Novel Gamer Girl - A video game-inspired superhero web serial (Chapter 9)

Gamer Girl is a superhero action comedy web serial following the bizarre adventures of Ralphie Hero, aka Gamer Girl, a costumed vigilante with the superpower to summon the items and abilities of video game player characters. Working alongside her partner Comikazé ‘Kazé’ Maniakku, aka Fangirl, a superhero fanatic with an electric fan gun, Ralphie sets out to make a name for herself in a city already full of crime fighters. Between the monsters, the supervillains, and Ralphie’s mild sociopathic tendencies, it does not go well.

Updates every week on Sunday.

Genres: Superhero, Action, Comedy, Fantasy, Science Fiction.

You can help the web serial grow by voting for it on Top Web Fiction once a week and reviewing it on Royal Road Legends and Web Fiction Guide. You can also add tropes to Gamer Girl‘s TV Tropes page. Please comment and follow (I could seriously use the feedback). Lastly, if you want to keep totally updated on all things Gamer Girl, you can follow the Gamer Girl WordPress site.

Table of Contents:

• Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 1/4
• Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 2/4
• Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 3/4
• Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 4/4
• Gamer Girl #2: Revolution Part 1
• Gamer Girl #2: Revolution Part 2
• Gamer Girl #2: Revolution Part 3
• Gamer Girl #2: Revolution Part 4
• Gamer Girl #2: Revolution Part 5

 

Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 1/4​

'You will become...an A-list superhero!' Ralphie told the skinny little blonde in her bedroom mirror.

She looked dubious.

#​

The bunker exploded in front of the Hero. This was it: the aliens had zapped through all of her cover; now the only thing standing between Earth and extra-terrestrial domination was her and her hover tank. From out of the starless sky, a fresh phalanx of crab monsters, mutant squid, and giant octopi zig-zagged down, bolts of plasma spewing from their mouths. Go time. The Hero propelled her tank sideways, lined up a shot on the nearest xeno, and—

Someone bumped into Ralphie’s shoulder, knocking her back into the real world, back into the crowd of pedestrians shuffling across the high street. It took her half a second to refocus on the Game Boy Colour in her hands, but by that time the aliens had already blasted her hover tank into a cloud of fine particles. Two words typed themselves onto the top of the screen: GAME OVER.

Ralphie looked in all directions for the criminal who had robbed her of a world record-breaking Space Invaders high score, found only chirpy Downtown shoppers and zombie-like office workers, too lost in their own little worlds to care about hers. She took a deep breath, pushed her Game Boy back into the kangaroo pocket of her Legend of Zelda hoodie.

Arcadia’s lightless neon sign came into view over the heads of the crowd. She squeezed her way free of the throng and jogged to the derelict video arcade, where a familiar raven-haired Asian girl in a Captain America jumper stood biting her nails.

Upon seeing her, Kazé snapped her hands behind her back. ‘Hey! Hiya, sweetie! Are you…are you ready?’

Ralphie shook her head, rubbed the dark circles under her eyes. ‘I feel like I’m going to vomit, and piss myself, and shit myself too.’

‘Oh.’ Kazé wrinkled her nose. ‘That’s gross, Ralphie.’

‘Ah, let’s just do this!’

‘Okay!’

They ran around to the arcade’s back door and shut themselves inside. Then, in the semi-darkness, they stripped down to their underwear.

Ralphie summoned her costume. White, edgeless powered armour appeared on her body from out of thin air, covering everything below her head except her joint areas. In the same instant, a pair of rectangular white glasses came into being on her nose, and full size, white, wireless headphones materialised over her head, one backwards-slanting antenna extending out of each earpad. An oversized light green T-shirt then took shape atop the powered armour, the chest displaying her symbol: a curvy, white video game controller with green buttons and analog sticks. Ralphie hit the image with her palm, and layers of solid, neon green light enveloped her joints with a low humming sound, illuminating the nearby arcade cabinets.

Ahead of her, Kazé slipped on her high tech chainmail, her pale flesh caught in the sunshine coming through a broken high window. After zipping the grey catsuit up to her neck, she then overlaid it with pieces of smooth silver armour on her torso, arms, hands, groin, legs, and feet. Finally, she pressed a miniature fan grill onto the hair bun at the crown of her bob cut.

Kazé turned to face her, causing the triple fan blade symbol engraved on the upper left of her breastplate to gleam. ‘Great! We should totally do my intro routine!’

‘No,’ said Ralphie. ‘I’m not embarrassing myself in front of the entire bloody street.’

‘It won’t be embarrassing; it’ll be cool. The Girl Scouts did one for their debut.’

‘I am not a self-confident twenty-something with the body of a supermodel.’

‘Oh, please please please?’ Kazé clasped Ralphie’s arm. ‘I’ve been dreaming about this for years.’

Ralphie ran her fingers through her long, messy hair, sighed. ‘Fine...let’s go make fools of ourselves.’

Kazé hugged her tight.

They shoved their civilian clothes into their backpacks, wedged the bags behind a Pong cabinet, and pushed the front doors open, startling the passer-byes.

‘Watch out, world!’ they said simultaneously, standing back-to-back with their arms crossed. ‘Here comes!’

‘Gamer Girl!’ said Ralphie as she raised her fists.

‘And Fangirl!’ said Kazé with a thumbs-up.

‘And together we are...,’ they said together, pointing forward, ‘the Giga-Geeks!’

Everyone in the street had stopped to watch them. Ralphie felt her throat go dry. A moment of silence passed. Then the people and the cars exhaled and resumed their motion. Nobody gave Ralphie and Kazé a second glance, so they lowered their arms.

‘Well....’ said Kazé. ‘That was....’

‘A bad start to what I’m sure will be a worse day,’ said Ralphie. ‘I think we arrived a few decades too late to impress anybody.’

‘That’s okay. We’ll amaze them with our superheroics!’ Kazé gave another thumbs-up, her big black eyes sparkling. ‘I know a place that’s sure to need our help!’

‘Whatever….’ Ralphie frowned. ‘I look really silly, don’t I? I knew I shouldn’t have made my costume in Second Life.’

‘Nooo, you look incredible! I’m actually surprised a mini dress can work so well on top of power armour.’

Ralphie moaned. The stupid T-shirt was supposed to look like a Link-esque tunic. A bad start to a worse day….

#​

'Anything?' called up Kazé.

'Nothing,' said Ralphie, resting her head in her hands. She had been sitting atop of the traffic light for thirty minutes now. Her bum hurt.

The four-road intersection before her, dubbed the Danger Zone for its uncanny magnetism to hazardous forces, was, as it happened, danger-free. The morning commuters power walked from pavement to pavement, the seagulls squealed overhead, the digital billboards on the Neo-Victorian buildings switched slowly through advertisements for the Museum of Supernatural History…and a super soldier careers fair...and the Super Speed Monorail.

Ralphie yawned. ‘Just my luck.’

Kazé pointed at the intersection. 'Look, Gamer Girl! That old lady needs help crossing the road! Wait, no: she's good.'

‘Tsk. Teasing cow.’

