Comments on Profile Post by Dragon God

Aici doesn't need to check anyone's novel >.>

Aici is god \o/

For once we may be in agreement.

I still want her to check my novel though.

@Dragon God I have. I don't think your ideas are bad at all, some of them are even quite nice. Your use of language is pretty good too, but honestly, your writing style is very difficult for me to read. Your sentences are quite jarring at times and often too short. Short and sharp sentences have their time and place but I think you use them too much.

I plugged some of your stuff into http://www.hemingwayapp.com/ to see what it said and it also seems to agree. Obviously, hemingwayapp is NEVER a good indicator of what quality people are writing but it seems to agree that many of your sentences are very short and despite you using some decent language, the style is a bit abrupt.

The ideas and language are there but you really need to deliver it a bit better, especially in regards to readability. The sentence structure just makes it more difficult to read than it should be. 'Flow' is a pretty shit/cliche word to use but I think it's what you need.

Okay. I'll work on it. Mind PMing with particular examples you found jarring?

Then again, it could also be just my preferences too. I tend to write long winding lines that are a bit more flowery but that's just what I think.

@Dragon God Honestly, I don't think it's a case of me being able to point out particular examples because quite a lot of it is rather jarring for me. For a quick example I guess, I've tried to read the opening paragraph of Lancelot Amon a couple of times and it just doesn't read very well. The language is nice and the words are nice but it just doesn't read well.

It's hard for me to explain why I guess but that's just how I feel. Maybe try and get some feedback from some other people and see if they feel the same way. If that's the case, maybe there's something you can work on. If not, maybe it's just me. I'm not a professional writer or critic so you shouldn't take what I say too seriously.

I appreciate all feedback, and this is my first real writing experience, so I am fully cognisant that I'll have many flaws to work on. It'll help more if you could be specific, but I'll try to work with what I have.

I don't want to sound too bad but I don't think I can really be more specific because it's all the same. I could point to anywhere. It's just the writing style in general that is awkward for me. I've gone through most of your writing and the language itself is good but the flow is just awkward.

I'll see what I can do.