Novel The Gods Reincarnation(My 1st novel draft)

Hey guys, this is my first novel.
Hope yall read it till the end (Its quite long), then criticize me.
Pls tell me both the pros and the cons.

Sypnopsis:
A god reincarnated in another world by a god from another world.
A God's death is the end? No, I found myself reincarnated to another world. And with this chance I shall start my life anew or so the goddess of this world wants to destroy my peaceful life.

Chapter 1

= Clang! Bang! Clang!...=
A person clad in red fluttered across a battlefield. The rhythm of the clashing sounds produced by his twin blades were like a lively symphony. The battlefield flashed with bright red and opponents fell to the ground in a spray of blood.
"Hah...hah." Loki breathed heavily as he lifted his hand to take the bag of water that was hanging in his waist. Together with his water he brought out a piece of saggy bread and ate it in the middle of the battlefield, but soon enough Loki continued to battle, brandishing his blades and striking his opponents, not in the very least shaken.
After the battlefield cleared, only a person clad in ragged armor with his twin blades in both hands stands in the middle of the battlefield staring at the reddish sky. Right when he was about to rest, a portal suddenly appeared with a 'wrrrr' sound.
Loki didn’t look so surprised as if he knew what was coming. Not long after the portal appeared, a beautiful woman came out of the portal. Long silver hair, bright blue eyes, pale skin and a slender body can make any mortal fall for her, but not Loki because both people there are gods.
"How long?" <Loki>
"Ten years." Arte replied simply.
"..."
"This is your best record yet Loki! The last time you cleaned Hel took you 20 years. So..." Arte quickly spoke to avoid awkwardness but it seems to be of no avail.
"Why are you here?" Loki coldly replied.
"I know that Hades comes and greets you here but this time it’s different because the gods wants to send a reward to you for your hard work." <Arte>
"Am I being set free?" Loki spoke in a harsh tone.
"..." Arte shakes her head.
"I see... then what’s the reward?"
"A 1st-tier Fenrir Class!" Arte spoke in a prideful tone.
Loki for the first in many years felt surprised and shaken with the given weapon. A 1st-tier Fenrir Class weapon is a type of weapon that is so strong that it can even kill gods, leading it to be called a God eater.
[This may be the key to free me from the gates of Hel!... No it can’t.] Loki thought he can escape but knowing that he was given a godly weapon there must be a catch.
"A God eater given to me... what’s the catch?" Loki spoke in a calm manner.
"Haha... of course there is, the weapon is programed to be only of use in this gate of Hel and once it leaves this gate it will self-destruct along with its owner... you, even though you can’t go out so what’s there to worry. At least that’s what the gods said up there." <Arte>
"They still want me to fight forever... "
"..."
Seeing Arte being quiet and seems reluctant about something, knowing that they have known each other for the longest time, "What’s wrong? Just spit it out will you." Loki asked.
"Listen Loki, I... this is the last time I'm visiting you..."
"..."
"I'm sorry but I can’t wait for you any longer... Elder sister has given me a chance and Igfrid has offered his hand in marriage to save my family... I'm sorry."
"Then please give me the weapon and leave."
"I'm sorry." Arte with her both hands took a majestic silver spear out of the portal and handed it closer to Loki. But before she can hand it over to Loki, 'Bang!' Loki was now holding both of her hands, not knowing what to do she looked up to see his face and was shocked. She couldn’t see his face clearly due to his long hair but now that she is close she can see his face:
Anger, sadness, envy, hate, contempt, rage and regret was evident in his eyes. Arte couldn’t move due to the shock and only can look Loki in the face. "Ah..aha...ahh" Arte tried to say something but somehow cant, she can only see the suffering of the person she used to love right in front of her.
"It’s ok... It’s not your fault, just think about this as one your sacred hunts." Loki spoke as his body grew closer to Arte's body like they are a breath away.
"Hunt? What do you mean by hun...!?" As Arte was talking she felt that her hands were forcibly moved on an instant and the next thing she knew was that Loki was impaled by the spear.
"Guuhhhkk!" Blood spilled out of Loki's mouth as he thrust the spear deeper into his abdomen and slowly lost consciousness.
[Finally... I am free from all my suffering. Ah, she's crying? I never thought she woul... nevermind, of course she would cry we've been together for a millennia, a pity... dammit.]
"Hah...hah...hah" Loki, still conscious, breathed slowly as he tried to lift his hand to her watery cheeks but life ended quickly and his hands dropped cold.