A blur burst out of the manhole at the centre of the intersection. It rose high in the air before coming down with an impact that cracked concrete. The monster was a canine, and slightly larger than the SUV that it took to urinating on. With its pointy ears, lean physique, and thin, curled tail, it resembled a pariah dog, only its fur looked wrong. The yellowish white hair seemed to be clumped into hundreds of spikes running along its body. When people started shrieking, the spikes went erect, and Ralphie realised they weren’t made of hair at all: the monster was coated in fangs. The Canine growled and barked and whirled on everyone.

Having become sluggish in the warmth of the summer sun, Ralphie shook herself awake. Then she summoned the Wooden Sword from Kingdom Hearts. The toy weapon manifested in her palm, and she clenched hold. Just like that, she was in the zone. 'Game on.’

She leapt from the traffic light as those below bolted in the opposite direction. Landing on her feet, she felt her powered armour absorb the fall.

Behind her, Kazé shouted: 'Gamer Girl! What are you doing?!’

'Saving the day!' said Ralphie over her shoulder.

The Canine bounded towards her. She ran to meet it, coming within inches of its toothless mouth—and swung her sword into its head. The blow sent the monster crashing into the SUV with a yelp. Several teeth on its cheek fractured and fell away.

Ralphie gazed at her sword arm, flexed it. 'I'm…strong. Oh man! Being a superhuman is aweso—‘

The Canine tail-whipped her off her feet.

Her energy shields activated upon impact, golden electricity sheathing her body as she flew through the air. A burger stand broke her fall, crumpled against her titanium alloy chassis. The beast was up and pouncing on her before she could shake the lettuce out of her hair.

A whooshing gust of wind threw the monster into a tour bus. Car alarms blared. Kazé appeared and pulled her up; the girl was clutching her electric fan by its pistol-like grip.

'Are you okay?' said Kazé. 'Did I get it? Is it hurt? Oh no, it looks angrier!'

'Relax,' said Ralphie. 'I'm fine. This one's tough, but it’s still just a big dumb dog. We should be able to defeat it if we work together. I’ll draw its aggro with my video game summons while you keep it off-balance with your Megafan, alright?'

'O-Okay. Let's try to keep the fight in the intersection, away from the civilians.'

'The who?'

'The civilians….' Kazé gestured to the surrounding space.

There were screaming men, women, and children stuck in human traffic jams on all four roads leading out of the Danger Zone. Many less optimistic civvies were taking shelter in the local shophouses.

'Oh yeah.’ Ralphie smiled sheepishly. ‘Sure, no problem.'

Kazé made a face.

The Canine let out a piercing howl that ruptured shop windows.

Wincing, Ralphie pressed her headphones to her ears to muffle the sound. ‘What’s it doing?!’

‘It’s calling other monsters!’ said Kazé.

‘To bloody hell with that! Let’s go!’

As they sprinted towards the Canine, Kazé emitted something between a battle cry and a wail.



Video game summons Ralphie uses in this chapter:

Gamer Gear powered armour, headphones, glasses, and T-shirt from Second Life.

The Wooden Sword from Kingdom Hearts.

Energy shields from Halo: Combat Evolved.

 

Sup man, welcome to the forum!

I'll just say this now, but you can't link anything until you get 15 forum posts.
(Any posts in the game section don't count)

 

Thanks for the information. I guess I'll leave the first chapter up and post until I can link the rest.

 

BE welcome!!

As i was reading without paying attention i just read the title "Tearing pants apart" funny no?

And don't forget to link your posts on the table of contents

 

Wow, that's the fastest laugh I've ever got out of Gamer Girl.
Sure thing.

 

Welcome
I will watch the thread to follow this story ^^
You should put your chapters into Spoilers, so it would be easier to navigate in the thread.

 

Thanks for following!
Good idea about spoilers.

 

Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 2/4​

Breaking off its howl, the monster lifted its tail and lashed a car at them. Kazé blew the motor away with her Megafan, but the Canine used the distraction to spring forwards and take a swipe at her with its paw. A translucent sphere appeared around the girl’s figure, and the fang-claws scraped across it, arcing towards Ralphie. She jumped, but not high enough to clear the strike.

So she jumped again, in mid-air.

The Canine’s ears pricked up as it missed her.

Ralphie grinned evilly. ‘Gotcha.’

She stomped on its face Super Mario-style, a white 100 floating up from its head. She hopped off, and Kazé blasted the monster’s front legs from under it. As it fell, it headbutted both of them into a taxi. Raphie’s energy shields triggered alongside Kazé’s force field, cushioning them against the collision. They flailed wildly with sword and Megafan. The animal recoiled from the strokes, but dragged Kazé along the ground with it, her chainmail leggings having become snagged on a tooth on its neck.

‘Shoo!’ said Kazé, shooting the Canine up, into the air.

Ralphie bounced up, drew back a shining fist. ‘Falcon Punch!’ A falcon of fire formed about her swinging hand, and she smashed the falling Canine into an office building.

A cloud of dust soared and settled ahead of them. The monster struggled to stand. Blood trickled down from between the teeth on its back.

Kazé opened fire, pinning the Canine to the wall with a continuous airstream. ‘I’ve got it!’ she said over the whistle of the Megafan. ‘I’m really doing it! Like a real superhero!’

The Canine dug its claws into the tarmac. It dragged itself towards them, fighting against the air current.

Kazé’s face went from pale to white. ‘I take it back! I’m just a big superhero fan! What the heck was I thinking?! Gamer Girl?!’

‘Just hold it riiight there!’ Ralphie brought her hands to her side as if about to throw a ball, visualised her favourite attack from Street Fighter, and thrust her palms at the Canine while shouting, 'Hadouken!'

Nothing happened.

Text pulsed in red on the head-up display of her glasses: REACH LEVEL 2 TO SUMMON HADOUKEN.

‘What is this?!’ said Ralphie. ‘How am I supposed to do that?!’

‘Gamer Girl!’ said Kazé.

‘Never mind.’ Ralphie tried to shoot a Magic Missile from her hand, cast Chain Lightning from her fingertips, hurl a Super Mario Bros. Fireball. The same REACH LEVEL 2 TO SUMMON notification appeared on each attempt. ‘Fuck, I can’t do any projectile attacks! What kind of bum deal superpower is this?!’

‘Huh?!’ Kazé looked at her with wild eyes. ‘Th-Then what are we going to do?!’

‘Doesn’t your Megafan have different firing modes?’

‘I haven’t tried any of them out yet! What if I hurt somebody?!’

‘What?! Didn’t you read the instruction manual?!’

‘It was in Japanese!’

‘You are Japanese!’

‘I’m Japanese-American; the only kanji I know is “Toilet”!’

Ralphie snarled and pulled at her hair. Deciding to debut as superheroes the day after she had gotten her superpower had been a horrible idea. Alas, once Kazé had lucked out and found a gimmick-appropriate costume and weapon package going for a measly $200 on the dark web, they had been too stoked to give any thought to further preparation.

The Canine was within three meters of them now, its beady black eyes oozing bloodlust.

‘Fuck a duck, just try anything!’ said Ralphie, gripping her Wooden Sword in both hands.

Kazé gulped. ‘Oh Buddha. Right, I can do this. It’s just like Golden Boy says: “Half of superheroics is improvisation”!’ She pressed a button on the back panel of her Megafan, pulled the trigger, and was rocketed backwards by the redoubled airstream. The poor girl screamed like a banshee as she flew out of the Danger Zone.

