Discussion How to get a lovers.

Why i want one? Because i want a family.

 

I'm curious, would you care to point out the particular terms that make him seem like an idiot?

 

Pls ask your big bro and share that solution whit us.

 

First of all ching chong novels really? That's a tad too much.
Second of all. When you speak with people in real life, do you type/write the words out? Are you mute or something? Plus english might not be his first language.
Third of all your post makes you look like an asshole. That's all.

 

I have a huge circle of friends and girls that do show interest in me are not of my liking(not that they are ugly). 19 no GF since birth can talk with a hot chick without weirding her out but still no GF. I got busted when I courted a girl, never had the courage ever since. I'm more afraid of rejection than death lol.

 

Well, first thing first, try talking with more people. Don't need to be GF material, just socializing with people to make yourself more comfortable and smoother at interaction. You could try going to gym, sport club, tutor class, etc for that. And if push come to shove and you sucks bad at RL interaction, then there's 2D waifu.

 

Wake up -> work -> home -> read -> sleep -> repeat.
My life for the last 5 years.

 

Well that isn't bad xD My aunt did that for her whole life too~ She is 62 already~

 

Here in my country, many youngster(age 12-20) these days rape and make many girls pregnant and end up in jail.

 

i'am quite person but never been onto this level it's just really sad.

 

Ok, the pie will enlighten you.
Save up $400, then go on craigslist and look for listing about Woman looking for Man. Message said person and use that saved $400 to get laid.

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In a non-joking manner - getting a girlfriend is rather easy. Unless your really a stooge. Clean yourself up (if you need fashion advice I suppose I could post some advice on that as well.) and go to the gym like once a week. Actually make a dating profile on site(tinder, mate1, that type of thing.) and post 5 pics of yourself (None of them being bathroom selfies. Get your bro to take them for you, don't use a damn selfie stick). If your brother or one of your friends has a nice car like a Mustang, Impala, or convertible make sure you pose with said car in one of your profile pics.

Do NOT invite the girls you message to anything but coffee shops. You don't want to fork out tons of money for a nice dinner with a girl you may want to bail from in the first 10mins. Now your going to strike out on the first few dates, that's fine.
Just spending time hanging out with girls at coffee shops and bowling (date type venues: Museums, art exhibits, movies, etc.) will get you a bit more experience and hopefully get you better at socializing. Just get yourself out there. It'll all seem really childish once you actually get a woman.

I'd tell you to go ask out girls at the club, church or what have you but you stated your a shut-in. So the dating site route will work to get you better at socializing. Don't take woman walking out of your dates to serious, think of this somewhat like an RPG and you need to get that glorious XP to get the phat loot. (Or asses in this case.)

Would also advise you to not bail on ugly girls when your just trying to get yourself some of that XP and lose the V-card. Just putting that out there friend.

 

wh

where are you come from? that's a really interesting country ^_^

 

Talk to people. Build up your social skills to an extent. If you are having troubles making friends, then finding a girlfriend will probably be a bit more difficult. So work on building regular relationships, before trying to get a girlfriend.

If you're having trouble maintaining a conversation ask them questions about themselves. People are narcissistic by nature, they will talk about themselves.

 

Honestly, it's going to be tough. I feel you bro, I was the same way. Spent most of my time reading books and watching anime (I'm talking practically 24/7, almost never leave the room). Didn't have friends, barely knew my family after a couple years of that.

I got fed up with it after awhile, and wrote down a bunch of stuff on paper about what kind of person I wanted to be. (Charismatic, kind, the guy people always want to be around, etc).

So, I tried to be the person that I wanted to be. I needed help and practice talking to people, so I became a Sales Associate at a clothing retail store (where practically all you do is be kind and talk to people, and just overall try to get people to like you).

After enough practice, I finally got to where I'm somewhat close to being g the kind of person I want to be. I'm a lot more social, I go to more events where people share my hobbies, and now I'm the guy people actually like being around. (Also, I've now been in a few different relationships since, so it works!!)

Overall point is, before you can be in a relationship with another person, you have to be satisfied and comfortable with who you are. If you want to be someone else, then do it before you try for a relationship.

It's not so much about you looking for a gf. It's about getting them to look for you. What kind of qualities do you have that you think a woman would like? (And be honest with yourself, because lying to yourself isn't the way to go on this one).

Change whatever you don't like about yourself, keep the things you do like. Then the kind of women who are looking for someone like you, will find you.

That's how I met my current gf (fanime!).

Obviously I still read books and watch anime, just not as much before. And now I've got my cool gf to do it with too

In any case, hope this helps

 

Love yourself, be yourself and be confident!

 

Do you still suffer from that complex?

