School bullying

In the spoiler forum, we started a discussion about experience of bullying and how it was resolved and how it affected the victims after words. I would like to share it with the rest of you guys with the hope to help people cope with their bullies or give them some ideas for resolution or just make them know there is a future for everyone and it's going to be different from whatever you're experiencing now.
Thank you to @SamGoingHam @Miaka_Mei @annkanni @insteadofdeath @VictoriaRose for letting me quote their messages.
Please feel free to share your stories too.

 

Well tbh I used to be a bit of a bully in high school. Not in a mean sort of way or anything but there was this kid whose mum used to make amazing food for lunch and he was/still is a bit of an annoying little twat. Yknow the kind who do nothing other than breathe yet still somehow manage to annoy you. Well anyways. Long story short I'd always eat half his lunch then go back to sleep.

 

When I was around 10 I got bullied in school as well. But as luck (?) would have it at that time I used to be really clumsy and I basicly lived in my own world. It took me years to figure out that they tried to bully me. One example is the put glue on my jacket on the bus and tried to stick my hair to it. When I found out I simple went: damn why didn't I close my glue and how did it get on my jacket. I was really confused when I could find any glue in my backpack Years later I realized that the "cool" kids were standing behind me...the only reaction they got from me was me asking them for help in finding the open glue they gave up pretty soon. So I guess one way to protect oneselft is by simply ignoring them?

 

bullying often happens when the victims are weak and didnt have enough courage to fight back againts the bullying...
well, it's their own fault for being a pussy

 

I didn't really get bullied. I don't know why, but I naturally made friends whenever I meet someone new. Or at least, acquaintances. And I have got good social survival skills. I can make myself invisible pretty easily, and I almost always express my views in a diplomatic tone.
One kid did try to bully me back then, but I just got some friends to help me out while I played the innocent card....damn. I was pretty much a politician in school back then.

 

Well You Should Have A Bit Of Courage Not Be A Pussy Who`s Doesn`t Even Talk Back.As For Me My Dad Told Whoever Wants To Bully You Go And Break Their Bones(thanks to this I got suspended once)

 

bully??? nah all my friend is afraid of me because 1 acident, some of my classmate insulting my father, he said my father is a dog & the results is a red fountain.

 

One of my Friends got bullied in school as he was half Japanese and timid, so I told those 2 guys to fuck off first.
When they didn't stop, I just gave them a nice beating. Since then they didn't dare to do anything again. As I was a good student no teacher believed that they got beaten up by myself.
I always got some bad looks from those thugs and their friends but they never tried anything again. Problem solved.

 

There was extra large huge and gigantic post I made in the previous thread about bullying from my experience.

The shorter version is this,

Bullies don't decide at random even when they decide on random. They test you first, do you laugh on their jokes or insults when the target of them is not you?

Do you look them in the eyes and then look down? Because then congrats you have been selected. If you need to look away, look at the sides.

The best way is to avoid bullies, no contact at all. Don't sit with them, don't talk with them. Don't laugh at their jokes and don't catch their attention by looking at them when they don't initiate the contact.

That was about prevention.

If you are being bullied, its time to evaluate your position. Calm down and get somewhere safe, take a paper on write on it, where is the bully from? School or work.

What is the worst he can do to you? Evaluate his threat level, can he kill if he needs to kill? Probably not. What weapons do he have? Bats, hockeys or a gun? Is he willing to use them?

How many supporters do he have? And how far are they willing to go with him? Do they just laugh at his ailly jokes or will they aid him in case you punch him.

What is the bully bullying you through? Jokes or hitting or threatning, make sure you don't fight the shark in water. If he cracks joke, cracking jokes is not your most popular solution here.

You investigate about similar victims like you, then how far are they willing to go to defend themselves or fight if need be.

In the end, you fight. Or whatever your analysis and gut feeling tells you.

Winning at a fight is a lot simpler than you think. You can be weaker in strength and shorter in height and still win. Just use your belt, your pencil, your pen, your keys, school table, school chair...anything.

The one who hits first always have es the advantage, make sure it is a surprise, hitting from behind is perfect.

Hit at his ears, chin, under the arm pits or at his groin. If needs be pull and yank his hair as hard as you can. Punch his nose, and remember to keep hitting. Once you start, you don't stop. You keep hitting, until he stops resiting, you hit him still.

 

I don't think the idea that only weak people get bullied, specifically for school children, it is the time they discovere themselves and if they are oppressed in any kind of social environment they would develop weaknesses. Please don't forget courage is also something you learn. In my case I learned it from my father, because he kept telling me whatever I do there is nothing he can't shoulder for me.