The Canine rose to its full 7-foot height with a rumbling growl, fangs as sharp as daggers standing on end all over its body.

Ralphie felt a single drop of sweat run down her forehead. ‘I’m not scared of you! I completed Battletoads with my feet! You couldn't beat me in a BDSM club, you big Chinese delicacy!’

The creature seized her head in its gummy mouth.

Ralphie yelled and attempted to batter her captor’s eyes, but the monster tackled her and pinioned her to the road with its crushing weight, grinding against her front. Her energy shields kept its jaws an inch away from her face, but drool seeped through the gold electro-field onto her brow. The stink of fish was nauseating. As the Canine’s teeth raked the shielding around her torso, the rectangular power gauge on her head-up display shrank towards exhaustion. Ralphie pushed against the predator with her whole body; the hulking flesh wouldn’t budge. She was too small, too weak.

Her mind raced through video game player character items and abilities, seeking anything that would make her bigger, stronger. The solution hit her like a freight train.

‘You’re dead meat!’ said Ralphie, summoning a pixelated Super Mushroom to her hand. Squashing the orange fungus between her fingers, she absorbed the power-up, growing as large as the monster on top of her in three quick, chiptune-accompanied spurts. She shoved aside its front legs and hammered the hilt of her now jumbo-sized Wooden Sword into its neck. The Canine released her head with a whine and clambered off of her just as her energy shields burst into streaks of wild electricity. Ralphie jumped up, and the two of them circled each other, panting.

Going by the rules of Super Mario Bros., if this mongrel so much as scratches me, I’ll revert to my normal size, she thought. That’s not going to happen!

‘Fetch!’ said Ralphie, pitching her sword at the Canine’s middle.

The monster dodged her projectile, giving her the opening she needed. She unleashed a high-speed barrage of fists into its face, not relenting for a second. Though her punches were amateur, the augmented strength granted by her powered armour in addition to her size made the blows devastating: fangs, blood, spit, and snot flew out of the thing’s head. The teeth ricocheted off of nearby cars.

Ralphie licked her lips.

The Canine turned tail and ran towards the closest herd of civilians.

‘Oh no.’ She gave chase. ‘Bad dog! Take your beating like a man!’

The monster jumped, ducked, sprinted around the empty vehicles scattered about the intersection; the civvies’ screeching intensified. Ralphie vaulted over a tanker truck and fell on her backside. She felt exhausted; 16 years of sloth and Hungry Aztec Nachos had finally caught up with her.

She gasped. ‘Screw this.’

If she couldn’t match the Canine physically, she’d deus ex machina the situation. What she needed was a barrier to keep the monster from the lemmings.

Ralphie conjured a vast yellow Tetris cube in the sky and mentally lowered it onto the crosswalk behind the civilians. The cube occupied only a fifth of the space between the adjacent buildings, so she summoned another random shape, a giant orange sideways L, and set it down to the cube’s left. As the Canine closed in on the civvies, she placed the shapes faster, rotating them as they descended so that they would fit together perfectly, mounting them on top of each other so the brute couldn’t jump over. By the time the monster had reached the crosswalk, her barrier was a 40-foot rainbow-coloured wall with only a meter-wide aperture on the far right. The Canine darted for the breach.

‘Come on, straight line!’ said Ralphie.

And the cyan monolith appeared in the clouds.

Motioning with her arm, she slammed it into the opening. The Canine impacted against the wall, shook itself, and attempted to leap over the barrier. It peaked at around 10 feet.

‘Yes!’ Ralphie punched the air. ‘Take that, every PE teacher I’ve ever had! I do not need physical fitness to succeed in life: I have reality warping superpowers!’

The wall glowed white once, twice, thrice, disappeared. Something went clap in her ears. A sudden shockwave hurled the Canine away and spread outwards, launching all vehicles before it in Ralphie’s general direction.

She froze in terror. ‘Fuck my life.’

Someone to her left shouted, ‘Watch out!’

It was Kazé. The armour-plated Asian was shooting through the Danger Zone in the stance of a crouching surfer: she was firing her Megafan behind her to propel herself along the road! The girl caught Ralphie’s giantess waist in her free arm and shoved her out of the way of a flying motorcycle. Then she shot a howling whirlwind at the sun; it snatched the Canine and the vehicles from the shockwave, spinning them a short ways up before dropping them. Ralphie thrust Kazé to the ground and got on her hands and knees to shield her from the cars and trucks and buses crashing down to Earth. The shockwave slammed against her body, vibrating her very bones; she held firm. Eventually, the sound of rushing wind and crunching metal ceased.

Kazé gradually opened her eyes. ‘Hey.’

‘Yo,’ said Ralphie.

‘I think I worked out what a couple of the Megafan buttons do.’

‘Yeah, I noticed. Good job.’

The girl touched Ralphie’s cheek with her little hand. ‘You’re huge.’

‘Sure am. Absorbed a Super Mushroom. It’s nice being tall for a change.’

‘Are you injured?’

‘No way. Check it out’—Ralphie got up on her knees—‘not a scratch on me.’ A dark shape in the sky caught her eye; she looked up to see what it was, and a bicycle wheel dropped on her head. Amidst the stinging pain, she became small again, flopping onto her partner’s chest. ‘Ouch.’ It was then that her energy shields chose to recharge, the electricity that had been arcing randomly about her powered armour converging as a shining golden aura around her body before fading away with an electronic hum.

Kazé fingered a bandage from beneath her breastplate, lifted Ralphie’s headphones, and laid it on the crown of her head.

Ralphie managed a muffled, ‘Thank you.’

They picked each other up, stabilised one another. The Danger Zone was riddled with pieces of transport. The civilians outside of it were sprawled on the streets, groaning. Apart from a few cuts and bruises, they appeared to be alright.

‘Sorry!’ Kazé told the civvies with a strained smile. ‘It’s our first day!’

‘What happened?’ said Ralphie as she looked around the warzone for the Canine. ‘I don’t remember any shockwaves in Tetris.’

Kazé sighed. ‘I don’t know. Your game items seem to just appear in our universe. I guess they force the air out of the spaces where they’re summoned. If something big like your wall vanishes, maybe all the air rushing back into the space creates a seismic wave.’

‘No more big summons. Big summons make big boom-booms. Got it.’

Kazé fell to her knees. ‘Oh Buddha. Look at this mess. We’ve destroyed the intersection, we’ve wounded the civilians, and we’ve lost the monster. We’re the worst.’ The girl lowered her head, letting her hair fall over her face.

‘Ah, the Danger Zone gets destroyed every week,’ said Ralphie, ‘and the civvies should be used to superfights by now. I’m sure the Canine will pop up someplace inconvenient soon: that’s what monsters do.’

A chorus of alien growls echoed from the manhole-turned-pit in the middle of the intersection.

Ralphie tugged at the neck of her T-shirt. ‘Sounds like the Canine’s friends heard its cry for help. Bloody hell. With that much noise, there could be a whole pack of them down there.’

A twisted box truck ascended in front of them: the Canine hauled itself from under the vehicle and began limping slowly towards the pit.

‘And there’s the monster of the week itself.’ Ralphie bit her lip. ‘This is bad. Maybe…maybe we should let the police or a more experienced superhero handle things from here. I’m sure someone qualified for this will come along soon….’

