Short Story HOLY CRAP I DID SOMETHING?

gets some sleep, my precious Bal. Take care of yourself.

 

.-. mmkay

 

@brasca123 read it

 

The sky was an endless shade of black, blotted out by a sea of dark clouds. Black and ominous, carrying an aura of complete and utter desolation. As if they planned on consuming the world whole. Echoes of thunder rippled out and electric coils danced across the sky like majestic dragons. The lightning was proud and aloof, refusing to submit to the designs of the heavens, raining down boundless fury onto the earth. The winds scraped across the land, leaving it bare and rain pelted downward with ceaseless vitality. And there he stood. A man, of rather ordinary bearing. Nothing of note about his features except his eyes. Completely and utterly black. Without any expression, as if this world meant nothing to him.

The man raises his hand, then a slight smile appears on his face. Suddenly the sky flashes blue and the dragon descends. Refusing to be belittled a mere mortal, the lightning savagely strikes where he stands. Endless blue light floods where he stood, and the man's figure could no longer be seen. All that remained was a scorch mark on the earth. Was he completely erased? Or did he disappear?


This was the first of 4 sightings of this "man", years later he would be known by the locals as their local god, guardian of their city. But that's a story for another day.

 

Just read it, not bad Baldy-kun, not bad at all. Was a good read overall.

 

Was rather meh. The writing style was rather disjointed and awkward. There was nothing to the plot and not really any suspense or horror created

 

........

 

The title of the thread was more interesting than the short story. Reading it felt like I was watching a trailer for a B-rated movie. I enjoy horror with a build-up instead of jumping straight into it. Not bad, but I wouldn't give it an A.

 

@Arcturus: the only person to actually critique it when I asked for critiquing

 

I may do something about that.....
Probably not but, I made this at 1 am so its kinda..... Bad

 

Then I have to give you an A for working under stress. Good job, @Balthazzar. I'm changing my vote to "surprisingly good".

 

@Balthazzar
You don't use enough descriptive imagery to really make the horror come through. It's the little things that really give horror impact, and your story is lacking in those qualities

 

...............
Look at my new status that Im making and you'll figure that im an idiot for staying up

 

...............
Look at my new status that Im making and you'll figure that im an idioy for staying up

T_T thank god for arc.... where would critisisicm (i know its spelled wrong and IDC) on NuF be without her... him.... it

 

kek

 

lel

 

I skimmed it

 

meh, good enough. Any criticism?

 

so..... who the hell voted scary?

 

Kek