XXX

{O weary soul, I took pity on thee. I have given you a chance to start anew.}
A voice resounded in my head.
[I see, so I really died...who are you? What kind of god are you? I haven’t heard of you before.]
{I am a being who governs all other beings, simply I am Goddess. You people thought that you were gods but all of you are simply higher beings to mortals and lower beings to me. You don’t need to concern yourself with other useless matters. All you must know that is you are being reincarnated.}
Oi oi oi Goddess you are simply being too cruel, I retorted.
[...So where and what will I be reincarnated to?]
I immediately accepted my fate.
{A planet called Gaius, it has water and earth similar to you and your fellow gods’ planet, Earth.}
[So is it the same as my world, Earth?]
Loki asked cautiously.
{Humans can use magic and monsters and demons roam the lands, but the technology there is far behind from your world. Simply put, it’s not a modern era for you people.}
[Hoh, so it’s like our past golden age back then where men use swords and shields but with magic now. Interesting.] I said cheerfully.
{But be warned, in this world humans can even surpass gods like you.}
[Sorry Goddess, but I’m planning to live a fulfilling life where I will find a good job, a wife, have some kids and enjoy the rest of my life, that is all. I’m tired of living a life cycle of war and peace where peace is a rare commodity.]
{Oho, I leave that to you. Since it’s almost time, I already set up most your status, all you have to do is open your [status window] and fill up some information and allocate your status points. I’m being generous today so I’ll give you twice the status points a normal mortal has. Be thankful, I’ll let you be for now.}
Oi Goddess aren’t you way up on your horse.* I again retorted.
[Status open] A light blue window appeared in front of me with words and skills inside of it when I said the word in my mind. I quickly looked at the window and saw my status:
~
Name: ? Race: Ancient Human* Age: 16
HP: 100/100 MP: 50/50
Job: ?
Lv: 1
Str: 40 Int: 40
Agi: 40 Vit: 40
Dex: 40 Luc: 40
SP: 100
Skills: ?
Titles: <Fallen God> <Reincarnated Being> <Blessing of God> <God Killer>
~
As soon as I opened my status window a hologram appeared and it seems that the hologram is my avatar. I had green hair and eyes in my past life but my avatar has black hair and hazel eyes, it reminds me of my god friend, Izanami, an eastern god.
Name... hmmm, it’s hard to think of one. I’ll just mix something with my name for no hassle. Next is my job, the choices given were: Swordsman, Berserker, Paladin, Knight, Healer, Huntsman, Dancer, Thief, Tamer, Monk, Merchant, Magician, Artist, Chef, Alchemist, Herbalist, Farmer...
I’ll just pick a swordsman to play it safe, I can be an adventurer then retire early and build a bar to settle down. Then skills for the swordsman, I quickly chose to allocate points to [dual wielding], [sword technique], [critical hit], and [power combo] so that I can use them, the rest I can get when I reach a certain level. I allocated five points each to the skills and use the rest for the attributes. To level up skills is to increase your mastery of it and to promote skills you need certain skill points to promote it, the required promotion is fifty skill points which is quite huge so I decided to not focus on my skills and rather go thru my attributes.
I gave 10sp to Strength, Intelligence, Vitality and Dexterity and 20sp to Agility and Luck. I rather be fast and lucky to get favor or escape in certain situations. Thus concluded my Avatar, [Status window]:
~
Name: Floki Race: Ancient Human* Age: 16
HP: 100/100 MP: 50/50
Job: Swordsman (+ 5 Str) Mastery: 0%
Lv: 1
Str: 40 ~ 50 + 5 Int: 40 ~ 50
Agi: 40 ~ 60 Vit: 40 ~ 50
Dex: 40 ~ 50 Luc:40 ~ 60
SP: 0
Skills: [Dual wielding] [Sword technique] [Critical hit] [Power combo]
Titles: <Fallen God> <Reincarnated Being> <Blessing of God> <God Killer>
~
Satisfied with my status window, I quickly called out to Goddess-san.
[Yosh! Goddess-san I'm ready!]
Feeling a bit excited with my new life, I ready myself and decided to face forward to my new life forgetting about my past life.
{~Ara, You sure are excited...uhm...Floki-kun...pfft! Hahaha!}
Oi aren’t you a Goddess!? You just did a full 180...
{Omg! You just added 'F' to your name...Hahaha!}
[Wha..Whats wrong with that!? Floki is a cool name just so you know.]
I felt embarrassed and somewhat angry at Goddess-san.
{Anyways I'll give you two parting gifts for your new life, first is this...}
'THUD!'
I felt something hard hit my head and I was amazed with what that 'THUD' gave me.
[This is... the world's knowledge and language.]
I felt amazed.
{Please don’t rely on the knowledge I've given you, it’s just basic knowledge not common sense. And here’s the second gift...}
A flash of light appeared in my eyes and soon after a pair of blades came out of the light. I instantly knew that it was my past weapon.
[Sigyn...]
My weapon’s name, a chained twin-blade sword, Sigyn. Its two beautifully carved blades bound by a chain connected in each hilt and covered in red and black color, truly a beautiful piece made by my deceased friend, Baldur.
{Apologies, it seems you can’t still use the weapon, you must clear certain conditions to be able to use this weapon. And don’t be so distraught. When you meet the conditions to be able to wield this weapon, you will have your hands on a 1st-tier Fenrir class weapon.}
[I understand...]
I am undoubtedly super happy inside, hel yeah!
{It seems that our time is up, I have to send you to your new life.}
[Thank you for everything!]
I said it with all my heart.
{Fufufu...Farewell, O weary soul...Pfft I mean Floki...Hahaha!}
This goddess... Seriously?
{May we meet again...}
A flashed off light appeared under my feet, seems like a magic circle. Then I was suddenly blinded by a bright light and when I opened them I find myself drowning in water.