 

I can teach you how, but it's not something that you can just pick up and get to work on. You need years or very great motivation to remove old habits.

However, this is a quick checklist that everyone can do. This doesn't guarantee you can get a girlfriend, but it does make you more enticing. For more in depth seduction training, contact me by PM if you're serious.

1) Take a bath. I heard Europeans don't take a bath, but if you want to make yourself more appealing, please do take a bath. Don't forget to use a soap. Bath twice a day if you want. It's better.
2) Get rid of your cologne. While it can work if you're trying to get your gf into your bed, you don't have a gf yet. It works if there is attraction. Right now, there is no attraction, so it's a distraction.
3) Get a hobby. No, not video games, something outdoorish. A hobby makes you more irresistible and being under the sun improves you complexion. My suggestion, try mountain climbing, gardening, camping, swimming or even cooking. Which one sounds more interesting when you introduce yourself, "I usually just watch TV at home after work" or "I race stock car on the weekends"? You can play video games, nobody's stopping you, but unless you're a Starcraft champion with hundreds and thousands of advertising deals, this is not something you tell to the other side on the first introduction. Heck, even running a youtube channel with 10,000 subscribers is a better introduction that "I play games in my spare time".
4) Practice speaking. I know you can speak, but can you think on your feet? Can you tell if your words are going to piss people off?
5) Don't be selfish. While jerks do have their allure, selfish people who think that they're above everyone else is a total turnoff. Try to think about others when you do things. You think your opinions matter? Sure, make it known, but don't demean others when you say it. You got a seat on the bus? Practice giving that seat to pregnant women or senior citizens when you can. You don't even have to talk to them, just get up when they're close and step away.
6) Go to school or have a trade. School is often the easiest place to find a gf and you can use the excuse of having the same class to talk to girls. If you're no longer in school, no problem, have a skill that can be a conversation starter. This is closely related to number 3. Maybe you're good with plumbing or you have in depth knowledge about growing carrots in your lawn. With luck, you can probably even bag that beautiful divorced MILF a couple of doors over who's still breastfeeding her kid as your play-partner.
7) Simply go out, talk to people, expand your horizons, expand your pallet. If you can afford to travel, go for it. If you can't, just playing tennis at the local recreation center is more than good enough. But you have to be dedicated, you must not quit halfway. You should be on speaking terms with most of the regulars there. It doesn't matter if they're all senior citizens. You need the experience, not the romance.
8) Go out, be seen. And in exchange, go out, watch people. I'm not telling you to peep on them as they take a bath. I'm telling you to learn through observation what is acceptable in society and what is horrific when you're outside. It's much easier to be critical about others, so by observing others, you can more easily learn what you should and should not do yourself. It will also help with your fashion sense.
9) Get a job. I almost forgot this. It doesn't matter what job. It can be a cashier at a local speedmart or a part time programmer. Just have a job. You need the money and the work training.

 

"Be confident!" isn't as easy as it says for us anti-social!

Before getting a girlfriend, you first need a girl friend.

To level it up baby step by baby step, you can start off by just greeting people Good morning! or maybe just by nodding or smiling. You can ask simple questions (even questions that you might actually know the answer) like Where is this room? Can you help me there? Or maybe a bit of a lie wouldn't hurt like I dropped my thing somewhere, I wonder if you saw it? And after she answers, you can just continue following up related topics.

If it is still hard to start a conversation yourself, wait for someone to talk to you then do everything you can to keep it going. Interests, news, films, about your classes, funny events in the past, gossips, jokes, video you watched, go above and beyond! Like if she has a book in her hand, ask what is about... Things like that. Observe what you think she likes or got interested with then go from there.

I agree with @Wildly_Laughing try working at a job were you don't have a choice but to socialize. I did that--I worked at a fastfood as Cashier... Whether I liked it or not, I had to talk.. In the end, I stayed there for a whole 3 years and became more relaxed in socializing. (Though I can socialize when I'm spoken to, honestly, I don't like it that much because I'm too self-conscious and I always hide my true feelings. So right now I have only have handful of friends, and my ex-boyfriend was even from an online game, hehe~) Speaking of which, befriending people online may also help you~

 

What complex are you talking about?

 

The one that made you aspire to be "charismatic, kind, the one people want to be around" and other social labels. It sounds like you were feeling inferior to other people and felt oppressed by them, thus I can deduce that from not feeling well as yourself you decided to become like others.

But I do not know if this is a good thing, just that if it were me at least, I wouldn't like to be someone like that, even if I was left all alone in the entire world I would want to stay in my own ways at least rather than becoming someone else not to be forsaken by others. I'd rather be accepted as I am, or never be if such is fate.