A child is soon to be born with a soul that is too powerful for it's body to hold, which will result in the child's life force being absorbed away within weeks of birth. A powerful magus, who is a friend of the childs' parents, uses the only method he is capable of using to save the child within the limited time he has; a method that is purely theoretical: split the soul of the child. In order to do this another life must be used as an "anchor" for the soul before it becomes split. Using scrying magic, the magus determines that the only soul compatible is another soon to be born child with almost no trace of a soul whom the midwife determines will most likely be stillborn. With the possibility of saving their children, both parents agree to the soul exchange. Seventeen years have passed since the successful casting of this magic. Now, for their own reasons, each of those two teens are trying to track the other down. One is a genius magus, a recent graduate of the National Academy of Magic for the L'rum Empire. The other, a brilliant up-and-coming strategist, tactician and Master Swordsman for the Kingdom of Cypranasia. However, one is slowly losing their memories and the other has a body full of organs that are starting to fail. The root cause? The spell from when they were born was imperfect! It is now a race against time for these two before they either die or lose their identity while dealing with all the other issues in their lives....like being framed for treason!
It's hard to say... this kind of heavier read is something I personally prefer to do with paper version. I don't know why, but when on computer, I prefer lighter read.
the back story seems overly complicated. maybe not focus on the back story first? like just let the story of origin out piece by piece after few chapter alon with the story. i cant stand to read most chineese novel because of the overly justified and glorified of the mc in the begining
This would be great as a full length novel. As a WN? Nope nope nope This kind of story needs to be written in full and polished and polished before release - only then will it be good
Good Description.... "It is now a race against time for these two before they either die or lose their identity while dealing with all the other issues in their lives....like being framed for treason!" thats not a good ending for a description XD ... just saying
Hahahah Yeah, I wasn't sure about that sentence myself. What would you suggest as a change to make it better? Or just remove this sentence altogether?
I dont know if this can help but ... but you should check out novel description of other works that has the same genre of your story It might help
It seems interesting but it'll honestly depend on how you develop the characters. Are they both male or female? Is the focus of the story strategizing, fighting, or romance?
Oh lots of stuff, I usually avoid stuff that focuses a lot on emotional drama, the whole web of lies, being framed, backstabbing friends. It just turns my stomach, and makes me livid. Kuro no Maou is a good example, I was really enjoying it, but it got so dark, they kept killing off characters, I just couldn't keep reading it.
You shouldn't make long descriptions like this...just make it like a summary but it is interesting ill probably read it also what are their genders?
@Lightness guessed correctly, but maybe now I should just go ahead and swap it. too obvious! The way I am presently building the story is heavy emphasis on strategy with fighting mixed in done in a way that will also build up the world for further expansion and hopefully not making that obvious. No actual plans for romance. Mostly because I probably wouldn't be good writing something like that. The above description does reveal a bit too much and makes it kinda in your face. I'd probably re-write it to be less revealing. What do you mean be overly justified and glorified MC? I actually wasn't planning on making it that dark to be honest. I was thinking something more along the lines of a rival character taking advantage of an easily misunderstood circumstance, so the MC and friend/family work to prove innocence. As a possibility, I was considering even that heightened emotions allow for brief inter exchanges of the two MCs due to the whole soul thing going on allowing one to assist the other in this regard due to a difference in knowledge, if that makes sense.
you know, the way that the author justify any and every action the MC do. like no matter how much an ass the MC is, the author will make as if the MC's reason is indeed reasonable but its actually not. also ussualy how the author justify the MC for being unreasonably strong just because he was specially talented and strong, also every thing that the MC do is like a world changing event, but then on the later part of the story the author make it as if it only mater in the region where the action happen. the one example that i'm still reading now is Martial God Ashura, i swear that i only read just because i already read up to 1000+ chapter. every time i saw an update it make me feels like "lets get this over with" and i skipped at least half of every chapter because the author keep glorifying the MC making him so special and good just because the author wrote those exact words. the reader dont want to know reading sentences after sentences in every chapter about how special the MC was. it would have been a best case scenario if the reader was mesmerized by the story about the MC action and adventure to the point that they think like " wow, the MC is awesome".