‘No,’ said Kazé.

‘What?’

Her partner straightened herself up and brushed her locks away from her hard, watery eyes. ‘We may suck at superheroics, but we’re the only protection these people have right now. Happy Place is our borough: we can’t leave it defenceless by just waiting around for someone better to arrive.’

Ralphie glanced at the frightened faces in the upper story windows all around them, at the civilians in the streets as they tripped over each other to get away. She scratched her head. ‘I guess you’re right. But what can we do?’

‘I have a plan to scare off the monsters in the sewer,’ said Kazé. ‘We’ll need to defeat the Canine first though.’

‘Shit. Well, if we’re going to die young, we might as well do it in style.’ Ralphie summoned her World of Warcraft mount, a great Charger warhorse dressed in gold plate armour and a dark blue cloth cover. The steed snorted at her.

Kazé’s eyes darted back and forth between Ralphie and the Charger. ‘Do you know how to ride this thing?’

‘No,’ said Ralphie as she climbed onto the saddle, ‘but my level 60 paladin does, so I should be fine.’ She held out her hand to Kazé. ‘Ready when you are, Fangirl.’

After a moment, Kazé took hold, pulled herself up, and sat behind her, clinging to her waist with a single arm. The girl rested her chin on Ralphie’s shoulder. ‘I’m going to say our catchphrase to set us off, okay?’

Ralphie grasped the reins in one hand whilst invoking a new Wooden Sword to the other. ‘We have a catchphrase?’

‘We sure do. I made one up yesterday.’

‘Go for it.’

Kazé aimed her Megafan at the Canine. ‘Giga-Geeks…MARMALISE!’

Ralphie squeezed the Charger with her legs, and it hurtled them at the monster. The Canine jerked its head around. Seeing the warhorse, it lowered itself and whimpered. When the steed neighed, however, the dog seemed to recover its courage. It advanced, leaping from side to side on its three good legs, barking madly, and then lunged at them. Kazé shot a wave of air that twirled the mass of teeth in mid-flight, allowing the Charger to ram its stomach with a spiked helmet. As the monster tumbled past them, it lashed out blindly. Ralphie ducked the claws, then cracked the Canine across the head with all the strength she had. It hit the road, and was still.

‘Fuck yeah!’ said Ralphie. ‘Now we’re playing with power!’

‘Excelsior!’ said Kazé.

A clump of blonde hair rolled off Ralphie’s head. She noticed the electricity snaking about her, and realised that the Canine had actually split her energy shields, missing her noggin by a literal hair’s breadth. She swallowed her terror with an audible gulp.


Video game summons Ralphie uses/mentions in this chapter:

Double Jump from Team Fortress 2 (The Scout).

Stomp from Super Mario Bros..

Falcon Punch from Super Smash Bros. (Captain Falcon).

Hadouken from Street Fighter (Ryu).

Magic Missile from Dungeons & Dragons: Shadow Over Mystara (Magic User).

Chain Lightning from World of Warcraft.

Fireball from Super Mario Bros..

Super Mushroom from Super Mario Bros..

Tetromino from Tetris.

Charger from World of Warcraft.

 

Welcome
Did you write this ?
Taht look fun, i will follow this for the moment .

 

Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 3/4​

The Charger galloped on to the pit. The bestial noises coming out of the darkness were louder than ever.

Ralphie pulled the reins, bringing the warhorse to a stop. ‘Your move, Fangirl. How are we supposed to scare the nasties away?’

Her partner dismounted. ‘Monsters have a moderate sensitivity to high-pitched sounds. According to the pictures on the buttons, my Megafan doubles as a kind of air-based megaphone. If you can summon a shrill noise, I can blast it into the manhole; the racket will be unbearable for them down in an enclosed space like that.’

‘Wow. That’s really smart.’

Kazé grinned. ‘I spend most nights writing superhero fan fiction: I’ve gotten used to thinking up crazy solutions to crazy problems.’

Ralphie patted the Charger’s neck. ‘Time to go, mate; you’re not going to want to hear this.’

The steed sighed.

Ralphie unsummoned the warhorse beneath her and fell into a standing position. Tossing aside her sword, she then willed a guitar-shaped video game controller into her arms. A line of provocative album covers bobbed up on her head-up display; she found she could scroll through the selection by moving her eyes. As she did so, the related rock music played in her headphones…. ‘Uh oh.’

‘”Uh oh”?’ said Kazé. ‘What’s “Uh oh”?’

‘All of the songs on my Guitar Hero account are too low pitched! “Iron Man”, “Godzilla”, “Cowboys from Hell”: it’s all worthless!’

‘Do you have any glam rock?’

‘Fuck no!’

Clangs sounded from the hollow at their feet. Ralphie felt her heart trying to break out of her ribcage: the monsters were climbing the manhole ladder!

Kazé thumbed a button on her Megafan; its fan blades whirred to life. ‘Any shrill noise will do!’

‘I know!’ said Ralphie. ‘I’m trying to think! Maybe another music game…. How is Lego Rock Band on Level 2?!’

A pair of red eyes flashed within the black hole.

‘I’m really not picky!’ said Kazé.

Ralphie beat her head with her fists. ‘I can’t think of anything! Stupid, stupid, stupid!’

The eyes flew at them. Sunlight revealed a ginormous rotting baby face. Ralphie and Kazé shrieked, and the Megafan amplified the noise into a blast of soprano. The corpse baby cried, clasped its ears. Ralphie brought her guitar down on its face with a thwack. The monster lost its footing and plunged into the obscure shapes beneath it, all plummeting into the gloom. Other-worldly yowls preceded a meaty splat. Then there was more baying and rapid footfall, soon waning into inaudibility against the screak of the fan.

Ralphie and Kazé ran out of breath. The Megafan’s soprano concluded. Ralphie summoned 100 giant wooden Half-Life crates on top of the pit.

Both of them breathed deep.

‘High-pitched yelling works too, I guess,’ said Kazé, laughing nervously. The girl slid her fan into the holster at the small of her back with a trembling hand.

‘Yep,’ said Ralphie. ‘That was my ploy all along.’ She threw away her toy guitar. ‘Let’s deal with the Canine before I have a well-deserved heart attack.’

They trudged to the last of the monsters. The devil was lying on its side gasping. Most of its teeth had broken or broken off, exposing patches of mangled pink flesh.

Kazé covered her mouth with her fingers. 'I didn’t realise we’d hurt it that badly. Poor thing.’

'”Poor thing”?’ Ralphie crossed her arms. ‘What about poor Gamer Girl? This mutt tried to eat me...or mate with me, I'm not sure. The point is it was traumatising, and the Canine is too dangerous to live.' She summoned the SOCOM pistol from Metal Gear Solid and pointed the suppressor at a spot of bare skin on the monster’s scalp.

Kazé’s eyes widened. 'What on Earth are you doing?'

'What? It's probably going to be put down by the Zoo anyway. I might as well put it out of its misery now.... What?'

Kazé had an expression Ralphie had never seen on her before: her eyebrows were furrowed, her mouth was small, and there was no light in her eyes. 'Superheroes do not kill.'

Ralphie tilted her head. 'But it's a monster.'

'That doesn't matter. Superheroes do not kill. Get rid of that gun.'