 

oioioi do yo know a rule with "do not mess with silent guys or you will got brutal ending"

 

Happened in grade 7, after i started playing sports (started playing soccer and floor hockey in grade 4 [not ice hockey cuz i can't skate] ) and learned some karate. Saw one of my friends who's pretty small and weak (was probably like 4'2) getting beat up by some husky dude. Ended up going after him and started fighting him. Dislocated his shoulder and he never bothered my friend again.
Before I was a pretty big nerd but I hated studying so started doing sports and learned karate along the way though it was only for a few months and it was only the basic skills.

 

If you dont learn or build your courage to fight back, you'd do worse or get stepped on when u live in the real society. (Be moderate, balance your good-bad sides)

It's fine to act like a goody two shoes. But have some guts, where's your pride? The good should use their wits and be black-bellied when the right time comes.

If you're a naughty nasty kid who strove to be a better person, befriend those bit weak kind-hearted kids. Share your courage, and take the good part in them. Learn to be patient and moderate.

Edit: What, u think something like reincarnation will fall on u Ah? Stop daydreaming, be realistic. Live with pride, as if this day that u live is the last day u lived.

 

Why? You my twin or what ... You sound like me back than like I only know someone try to bully me years later ,back than my reaction is like look blankly at them confused like huh? What? Who ? If I don't get answers within 5 secs I'll live back in my bubble ..... I have terrible memory when it came to remembering people name and have this great skill where my brain delete/skip whatever thing I find unpleasant I cannot recalled anything unless something trigger me to remember .... ... Well I always have this cold/expressionless face .....most of the time .... Bully find me boring maybe so ignore them maybe??
I don't know what kind of advice to give well for people who get bullied I'll try so first thing first honey LOVE YOURSELF!!!! No matter how ugly how imperfect you think you're .... Because everyone have something special find it no matter How small or how insignificant it's to other or how you think it's not good enough ... appreciate it .... Don't underestimate yourself too much ... It's alright to look up to people who've more in everything or whatever but make it as your drive to work harder for the better...try to look "down" too not on yourself try to search people that suffered from disaster have no home orphan etc you'll feel that at least you still have what they don't or something ... Be more confident and fight for yourself okay be brave .....

Good luck

 

Haha talk about being real it's true though and
Wow .. that quote is actually similar to my motto way of living____ " today is happening Right now so I'll live the way I want because I don't know what'll happen tomorrow why think too much just try to be calm and live comfortably and be happy as much as I can" _____that's basically my State of mind everyday ....

 

I had this one sensitive friend, basically a white lotus flower. I didn't stand that she was too easily swayed or more direct: EASILY MANIPULATED. It was a miracle I didn't slap her face, simply shouting and pinching her.

I pointed out both her good points while highlighting the bad ones. Mwahahaha
What, i'm not her mother. Dont expect me to protect her all the time, this kind of dumb ppl needs to grow up, damn it! I'd be conflicted to hurt her, but i still did so. Peiii i dont care if she hates me on that moment, better than she hated me later for not reminding her. HMPH!

 

... hmm ...
... got bullied once ... broke a table with the guy, broke his friends' noses ... first and last time someone bothered me in school ...

However, violence should never be the answer - says the older me.

 

Best solutions

1 Make friends
2 Be physically strong

Sadly with very young kids it is difficult for them to solve it themselves so it is the fault of the school staff and parents for not making sure they have good social interactions with other kids.
For midteens, it is easier for them to follow the solutions above.
Personally, I was bullied, bullied the kid back and felt bad about it and made friends with him. I was much older then though at 15 or 16.
I hate seeing bullying in media: Spiderman, Boku no Hero Academia etc. It is a very sensitive topic and it is usually not resolved and used as a lazy plot device.
Also it is not a one answer fits all solution as everyone's circumstances is different
The goal is for the bully to gain confidence and have a strong support network
Some countries treat bullying and physical abuse as part of growing up which is dangerous

 

Well, if i can put in my 2 cents. Number 1, cyber bullying is a myth turn off your computer you dang millennial. Number 2, most cases of bullying are kids who want so bad to be the victim, they will take any ol' insult or slight physical playing around from the people around them as a personal and intense assault on there person, ive just seen to many kids who "think" they are being bullied when in fact that's just how life is get used to it. And number 3, if you are being bullied, number 1 solution is to punch them in the face, nobody that age expects you to actually punch them in the nose, they will leave you alone, or, also in conjunction with punching them, make friends with the looser group who sits indoors at lunch and talks about league and other games... trust me they will be there, a nice safe reprieve. And lastly, if you can manage it, try acting like an a** hole, befriend some sports guys by being the funny weirdo, then after punching the guy tell them your awesome story of punching him in the face and in turn you will then get there backup and you will out the bully.

 

Great and all but your plan does not work with very young kids.
Also with someone who has been bullied from a very young age, or is abused at home and considers it normal
There are various conditions to consider.
You cannot expect someone with mental illness or other deficiency to cope.
I blame the bystanders who refuse to help in most situations