lavender_drop
Joined:
Jun 21, 2016
Messages:
231
Likes Received:
3,591
Trophy Points:
207
Money:
$122
Reading List:
Link
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
March 22
Location:
MY GOD'S HEART
Occupation:
I live with the consequences.

lavender_drop

『Mrs. Almighty』『His』『Belong to Zu』, Female, from MY GOD'S HEART

CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT ~ Feb 25, 2017 at 1:23 PM

    1. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT ~
      1. Redo and Accidentally like this.
      2. Accidentally
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:25 PM
      3. Ria_AlDub16
        Ria_AlDub16
        Bu-dum bu-dum?
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:25 PM
      4. Redo
        Redo
        Tired of feeling never enough?
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:45 PM
    2. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      Why is it that I think slaughtering the enemy is always the solution...?? (It is though, isn't it?)
      1. Accidentally likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        Aww ~ Ofc I'll be careful ~
        Feb 25, 2017 at 12:51 PM
        Accidentally likes this.
      4. Ria_AlDub16
        Ria_AlDub16
        It is the best way of retaliating if your enemy humiliates you or hurts you. Hohoho. Kill him while laughing like a lunatic!
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:24 PM
      5. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:25 PM
    3. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      Am waiting for an opportunity to come out.... Timing is everything ~
      1. Accidentally and Ria_AlDub16 like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        shhhhh ~ Don't go against the truth ~
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:01 PM
      4. Anon Ymous
        Anon Ymous
        i am not? i only wrote PUHAHAHAHA ^
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:04 PM
      5. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        =-= good.
        Feb 25, 2017 at 1:22 PM
    4. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      Can a person who isn't be around a lot be allowed to worry all the same ?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. CDLevit
        CDLevit
        ??? your question, Lavender_drop?
        Feb 23, 2017 at 7:10 PM
      3. Slaynbr
        Slaynbr
        I live 700km from my hometown and see my high school friends once every 2 years, but when something happens to them I worry the same.
        Feb 25, 2017 at 9:57 AM
      4. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        I try and not see ppl I was with in HS...
        Feb 25, 2017 at 9:58 AM
    5. Accidentally
      Accidentally
      *sleep* Zzz
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        *happy*
        Feb 23, 2017 at 11:58 AM
      3. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        *smiles*
        Feb 23, 2017 at 11:59 AM
      4. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        *rubs head*
        Feb 23, 2017 at 12:01 PM
    6. Lady Luck
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Lady Luck
        Lady Luck
        ayeee~
        Feb 21, 2017 at 3:33 AM
      3. Lady Luck
        Lady Luck
        got a backlog of avatars of cc tho~ so many good pics~
        Feb 21, 2017 at 3:33 AM
        CDLevit likes this.
      4. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        I love it ~~
        Feb 21, 2017 at 1:13 PM
        Lady Luck likes this.
    7. ReadOrDie
      ReadOrDie
      Hm... Is Accidentally Your personal creepy stalker?...>_>
      1. View previous comments...
      2. lavender_drop
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:31 PM
      3. Accidentally
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:31 PM
      4. Biasedjudge
        Biasedjudge
        jesus christ, i thought acid was talking to himself. Could you maybe optimize your profiles to make it easier to keep it separated pretty pleeease.
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:41 PM
    8. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      Why do people with a MBA construct reports like this ?? huhuhuhu.
      1. Ria_AlDub16 and Accidentally like this.
    9. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      I promised myself that I won't buy books from this Book Fair but then I went and bought so much stationary.
      1. Ria_AlDub16 and Accidentally like this.
      2. Ria_AlDub16
        Ria_AlDub16
        Ify T-T
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:22 PM
        lavender_drop likes this.
    10. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      Ah. That part of work that ends with you working on two laptops.....
      1. Ria_AlDub16 and Accidentally like this.
    11. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      that moment when you impulse buy so hard & then realize they probably will not be used anytime soon....
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Ria_AlDub16
        Ria_AlDub16
        Oh? Then I should learn pickpocketing too since I'm a bad girl |ʘ‿ʘ)╯
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:20 PM
      3. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        pickpocketing is fuuuun ~
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:24 PM
      4. CDLevit
        CDLevit
        That explains some things.
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:42 PM
    12. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      A breast reduction surgery seems like a good idea right now ~
      1. Shizukani and Ria_AlDub16 like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. CDLevit
        CDLevit
        ...inuendo, huh.
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:02 PM
      4. Ria_AlDub16
        Ria_AlDub16
        I'll just prepare my whips, bats and scissors (つ≧▽≦)つ
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:04 PM
      5. Frozen ink
        Frozen ink
        nah I like drivin desu~
        poor bats desu~
        Feb 20, 2017 at 2:05 PM
    13. Accidentally
      1. lavender_drop likes this.
      2. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        I am afraid of the darkness, so i stand on the edge. That was long ago.

        I cried, struggling with all the problem and lost. That was long ago.

        All the time i always tattered and crumbled, cracking down. I was.

        Cupping my hand and pray asking "when this would end?" Over and over and over again.
        Feb 18, 2017
        lavender_drop likes this.
      3. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        Looking back... i would gladly experience all of that all over again. I would.


        Trivial meeting. Fake happiness. Sadness and loss.

        Seems not that bad at all. Seems easy to pass, because i know what waiting ahead.

        Unexpected meeting became something desired.

        I would write all the thing happened in a book and show it when meet and slowly continue it together.
        Feb 18, 2017
        lavender_drop likes this.
      4. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        Time please move faster so the meet happen and please slowed down when meet. I beg you.

