get betrayed i will have already expected it so I wouldn't have a big reaction,and it will just make me reevaluate that person...

The second time i got betrayed was many years after the first betrayal ... Even with all those experience I got from the first betrayal and The observation i made afterward, i still misjudged people , but that was a good experience it has melded the holes that was missing in my first experience and got my way of handling these situations more carefully and Wisely...

The second bertrayal also come from a best friend, we were three best friend, we will hang out together all the time , we make some crazy plane, we travel together..we are an example of a perfect best friends...
So one day when we were traveling together, and in the way.. those my two b friends got in an argument, and Stoped talking , and started ignoring each other, they didn't even look into each other the whole time...

So when we separated for A short while from each other , one of them come to me and started complaining about the other guy, and how bad he's behaving and bla bla bla... And being the good friend who i was , i started comforting him , and told him some bad things that the other friend had done to me and how i tolerate him , and it's okay we are all friends we shouldn't get worked up with somthing trival and how we have done many things together and bla bla bla....... And he started listening and i felt him getting better... But after half day i saw my two 'dear' friends walking together and laughing , like they have never been into A fight.. When they got near me ... My other friend started loking at me coldly , and told me , you have told 'Z' all those bad things about me , and you started talking behind my back and stuff....., my friends has actually made up with him by telling the things i told him about the other guy...
So ,That moment i was like i was hit with a thunderbolt:blobfearful:, my emotion were being out of control , that was a huge shock , i thought to my self how i had been careful all those years to no get betrayed by others and now that i have put my trust into someone again he betrayed me right away..!!. I felt how life is a bitch, the more you're carful about something, the more 'she' will hit you with it..:sweating_profusely:

After this experience e if any of my friends get into an argument or a fight i will never try to confront them, i will just gladly listen and not make any comment, and if i talk i will just blame him 'the one talking' for behaving like that and how they should reconcille with each other... ....it's kinda hypocrite, and I'm uncomfortable doing it , but i have to do it to be safe than sorry....... . I now will never talk about others behind their back with something that may hurt them or hurt my relationship with them ... I will just kindly listen to them if they want to tell me their secret but i will never tell them mine, except something that I m not ashamed to share with other , even if it got known by other it will not have a big influence on me.... And i will never ever and i have never ever told someone about a secret that someone has told me.. I know many secret that my friends told me, and if told on them I'm 100% sure it will ruin their life., but may character won't allow me to do it , even if that friend has wronged me, and told my secret to others i will never leak what he told me, I can't bring myself to do it... If i do it i will feel bad more than the one who will get his secret leaked...sigh I'm such a honest person :cookie::blobpeek: :blobpats:

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Comments

    1. Silver Snake Nov 7, 2018
      Are you really friends if there's betraying going on?
    2. abdera7man Sep 25, 2017
      @Shizukani .... Mhm... I agree with what u have said ...but with all those experiences that i had before , i had never thought of never trusting someone...i know there will be people who i could trust or i hope so.... But the key point is i should always be careful of what i say and carefull to whom i can trust....

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me x:)
      brasca123 and Shizukani like this.
    3. Shizukani Sep 25, 2017
      *pats @abdera7man* This blog is really really relatable. It's kinda how I live my life now. Honestly I'm bothered how I am being this way too, so even if I'm sorry that these things happened to you, I'm kinda relieved that I'm not the only one haha sorry. Well anyway, I understand how you feel (I mean not totally but you get it), and I understand that there will always be a want to trust other people wholeheartedly, no matter how scary it is. That's why, even if I know the consequences when you put your trust on people like that, recently, I started uhh forcing myself to trust them? (Of course not about talking about other people hahaha I avoid that, thought I slip sometimes >.>) It's kinda like a shock therapy hahahaha well it's also because even when inside my head all the possible bad scenarios is playing even before I take that big step, well, some people I met, I just feel like they deserve to be trusted. So I at least try. But if you ask me, do I trust them whole heartedly? Well, actually no. I do think it's rude to them, but I just can't reach that point yet. I kinda just take a gamble haha. I think of all the bad scenarios that may happen when I trust them, weigh it out, and trust them anyway. If they betray me, well that's my fault. I'll just accept that hahahahah. So there. Shock therapy xD. Well so yeah, I understand if you think it's way better to just not trust anyone at all, but I've been there, and it's just... lonely isn't it? I mean can't you give the possibility of your trust being rewarded a chance? Of course there's a really really big chance that it won't haha well as you said life just hits you that way ^^; but I hope that you meet someone that can make you trust again like how you did before, which will overwrite all your doubts and make you think that trusting that person is worth it. ^^