XXX

"Mmmffff...Glugluglug!?"
I was surprised and panicked a bit but quickly regain my composure and started to swim up the water. When I reached the surface I quickly gasped for air and started to check my surroundings, I checked my north "Nothing there..." then my south "Nothing there either." and then my east and west "Nope... Just my luck..."
[Oi! Goddess-san! What the hel were you thinking! Sending me to another world in the middle of the ocean...]
I shouted in my mind.
"I should have good luck, my luck attribute is quite above average. I should’ve have been lucky..."
I closed my eyes and let my back rest in the water, I just thought that it would be best that the current would guide me and leave the rest to luck.
[Luck-san, I'm counting on you...]
When I thought that my day would get any worse, a shadow quickly covered my body and the waves started moving a bit faster. I knew that my luck was just a hoax and I think goddess san is making fun of me, why of all times a storm?!
I soon open my eyes but to my surprise it was not a storm but a boat. A medium sized fishing boat, you can tell it’s a fishing boat because of the nets and buoys hanging at the side of the boat. I caught a glimpse of the name of the boat [Seoyun], a weird name for a boat I thought it would be more like [HMS Titanic] or [Andromeda]. Anyway I thank Luck-san for bringing me this boat.
"What yere doin ere boy?" A rough old male voice interrupted.
Before I can even answer a rope was thrown down to me.
"Come up ere before you catch a cold."
I quickly grabbed on and climbed up the rope. When I got on the boat, it was surprisingly wide and well maintained, I expected it to be more savvy*. As I looked more closely there seems to be writing in the sails and different parts of the boat, I personally think that it’s a type of magical device but it didn’t quite peek my interest because the one that peeks my interest was a middle-age man with scars in his face with a well-built body staring intently at me.
"Uhm... Thank you for saving me." I musn’t forget to say my thanks, though it’s hard for me to do so.
"So wer you from boy? Why wer you in the middle of the ocean huh? Oh dry up first, dont wanna catch a cold do we..." He handed me a large blanket.
[Though he looks scary, he's actually kind huh?] I thought to myself.
"Thanks... My name is Floki, I’m from a secluded village past this waters." I immediately told a lie because saying that I’m from another world brought by a Goddess may bring disaster to my new peaceful life.
"I went out of my village since it was my coming of age, I decided to go out to the world." As I remembered from the knowledge that Goddess-san gave me, the coming of age starts at the age of 16.
"Hmmmm..." The rough person seems to buy it.
"But it doesn’t explains that why were you stranded at sea." A girl from the background spoke, seems like she’s part of the crew and this man in front of me is the captain. The girl was tall, slightly taller than me, she has dark skin and a red pony-tailed hair. But her eyes, dyed by the ocean and her well-proportioned body are definitely her best points.
"Ah... I got swept up by a huge storm and lost my boat." I immediately find an excuse hoping they won’t find me too suspicious.
"Ohhhh, the storm a day ago just past by here, it was a huge one! You are lucky to be alive you know that." The girl looked shocked.
[Thank the goddess! Thank you luck-san!]
Seems like the flow of events fits my alibi.
"Ah I forgot, my name is Calyp, a deckhand, and this scary bear over here is the captain, Berhold, but dont be fooled he's actually a teddy-type." The girl immediately introduced herself.
