Question Help with a paragraph

Discussion in 'Translator's Corner' started by highsky44, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. highsky44

    highsky44 Well-Known Member

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    H! Can someone give to this little paragraph a better understanding?

    最近、付き合い始めた恋人と、デートをした帰り道。十七歳になったばかりのシャーリーは家路を急いでいた。

    From what i tried to translate it means something like this : "Recently, Shirley who just turned 17 began dating her lover and was hurrying back home from her date.
     
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  2. Damyabo

    Damyabo [Butcher]

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    Yes. Because she will be scolded by her parents when she is late :p

    She went out with her lover that she started dating recently.
    Because Shirley was just 17 years old, she was hurrying back home.
     
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  3. Zaart

    Zaart Deer Master Race

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    this is the result of google translate, dunno if it help
    Recently, I went out for a date with my lover I started dating. Shirley who was just 17 years old was in a hurry to the house.
     
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  4. codiro

    codiro Lethargic Pachyderm No. 5

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    Damyabo got most of it. It specifies that the lover is her first love
     
  5. highsky44

    highsky44 Well-Known Member

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    So instead of lover can i also translate it like with her sweetheart or boyfriend?
     
  6. chencking

    chencking [Daolord Grammar Nazi]

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    Shirley was barely 17, yet she just recently got a boyfriend. In fact, she was currently hurrying home after a date.

    There's no mention of first love, parents or scolding. That, or my eyes are worsening. I bet the first though.
     
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  7. chencking

    chencking [Daolord Grammar Nazi]

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    yes
     
  8. Damyabo

    Damyabo [Butcher]

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    sure. 恋人 can be translated as such.
     
  9. highsky44

    highsky44 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you !
     
  10. IlkatSumil

    IlkatSumil 意地悪師

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    These two sentences are very Japanese. The first one has no subject or main verb and sets the time/location (i.e. on the way home from the date). The second introduces the character and what she's doing (i.e. Shirley, hurrying home). But the sentences are both a bit redundant.

    Since you have to give the first sentence a subject and verb, you might as well combine the two sentences or break them up differently instead of trying to reproduce how the info is introduced in Japanese.

    Like: "Shirley, who had only just turned seventeen, was hurrying home from a date with the boyfriend she had recently started seeing."

    Or: "Shirley, who had only just turned seventeen, was hurrying home. She had been on a date with the boyfriend she had recently started seeing."
     
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