Short Story a letter from sad person.

[this is the last continuation of first part of the story which is private and ask 3 of them for the full story
(p.s. image in this thread not drawn by me)]
it's 1:40 am in the morning as i start looking in the gloomy sky,
as red my eyes and my vision become blur i start typing this thread,
sometimes i wander why i made this decision and why i feeling more painful here,
i really started think to quit from nuf since last november,
as story i told to yuzuki ,rorozoro,and daruda i am drawing a line between this community in the beginning,
cause i don't want to experience the same tragedy as before,
even so it's to hard and before i know i am already in the edge,
people that i loved is gone again, and i become hated person for some people here,
i really think guess everything over now, i spend last few days joining my last community games while drawing last present for someone that i cared in this forum,
then i stumble in song called "last continue" and i start thinking will it okay for me to stay here?
i tried change to become better,but...
fate show the reality...
the thing that i do always wrong, i'm sorry really really sorry,
the bond that i want to keep already cut away,




i'm a weak person, and i can't handle more than this,
i rather being painful in solitude than broken heart again.
as end of this thread let me tell you one of my habit in internet i always use smiling avatar when i am broken and in despair.

 

Libe ya fool not only body but soul as well

 

Hey, you can start anew, right?

 

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
No one dare
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said “The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence

 

If you want to live through today or just commit suicide is completely up to you, y'know? I mean, sure, other people would try to cheer you up and say that things would get better, but would it really? No one knows, maybe yes, probably no. But all in all, it all boils down to what you want. If you really wanted to jump off a building then no one can really stop you now, can they? But who's to say that it'd be better in death? I, myself, am not brave to take that bet. Are you?


Aaaaaaaaand that was me going way off topic.

Happy holidays~ (assuming you're still alive by then)

 

oh.. sorry parth... so that's why it got deleted..

EDIT. People just have to bear with it and live.. I guess? No person live a life with only good things... it's how you continue to move on as time passes..

 

since i simply have never been to the point where i want to kill or hurt myself i cant say much other then this.

it's either you continue to live and your life will either get better or become worse

OR

everything will end with death and your situation will never get better nor worse.

just remember if you kill yourself due to what other people are saying about you then all you will be doing is giving them the satisfaction of having won against you.

try surrounding yourself with kittens or puppies. maybe that will cheer you up