      (ps:I apologize for the long comment~ I just wanted to show my appreciation to your blog xD)
      abdera7man likes this.
    4. abdera7man Sep 3, 2017
      @Willheim , pretty good you had that 'intuition' ... :)
      Willheim likes this.
    5. Willheim Sep 3, 2017
      I think i was betrayed a few times but the shock was pretty small cuz the info i shared was not so deep cause i never share anything deep with anyone (thid was before moving away), not even as a kid, i always had this feeling with people about emotions, their profiles and trust but then one time i was going trough thid fragil time of my teen years where we move away from a city to a small town but i just was feeling always caged and paranoic about the people there, so i just didint listent to it and i made friends with some twins and told them something emotional about myself... Next day people where looking me weird in school and sometimes there was people laughing at me.. so that sandly wake me up and just tarted to trust my instincts and ever since then it never happend anymore
      abdera7man likes this.
    6. abdera7man Sep 1, 2017
      @SakuraHana this is the best thing I've read these days..your analyse has hit the nail on the head... Your expersion(People don't betray others, they choose to abandon the relationship to gain something they think that is better.) has opened my mind..and I couldn't agree With u more : ) ... . Thanks for passing by:)
      SakuraHana and brasca123 like this.
    7. SoShy Sep 1, 2017
      People and their emotions are mysterious. You can never predict anyone, we don't fully know anyone, not even ourselves. But we still know more than we are aware at the same time.

      Let me give you a certain example of how things got way worse from a tiny dispute.

      Brother A and brother B were close as bestest of best friends, more than mere brothers. They were both from a pretty big family who was slightly poor at the time and Brother A was the eldest while B was the youngest. A helped B with everything, from buying his clothes to school supplies. A helped B gain a standing in life and chose a better path for him, a career. After they both got married and made families, they lost contact with each other for sometime. But because B got into a marriage that wasn't well-seen or suited by the society at the time, he once again needed A's help. While A's wife was bit reluctant at first, they still helped B and his wife through their hardships. Everything turned for the better for sometime. B started some business and lured A into investing his all-life savings to that point, into that business because he trusted his brother that much. And the business failed, A lost all his money. But B could gain back his money including some profits which, originally included A's money. A fell into depression losing all his savings. Their family had an inheritance mental disease that develops with old age. Suddenly A's time accelerated and he started showing symptoms of the disease. A's wife got scared felt desperate and went begging for help from B and his wife. They casually turned A's wife away saying that those were their family issues and they should solve it on their own. A lost his job, his house, while he still had two kids who were still attending to school. While B's luck suddenly got good. He got a great new job and found a lot of money to build a extravagant new house. He was doing really well-off. While the relationship between two families got more and more broken.

      A had a lackey-like person who was always with him when he was doing well-off. He switched to the other brother after the fall of A. Since B wouldn't trust him enough, to get on his good side, lackey used A and A's wife. Distorting the truth and words that slipped out of mouths in a twisted way lackey somehow managed to get B's family interested. And this little friction gave birth to a wild fire. A's family was battered with false accusations, twisted lies and they were left all alone. Even after they lost everything, even after he lost his mind, A never said a single word against B.

      Now tell me is it the fault of that little lackey for making a friction between brothers that evolved into hate? Or is it the fault of that little brother who merely wanted a good reason to leave his already useless older brother behind, being afraid that his brother would be an extra baggage for him to carry.

      We know of people more than we're aware. People don't betray others, they choose to abandon the relationship to gain something they think that is better. I don't mean to sound rude but as an outsider, from my perspective of things, I just think to those friends of yours, you weren't that something or someone better.
      My advice: Forget about those people and leave them behind. Be that something/one better for a new person. And keep being yourself.
      brasca123 and abdera7man like this.
    8. AliceShiki Aug 31, 2017
      *nod nod* I don't think it's bad to protect ourselves either, I just personally can't do it.

      We need to live life in the way that is more comfortable for us, and that we can enjoy more... And by also trying to not harm others in the process, at least in my view.

      As long as we do that, it's all good for us to lead it the way we consider the best! \(^^)/
      abdera7man likes this.
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