'Fine, fine.' Ralphie made the SOCOM disappear.

Kazé exhaled, the intensity fading from her face. 'Thank you. I don't want to see you summon anything like that again, okay? That's not what being a superhero is about.'

'Okay,' said Ralphie, rubbing the back of her head. 'But the Canine still needs to be restrained somehow.... Hmm, I have an idea.'

Ralphie magicked up a pixelated Minecraft pickaxe and began tapping the pavement with it. A paving slab fragmented and then stopped existing, leaving a 2-foot deep, cube-shaped hole and a small, grey, revolving cube within it. She stepped into the hole and absorbed the cube. She kept destroying the sidewalk and collecting its resources in this way until the number to the lower right of the concrete icon on her head-up display changed to 52. Then she approached the Canine. One by one, Ralphie summoned 12 cubes in a square formation around the monster, the blocks popping into reality as big as the holes she'd made. Building on top of her square, she used 36 more cubes to wall the critter in, then clambered onto the structure and made a roof with the remaining four.

Ralphie swept her hand downwards. ‘Ta-da.’

Kazé stroked her chin. ‘Could you install a window so the thing can breathe?’

She pickaxed away a single cube, redid her sweeping gesture. ‘Ta-da.’ Her partner clapped. Beaming, Ralphie bowed, dematerialised her tool, and dropped down from the concrete cell. ‘It isn't pretty, but it should hold it. Game over.'

Kazé took her by the hands and jumped up and down. 'Yay! We won!'

'Really, Fangirl. We should be trying to act cool here.'

'I'm too happy to be cool! Yay!'

After a second, Ralphie started jumping too. They laughed.

‘You were so brave!’ said Kazé. ‘I’ve never seen you like that before! What the heck happened to the girl too shy to put her hand up in Psychology class?’

‘I’m not sure,’ said Ralphie. ‘As soon as I saw the Canine, all that angst...just went away. I felt like I was playing a video game—still do.’

Voices in the distance.

Hundreds of civilians were hesitantly setting foot outside their shelters all over the intersection, including a mob of super lifestylers from the solid gold Superhuman Solutions office block. Ralphie cast a lustful eye over the brightly outfitted men and women. As a superhero, she stood a fair chance of netting a few groupies from the super lifestyler subculture. The people were so enamoured with her kind that they themselves made use of costumes and aliases in their everyday lives just to experience a small piece of the superhero lifestyle. Even a social inept like her could get some nooky from fanatics like that.

'Come on, Fangirl,' said Ralphie. 'Let’s go bask in the limelight.'

Kazé squeezed her hands. ‘Sure.’


Video game summons Ralphie uses in this chapter:

Guitar Controller from Guitar Hero.

Songs from Guitar Hero.

Crate from Half-Life.

SOCOM from Metal Gear Solid.

Iron Pickaxe from Minecraft.

 

I sure did. Thank you for following. You guys reply FAST.

 

Gamer Girl #1: Teething Pains Part 4/4​

They trotted to where a swarm of civvies was amassing outside of a Hungry Aztec restaurant shaped like a Mesoamerican pyramid.

'It's safe to come out, folks!’ said Kazé. ‘The monsters have been defeated!' The girl raised her index and middle finger in a V for Victory sign.

'No need to thank us; just doing our jobs,' said Ralphie. Here comes the groupies, she thought.

'Thank you?’ came a female voice from out of the crowd. ‘For what?! You caused more damage than that skeleton wolf ever could!'

The words short circuited Ralphie’s brain for several moments. She searched for the speaker among the sea of faces and found a woman with two black eyes glaring at her. She managed to keep her expression sweet. ‘Ma’am, I can assure you from recent personal experience that the Canine would have eaten at least one of you if we hadn’t interfered. Since everybody got away with minor injuries at worst, I’d call this a win.’

The woman balled her hands into fists, but a man sporting a black Pizzapocalypse motorcycle helmet and a red cape moved between them. As with most super lifestylers, Ralphie could guess his alias from his stereotypical costume. ‘Thank you, Deliveryman. It’s nice to see someone—’

Deliveryman grabbed her by the neck of her T-shirt. His voice came as a muffled roar through his helmet. ‘You idiot! The monster was heading back to the manhole before you attacked it! This is all your fault!’

Ralphie’s face gaped back at her from his reflective visor. She thought the Canine had been running at her at the time. Had she really brought about the whole superfight?

Kazé set a hand on Deliveryman’s wrist. ‘You can’t know that for sure, sir. From what I saw, the monster could have been heading for Gamer Girl or the civilians behind her. Please let go of my partner.’

Deliveryman tightened his grip on Ralphie’s shirt, then unhanded her, settling for jabbing his finger in her face. ‘You’re lucky you’re a girl, and a kid, and wearing glasses!’

The civilians booed and hissed at Ralphie and Kazé both.

Seeing that not only Deliveryman but all of the super lifestylers were joining in, Ralphie unleashed her anger. ‘What the bloody hell are you lot doing?! We’re superheroes; you’re supposed to be on our side!’

‘What’s your damage?’ said a platinum blonde Valley Girl. ‘Do you seriously think we’re going to, like, defend you just because of that? Barf me out!’ She gestured to her neon pink domino mask. ‘We dress like this because we dig real heroes, not super-zeroes like you!’

‘Yeah!’ said Taximan through his car grille visor. ‘You two wrecked my cab!’

Kazé’s cheeks reddened. ‘Sorry.’

An elderly Asian man pointed a crooked finger at them. ‘They obliterated my China shop!’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Kazé.

A pair of redhead twins wearing skimpy party dresses over spandex body suits stepped forwards.

‘You sprained my sister’s wrist!’ said Party Girl.

‘On my birthday!’ said Birthday Girl.

Ralphie placed her hand over Kazé’s mouth before she could apologise again and bared her teeth at the crowd. 'This is ridiculous! We risked our lives to save yours and you're moaning about bullshit you should have been prepared for!'

Spokeswoman spoke, the black lady’s words loudened by the trio of stage microphones protruding by thin stands from her leather collar: 'IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS SUPERHEROES TO RISK YOUR LIVES TO SAVE OURS—AND WITH AS LITTLE COLLATERAL DAMAGE AS POSSIBLE. THIS LEVEL OF DESTRUCTION IS UNPRECEDENTED EVEN HERE IN THE DANGER ZONE; YOU RENDERED OUR SAFETY MEASURES USELESS. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT SUPERHUMAN SOLUTIONS IS PLANNING TO SUE YOU BOTH FOR SUPERHEROIC NEGLIGENCE.'

Kazé’s voice was a whisper: 'I'm really sorry. We were trying to help.'

Ralphie felt herself shaking with outrage. 'You thankless bastards! You might all be dead if it wasn’t for us!’ Her headphones caught the wail of police sirens far away. The feds were late, as usual. She wanted to stay, to give the civvies the bollocking of their lives, but she knew it would be best if she and Kazé were gone when the doughnut patrol arrived. 'Damn! Let’s get out of here, Fangirl. I'm sick of these ingrates.' She lifted Kazé off of her feet so she was carrying her bridal style and dashed away from the Danger Zone with the super speed of Sonic the Hedgehog, kicking over a comic book stand on her way out.