        Thousand years in second. Thousand years in blink. Thousand years together. Another thousand years together. Thousand years with you.
        Feb 18, 2017
        lavender_drop likes this.
    14. Accidentally
      Accidentally
      *glomps*
      1. Expired Food and kenar like this.
      2. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        ^/////^
        Feb 18, 2017
    15. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      "What was done to me, created me."
      1. Notaborax and Tramsloof like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        What i choose show who i am.
        Feb 16, 2017
        CDLevit likes this.
      4. Notaborax
        Notaborax
        *some philosophical saying*
        Feb 16, 2017
        lavender_drop likes this.
      5. CDLevit
        CDLevit
        Does time moves?
        Feb 16, 2017
    16. Katsono
      Katsono
      Does your hubby often sing for you~?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        Because, though it is tiring and a bitch, I love what I do and how I do it. I like being able to solve problems and find solutions and integrate systems and make money.
        Feb 17, 2017
        Accidentally likes this.
      3. Katsono
        Katsono
        You're doing that by choice? You must really love it to work twenty hours a day…
        Feb 17, 2017
        Accidentally likes this.
      4. CDLevit
        CDLevit
        ...sometimes, you need to let go of the things that brings you pleasure. We aren't robots. But, in the end, it's up to you!
        Feb 17, 2017
    17. Accidentally
      Accidentally
      *sit on sofa*
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        Hm? *chew*
        Feb 16, 2017
      3. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        >//////>
        Feb 16, 2017
      4. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        *suck*
        Feb 16, 2017
    18. briose
      briose
      Happy Choco Day~
      1. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        Happy Lover's Daaaay ~~
        Feb 14, 2017
    19. jennel-chan
      jennel-chan
      Thank you ^^ I noticed that your back hurts.. *gives you patch* Too poor to buy you the chair. xD Hello ~
      1. View previous comments...
      2. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        YurioxOtabek ~
        Feb 14, 2017
      3. jennel-chan
        jennel-chan
        YurioxOtabek all the way xD *waiting for my chocolate from Otabek*
        Feb 14, 2017
        lavender_drop likes this.
      4. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        At that point in my life where he is no. 1
        Feb 14, 2017
        jennel-chan likes this.
    20. lavender_drop
      lavender_drop
      #CELIBACY ~
      1. jennel-chan likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        ^///////^
        Feb 14, 2017
      4. Accidentally
        Accidentally
        ^///^
        Feb 14, 2017
      5. lavender_drop
        lavender_drop
        >//////<
        Feb 14, 2017
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  • About

    Gender:
    Female
    Birthday:
    March 22
    Location:
    MY GOD'S HEART
    Occupation:
    I live with the consequences.
    " I was blessed to have known your gentle hands
    Extremely fortunate for your sweet words
    I am blessed to have known you
    I am grateful to have loved you.
    "

    ~out of habit ~

    Signature

    If I had a house of my own it would smell like lavender
    There'd be a soft undertone of chamomile
    And it'd always sound of jazz
    Armstrong and Chet Baker
    A little Coltrane and Kenny G on his sax
    It'd be filled with books and paper
    It'd be filled with ideas and hope
    It'd be a place where failure just means renewal
    And all possibilities are welcome
    I think it's hard to imagine the things that I wish it would be without drawing you a picture
    So, I'll tell you everything it isn't
    It isn't alive with the sound of anger nor the sound of despondency
    It isn't writhing in silent agony
    It isn't dead with regret
    There are no broken plates on the floor
    No broken vases
    No thrown flowers
    My house may be of paper and ink but it will be my home
    My house shelters me from the billowing wails of my own fear
    Not enough, it cries from outside my doors
    Not enough
    You are not enough
    You are not worthy
    Failure
    Failure
    Failure
    Useless
    Useless
    My house will block out the noise
    My house will be firm and stand tall
    It may not completely block out the rain but it will be warm
    It will be safe
    It will be home
    Some may ask where I plan to build it
    I have the blueprint right here
    In every crevice of my bone and every hollow of my flesh
    It is in the places I cannot fill that you will be there
    You whose bones will build the structure of my house
    It is your voice that will be the door
    It is your hands that will be the warmth
    I am often asked why I love bones
    Fingers and joints
    It is not the gore nor the death that attracts me
    It is not the reek of what has come to pass but the possibilities at every fingertip
    I am hoping one day to find the flesh to build my house
    I am hoping to find a heart that belongs to me alone
    One to shelter me and hold me safe,
    Someone whose hands I can hold in pride and every day someone to whom I'd say," I'm home."

    Tell me the name of your demons
    And I will tell you the name of your love
    Give to me your darkness and all that you have
    I can give you hope
    It is hope that I have amassed inside me
    It is the hope I have kept dear
    It is the hope countless others have given me
    Without the hope they left, I would never be alive
    I have buried it inside my heart too deep
    Your name
    Your intonation
    Your words
    My hope is to one day give it all back to you
    Hundredfold

    You can count on me to wage war against a tyrant
    My hands that hold the gun will not shake
    My eyes will not blink
    Until he is dead
    You can count on me to exorcise demons
    My heart will not flinch
    My mouth will not close
    Until he goes back to hell
    You can count on me to face your enemies
    Mine is the blade that will plunge their hearts
    I am your hero
    Me
    Just
    Don't ask me to touch my sadness
    That is the monster I cannot shake
    I cannot hold it
    I cannot believe it
    I am a victim of it
    Trapped
    I have long since stopped struggling
    Everyday it consumed more of me
    I am not proud
    I could ask you to stay
    Be a bit more selfish in my ways
    I could ask you to listen
    Be more gentle in my delivery
    I could
    I won't
    I know it will hurt more when I say go
    I know I will leave scars on your body
    My heart is a knife
    Either way
    I will never burden you by asking you to stay
    So please do visit
    But be clear where the door stands
    Because sometimes, I forget you were even there