Something clicked when I was watching boruto anime a little while ago. The hand signs! It's pretty weird but... I kind of wanted to try doing those once but it's.. well it was too embarrassing for me to try and I usually get paranoid when I'm doing things I'm not supposed to do thinking someone maybe secretly watching me the whole time or laughing at me and such.
So, I tried the most common thing to do next, I googled it!
And there it was... naruto hand sign tutorials.. video demonstrations.. high school boys and old men doing anime otaku stuff on youtube without being ashamed in the least...
NO FREAKING WAY!!!! WHY? I MEAN HOW??? HOW ARE THEY ABLE TO DO THAT SO NONCHALANTLY???!! LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL! What if their friends or co-workers or relatives or even some freaking acquaintance or the guy next door saw that video? Won't they make fun of him? Won't it be a suicidal for his social life? How can he do that so shamelessly?? WHY? HOW? AHHHHH! Even if they aren't ashamed I AM! WHY THE HELL AM I FEELING SO ASHAMED FOR SOME GUY I DON'T EVEN KNOW!! DAMMIT!
And there I was, banging my head on desk the whole time the video played past. Now I'm feeling so hopeless at myself and I don't even know why. ugh.
But you know, there's not that many otaku's in my area (I mean the country I live at). My buddies don't even know what anime is. So the only otakus I know in real life are my brother and myself. And weird enough the only thing I talk with my bro is either everyday trivial things or anime/magna/novel stuff. He doesn't like reading manga so I always explain everything that happened in our fav mangas for hours straight. And my mom hates it when we do that (I personally think she's just jealous of us but meh!).
I sometimes get this weird feeling and try swinging my hand trying not to look suspicious but nothing ever happens.. proving to me that my usual chunnibyou only got worse since yesterday. I feel so sorry for myself sigh. But! Never have I tried something so socially suicidal like making freaking naruto hand sign demo and putting it on social media! Bangs my head on the table
Well, that's it for my rant. Bye.
Ordianry rant on usual stuff.
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SoShy
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