#​

Kazé peeped at the distant intersection from behind a dumpster. ‘I think the police are gone now.’

‘Mmm,’ said Ralphie. She adjusted her position so that she was slouching rather than sitting against the alley wall.

Her partner kneeled beside her.

Quiet.

The wall in front of them was smeared with colourful supervillain graffiti. Ralphie couldn’t decipher most of the elaborate lettering, but there was one message within a white speech bubble written in plain comic sans: WHO’S GOING TO SAVE US FROM THE SUPERHEROES?!

She ran her finger down the tear in the neck of her T-shirt. ‘I can’t believe how treacherous those civvies were.’

Kazé shrugged. ‘They’ve been spoiled. The A-list superheroes solve problems so flawlessly; no one remembers the days when it was just amateurs like you and me running around.’

‘Huh. The more you give them, the more they want.’

‘I guess. We’re just going to have to get used to demanding civilians if we want to do this full-time. Me especially: I was ready to cry back there.’

‘I was ready to throw a shoryuken.’

Kazé smiled and shook her head. ‘Want to hear a joke to cheer you up?’

‘No.’

‘What’s Wonder Woman’s favourite drug?’

Determined to sulk, Ralphie kept quiet. Then Kazé started nudging her side. She exhaled through her nose. ‘Whaaat?’

‘Heroin!’

Ralphie smirked…snickered…giggled.

Shouting and shadows filled the alleyway. The two of them looked at each other, then crawled to the side of the dumpster. Dozens of civilians were charging down the street waving cardboard signs.

‘A demonstration?’ said Kazé.

‘Yeah,’ said Ralphie. ‘Do you think we should get involved?’

‘Why wouldn’t we?’

Ralphie cast her eyes down. ‘What if I…screw things up…?’

Kazé cupped Ralphie’s chin in her hand and lifted her head up. Her doll-like face was gentle and kind. ‘You’re only superhuman. Yeah, you made some mistakes today, but that’s to be expected on your début. All things considered, you did fine, and you can only get better from here. Just keep going and you’ll be an A-list superhero before you know it, Ralphie Hero.’

Words failed Ralphie for seconds on end. Sometimes she forgot just how mature, intelligent, and cool her best friend really was. ‘Uh…thanks. You did pretty good too, Comikazé Maniakku.’

‘Ew, nickname nickname.’

‘My bad. Kazé.’

For a moment, they simply held each other’s gaze.

Ralphie stood up, turned towards the demonstration, and brought her fists to her hips. ‘This looks like a job for Gamer Girl, and her trusty sidekick, Fangirl!’

Kazé got to her feet and compared their difference in height with her fingers. ‘I’ve never seen a comic book cover where the sidekick was a half-foot taller than the mentor.’

Ralphie pouted.

#

​

Video game summons Ralphie uses/mentions in this chapter:

Run from Sonic the Hedgehog.

Shoryuken from Street Fighter.

 

Well i was writing my reply, and you have posted the second chapter just before i post, so not so fast

 

Gamer Girl #2: The Public Good Part 1​

The demonstration marched through Happy Place, from the spired red-brick shophouses of Downtown to the symmetrically arranged barracks of Camp Calibre to the monster meat markets of Harbour Pariah, swelling from a hundreds-strong rabble to a horde of thousands as academics, journalists, and troublemakers joined its ranks, bringing several streets at a time to blaring gridlock as its shifting centipede of a body twisted towards the heart of the borough.

Ralphie and Kazé strolled a little ways behind it eating hot dogs.

‘What are they protesting again?’ said Ralphie, her mouth half full of spicy sausage.

‘I don’t know,’ said Kazé between bites. ‘I don’t think they know. The people at the back said they were following the people in the middle, the people in the middle look like they’re just taking pictures of the people at the front, and the people at the front seem to be going in five different directions.’

Ralphie burped. ‘Sounds about right.’

They tailed the leftmost stream of demonstrators into the Immigration Sector, a maze-like neighbourhood composed almost entirely of foreign embassies, each one flaunting its own distinctly national architectural style. Newly arrived families from the UK, Japan, America, and a zillion other United Nations member states gawked shamelessly as they all passed by. Kazé smiled and waved. Ralphie held her nose against the hybrid stench of Earl Grey tea, incense, and cheese burgers.

A wave of midday mugginess washed over the multicultural labyrinth as the two of them wound around its zigzag streets, turning their powered armour and chainmail catsuit into humanoid-shaped ovens. Though this had the hilarious effect of frizzing Kazé’s bob cut into something resembling a rock star do, it also caused Ralphie to sweat to the point of audibly squelching. Kazé was in the middle of explaining the potential risks and rewards of using her Megafan to cool them down when the drove they were stalking slowed to a crawl.

Due to her 5 foot nothing build, Ralphie had to jump to see what was going on ahead of them. The various tendrils of the demonstration were all crowding into a single broad cul-de-sac, moving towards what looked like a sapphire tower block encircled by national flags at the end of the road.

Kazé gulped as she gazed up at the structure. ‘Yikes. These folks may not know what they’re angry about, but they must be real angry if they want to make a scene here.’

‘Yeah….’ Ralphie scratched her head. ‘Alright, I give up. What is that?’

‘It’s the United Nations embassy. You’ve been living in Happy Place your whole life; how do you not know that?’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t get out much.’

As they inched closer to the tower block, Ralphie noticed that its sapphire hue was actually a reflection of the sky; all of the windows must have been one-way mirrors. In the distance, the foremost demonstrators were trying to gain access to the main entrance, but two rows of men and women dressed in all-black suits and mirrored sunglasses were blocking their advance.

‘Ooh look’—Kazé pointed—‘it’s the Secret Service!’

‘Super spies, huh?’ said Ralphie. ‘This is starting to get interesting. We’ll miss all the action if we stay back here, though. Let’s go’—she scanned the area for vantage points, spotted a balcony on the immigrant reception centre next to the embassy, jabbed a finger at it—‘there.’

Kazé raised an eyebrow. ‘How? We going to crowd surf?’

Ralphie summoned Kid Icarus: Uprising's Power of Flight; a torrent of twinkling blue lights gushed from her middle back. She smiled smugly. ‘We’re going to fly.’

Her partner’s mouth became a straight line. ‘Have I ever mentioned how jealous I am of you?’

‘I got superpowers; you got noticeable boobs. A girl can only have so much luck.’ She held out her arms. Kazé stepped forwards and allowed herself to be hoisted up.

Then Ralphie willed herself up, far beyond the heads of the crowd.

The pair of them chortled as they glided, hot wind blowing through their hair. With their bird’s eye view, they could see everyone in the demonstration. There were high school and university students holding protest signs, teenaged shrine maidens out of Little Neo Tokyo, fishers and farmers, kids sporting Guy Fawkes masks, grizzled super soldier veterans, equipment-laden settlers back from the Wild Islands, reporters and camera operators, monster hunters garbed in the freakish hides of their prey, white robed omnist priests, and countless super lifestylers,

‘What a mix!’ said Kazé.

Ralphie nodded. ‘That’s our Super City for you: melting pot for weirdos…. See any hotties getting naked for the cause?’

‘Mmmmm yeah no.’

‘Boo…. I can see down that gyaru chick’s shirt pretty well, though. No wonder Superman flies everywhere.’

‘Gamer Girl, stop using your miraculous superhuman abilities for evil.’

‘In a minute. Fuck, she’s seen me. Time to go.’

They touched down on the balcony and hurried to the railing overlooking the face-off at the main entrance. The frontline demonstrators were singing ‘We Shall Overcome’; the super spies were stroking stun batons.

The embassy’s double doors swung open and a woman with crimson hair in a ponytail strode through. She was remarkably muscular, and appeared to be wearing the blue suit jacket of a Super Liberal Party representative over the red sports bra, boxing shorts, and hand and foot wraps of a Screaming Fist tournament fighter. The super spies parted their formation to let her pass. A roar came up from the demonstration. The woman grinned like a Cheshire cat and clicked her fingers. All of the demonstrators went completely quiet, though their mouths continued to move.

Ralphie laughed, but a sudden tightness in her throat restrained the sound.

'Don't bother trying to gripe,' said the woman in a Manhattan accent, ‘I just used my anatomy authority to disable your vocal cords. I'm Body Woman, the Prime President's personal aide. His presidency and the ambassadors are in an important meeting right now, so what you're going to do is talk to me: I'm going to select one of you to speak for all of you and if what I hear is reasonable, I'll pass it on to the boys upstairs.' She snapped her fingers at a demonstrator. 'You, angry girl, sixty seconds; what's wrong? Go.'


Video game summons Ralphie uses in this chapter:

The Power of Flight from Kid Icarus: Uprising (Pit).

 

Ha!

 

I now have 15 posts. How do I go about linking my story posts for the Table of Contents? I know how to link separate pages but not posts on the same page.

 

Never mind. I figured it out.

 

Gamer Girl #2: The Public Good Part 2​

The demonstration’s new mouthpiece was a scruffy, high school age brunette costumed in a newsboy cap, a black leather jumpsuit, and a skull and crossbones t-shirt. Ralphie guessed Tomboy as an alias.

'What's wrong?!' said Tomboy. 'What isn't?! We're in the middle of a supervillain crime wave, we're losing the war against the Cybermutant Armada, we've been infiltrated by the psychomancers, and we got attacked by another monster not five minutes ago! This country is going down the toilet and Prime President Chairman’s peacenik policies are to blame!’

‘Why is he talking to the ambassadors?! Does he really think the United Nations is going to help us if he grovels hard enough?! I don’t know if that wuss has chosen to forget, but it was the UN that started this mess in the first place by deciding to dump all of its paranormals in a single archipelago! Superia is just another North Atlantic island of exile to the old countries, just a place to get shot of all us superhumans and superhuman sympathisers! They don’t care what happens to us, just so long as our “paranormal problems” stay in the Nine Hundred Islands!’

‘We’re on our own, and we need to deal with this nightmare status quo right now before it kills us! If Chairman doesn't get out here and explain himself'—she smacked her palm with a baseball bat—'we'll drag him out!'

Chuckling, Body Woman slowly shook her head. 'I admire your spunk, kiddo, but expecting the Prime President to drop everything just to put your mind at ease is plain naïve. As for your little ultimatum'—she pulled up her sleeves and flexed her arm muscles so hard that the veins in her face bulged—'if you and your friends try anything, I'll beat you into pacifism.' She relaxed, clicked her fingers. Ralphie felt her throat loosen; several dozen demonstrators coughed. ‘Feel free to keep protesting peacefully, though. It’s your own time you’re wasting.’

Ralphie turned to Kazé. ‘So let me get this straight: these bloody civvies are willing to nobble the Prime President if they’re even vaguely in trouble, but when a superhero has risked their neck to rescue them, they don’t give a damn; that’s the superhero’s responsibility. Selfish arseholes.’

Kazé poked her in the chest. ‘No. Tomboy was clearly speaking on behalf of all Superians: civilians, superheroes, super soldiers; all of us. And I think what she said was neat…well, some of it anyway. Things do need to change around here; I can understand why these folks are mad.’

Shouts rang out from below: the demonstrators were screaming at Body Woman.

‘Callous bitch!’ said a hooded young man with a bandana tied around his face.

‘We ain’t goin’ to be ignored no more, God dang it!’ said a farmer as he shook his pitchfork.

‘You’re supposed to keep us safe!’ said a baby faced shrine maiden in a blood-splattered kimono.

A super soldier veteran raised aloft his stump of a right arm. ‘This is not what I fought for!’

Body Woman placed her hand over her mouth and yawned.

Kazé grimaced. ‘Er…having said that, we’ll have to stop these guys if they do get violent. A riot is the last thing Happy Place needs just now.’

Puffing, Ralphie rested her elbows on the railing. Body Woman was talking to a bald super spy. She adjusted the dial on her left headphone so that she could hear their conversation over the din of the demonstration.

‘Under no circumstances can these punks be allowed inside,’ came Body Woman’s voice in her ears. ‘If and when they rush us, I’ll make the nearest 30 throw their guts up. Once the pukers are down, you and your spooks hit the rest with everything you’ve got: stun batons, riot revolvers, tear gas, whatever—just make ‘em scatter.’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ said the super spy.

Body Woman withdrew a pair of mobile phones from her jacket pockets, started texting rapidly on both with her thumbs. ‘Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this could not have happened at a worse time…. Apparently the riot squad we sent for is “caught in a traffic jam caused by the protest” and all the A to C-list superheroes are “held up putting out a fire in Megapolis”. Fan-fucking-tastic.’ She gave a long sigh. ‘I miss Screaming Fist: getting the hell beat out of you is heaven in comparison to this….’ She lowered her voice: ‘Casey?’

‘Yes, ma’am?’

‘Send word to all your freelancers in the area: anyone who can get rid of this mob without betraying our involvement gets ten thousand cash. I’d prefer no rough stuff but I won’t argue with results. Comprende?’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

Ralphie’s tongue lolled out of her mouth. Ten thousand dollars! I could buy a virtual reality pod with that kind of scratch! Or a mint condition copy of Awesome Strongman #1! Or a boyfriend! Or a girlfriend! Or both…! Or…I could bribe my way onto the fast track to becoming an A-list superhero!

‘Why are you smiling?’ said Kazé, leaning against the railing.

Ralphie composed herself, readjusted the dial on her headphones. ‘Uh, I was just…thinking of the new Fat Cat Predator Mk. 6 graphics card: it has an omega generation stream processor, so 3D environments can potentially be rendered photorealistic.’

Kazé blinked. ‘You’re talking about video game computer stuff, aren’t you?’

‘Yes I am. Say, why don’t we try and break up the demonstrators before things turn ugly?’

‘We can’t. They haven’t broken any laws so far. If we interfered now, we’d be violating the superhero code.’

She slid an arm over her partner’s shoulders. ‘Fangirl, these people are going to explode any second now. Do you really want to have to fight old farmers and students around our age? And little kids? You’re a people person: I’m positive you could convince them to leave.’

Kazé hugged herself, looking for all the world like an angsty teenaged medieval knight. ‘Maybe I should…. The code does allow pre-emptive action if someone is obviously about to commit a crime, or if public safety is at risk…but I don’t want to trample on the demonstrators’ right to protest; I agree with what they’re saying for Pete’s sake. If only they weren’t so rowdy. Oh Buddha. I didn’t think being a superhero would be this morally ambiguous.’

A million-watt lightbulb went off in Ralphie’s head. She regarded Kazé over the tops of her glasses. ‘What do you think Golden Boy would do in this situation?’

Kazé wrung her hands. ‘He’d probably try to pacify the demonstrators….’ Then her dark eyes lit up. ‘But he wouldn’t drive them off! He’d suggest a better, more lawful way for them to get their voices heard!’

‘Oh.’ Ralphie stared. ‘Really? Are you sure he wouldn’t want to break them up just to be safe?’

‘Sure as eggs is eggs!’ Kazé beamed. ‘I am his number one fan.’

She smiled sweetly. Bloody fuck shit arse bugger damn Coleco Telstar Arcade! Kazé’s parents may have been Japanese, but they’d raised their baby girl in New York City for the first five years of her life. In that time, she’d soaked up a lifetime’s worth of American niceness, which made getting her to do anything questionable a near impossibility.

Nevertheless, Ralphie wasn’t done yet. Though she herself had been born and bred in Superia, her parents were from London. With the English cunning of Winston Churchill and Dennis the Menace running through her synapses, she would find a way to send the demonstrators packing.


Video game summons Ralphie uses in this chapter:

Gamer Gear headphones from Second Life.

 

Gamer Girl #2: The Public Good Part 3​

Kazé raised her forefinger beside her head. ‘Got it! I’ve totally just thought of a supercool way to save the protest, and I didn’t even have to use the internet! Hee hee!’ She drew her Megafan and pushed one of the buttons. ‘There. Now I can use my fan’s megaphone mode to tell the crowd. Fly me down so I can talk to them face-to-face, won’t you, sweetie?’

Ralphie tousled her partner’s hair. ‘Sure thing, you goody two-shoes, you!’

She scooped Kazé up and floated to the small stretch of vacant space between the demonstrators and the super spies. Behind them, Body Woman was busy barking orders into both of her mobile phones, while up front, Tomboy was spitting venom at the vanguard of the demonstration, encouraging them to use their protest signs as melee weapons in the coming battle. Having alighted from Ralphie’s arms, Kazé approached Tomboy, yelped, scampered back towards her, and turned her away from the throng.

‘What’s the matter?’ said Ralphie.

Kazé’s facial features had enlarged as far as humanly possible. ‘There are some people from our school standing right there.’

She glanced over her shoulder. From the legion of strangers, she picked out three familiar faces to the far right: Reginald Albion, the burly captain of the school rugby team, Girly Girl, the pink-pigtailed president of the fashion society, and Akira Ryu, a pretty boy karate aficionado whom she had once bought a Kit Kat in a clumsy attempt at seduction.

Ralphie snapped her head back around. ‘Bollocks.’

‘Do you think they’d recognise us?’ said Kazé.

‘Not sure they would clock me. I don’t associate with them much at school…though I am memorably short, and I do have a funny button nose, and my dad does say I have stunning green eyes. Shit, I’m an unforgettable Christmas elf. You have friends in all the cliques so you’re triple fucked.’

Whimpering, Kazé reached under the neck of her chainmail catsuit and produced a black necklace attached to a white miniature domino mask. ‘I guess we’ll have to have faith in our incognito charms to keep our secret identities safe. Please don’t be fakes.’

Ralphie pressed down on her breastplate; beneath the powered armour, her own charm pushed cold against her bosom.

‘Excuse meee,’ came a squeaky voice at their backs.

Girly Girl was leaning into their personal space, her elfin face brightening with obvious recognition.

Oh God, she thought. Why didn’t we just wear masks?!

‘I knew I’d seen you two before!’ said Girly Girl. ‘You gals are the superheroes who saved the Danger Zone from that monster today, aren’t’cha?!’

Ralphie cocked her head to the side. ‘Eh?’

‘Yup!’ Kazé nodded furiously. ‘That’s exactly who we are!’

Girly Girl embraced both of them, enveloping them in her silk-soft leopard print cloak; the sweet scent of rose filled Ralphie’s nostrils. ‘Oh my gosh, thank you sooo much! I was right by the manhole when that coyote monster jumped out: you two saved my butt!’

‘Oh,’ said Ralphie. 'Hang about, you’re not angry with us like the other civvies?’

Girly Girl released them. ‘No way! I couldn’t belieeeve how badly those jerks treated you! Just because they got a little injured and their stupid stores got trashed?! Puh-lease! Everybody should have been happy they got away with their lives! There were a bunch of us holed up in the shophouses that wanted to thank you gals, but you ran away before we could get outside! So on behalf of the others’—she kissed them each on the cheek—‘thank you!’

Ralphie’s face became hot. ‘Um, don’t mention it; my partner and I beat up dogs and dead babies all the time—I mean monsters: we beat up big monsters because we’re big heroes!’ She screamed internally.

‘We appreciate it,’ said Kazé.

Girly Girl giggled. ‘Y’know, the mayhem this morning is actually why most of us are out here right now. Everybody was already worried about the cybermutants and junk, so all of us getting ambushed like that was totes the straw that broke the camel’s back. The police didn’t arrive until 5 minutes after you two had left! Scary, am I right?! This country needs a serious makeover. Ah, but where the frick’s my manners: I’m Girly Girl.’

The fashionista offered Kazé a manicured hand, who shook it with both of her own. ‘Nice to meet you, Girly Girl! I’m Fangirl!’

‘Fab!’

The hand turned to Ralphie; she gave it a brief judder while averting her gaze. ‘I’m Gay Girl—Gamer Girl.’

‘Amazeballs!’ said Girly Girl. Then her eyeliner-laden eyes grew large. ‘Are you gals going to storm the embassy with us?!’

Kazé tapped her Megafan. ‘I was hoping to talk to everyone about that.’

‘No kidding! Wooow, I’ll go tell Tomboy right away!’ Girly Girl clutched both of their hands. ‘Thanks again! You two are my heroes!’ She spun on her heel, paused, turned round again. ‘By the bye, lovin’ the light armour. Those stripperific spandex abominations need to get out of my superhero fashion scene.’ With that, she skipped away.

‘Phew,’ said Kazé. ‘The incognito charms must be working: I only spoke to her a few days ago…. Gamer Girl?’

‘Sorry?’ said Ralphie, still watching Girly Girl as she hopped and bounced. ‘Ah right, cool. So what, her mind is registering us as different people?’

‘That’s how the magic works apparently.’ Kazé tucked her charm back under her chainmail. ‘Sure is amazing what you can buy on the dark web.’

‘Yeah….’ Ralphie touched her moistened cheek. Girly Girl was really grateful! And she admired us! Even after I’d made a fool of myself! Maybe not all civvies are bad; maybe I should help the demonstration too…. Wait, stop; what am I thinking? There’s 10 grand on the line and my future as a superhero to think of: I can’t afford to be getting sentimental just because I ran into one thankful civilian…even if she was drop-dead gorgeous.

She shook her head forcefully. Got to stay focused. How am I going to clear out these attacktivists? Maybe a mind control summon? Yeah, that could work. It’ll teach those other civvies for humiliating Kazé and I earlier. The bastards don’t want our protection? Fine! Let’s see how they like it when their local guardian angels aren’t looking out for them!