"Aye, I’m Berhold, capt'n of this ship 'Seoyun'. And Calyp shut yer trap!" Berhold replied not long after while scolding Calyp.
"I'm Floki, pleasure to meet you all." I greeted the whole crew with a smile.
"So wat yer plannin to do for now since you lost your equipment and necessities?" Berhold asked.
"Oh about that, I’m planning to register at an adventurers’ guild as an adventurer and start earning some gold and about the equipment... huh?" I realized that I wasn’t holding my weapon 'Sigyn'. I started to panic because ever since I came to this world I wasn’t holding any weapon.
[Did that stupid goddess even handed down me the weapon...] I thought to myself.
I remembered back then that she just directly sent me to this world without handing down the weapon.
[That stupid goddess...] I quickly fell to a depression.
Seeing my depressed state, Berhold and Calyp knew what the problem was and quickly consoled me.
"I don’t know how much of importance is yer equipment but the important thing ere is that you’re alive and safe, so chins up and chest held high boy. And don’t worry about it anymore cause when we get back to the port I'll be the one buying yer equipment and necessities so that you will be ready for the road." Berhold calmly said.
[Berhold.....no, Berhold-dono] He is really kind, I thought
"Yep yep don’t worry about it but if you’re one of those people that has that 'Inter-spatial magic' then you would have no trouble at all, we normal people only have 'status window' which is actually pretty useless besides updating you of your progress. Man...Only few number of people have that type of 'Storage box', they really have it easy." Calyp replied.
Now that I remembered, the knowledge that the goddess gave me mentioned something about a [Storage box]. All I have to do, is to think about it and the storage window will appear.
[Storage box] I said in my head.
To my surprise, a light blue window appeared and it is really my [Storage box]. It showed me the items that I have and I felt relieve when I saw the weapon 'Sigyn' in my [Storage box] but what actually surprises me is that there is a bit more items in my storage box.

~
[Storage Box]
(Capacity: 0.5%)
100Wg [White-gold coins]
1000g [Gold coins]
Dual Blades 'Sigyn' [1st-tier Fenrir Class]
Barley Bread x 5
Water pouch x 1
~
As I looked at my gold but seeing the quantity of it feels too much, even though I lack common sense, especially the white gold coins just feels dangerous. And the capacity too, 0.5%? Is my storage that big?!
Since I’m hungry, I reached inside my storage window and thought [Barley bread] and when I felt something, I pulled out my hand with the barley bread with it. I ate the bread with no hesitation since I know that the storage box preserves the items in their current state with no expiration, the so called perfect refrigerator.
As I continued eating, I glanced at Calyp beside me. She had that shocking look and when I looked at Berhold, his eyes were wide open staring at me.
[I screwed up.]
Due to how much of a glutton I am, accompanied with my hungry outburst, I took the bread from the [Storage box] with no hesitation. And being a bread maniac also plays a part in it.
[Shit... How can I explain this?]
"Ehhh?! Tha..that...that’s a storage box!" Calyp clearly shaken.
"Floki, you can use 'Inter-spatial magic'?" Berhold asked.
I panicked as I thought on how to get out of this situation.
"Yes, I have the 'Storage box' skill though I always forgot to keep it as a secret due to my hunger haha...ha. I know people will make a fuss about it and give me unnecessary trouble if I flaunt my skill around, though its nothing to brag about because the capacity of my storage is actually really small." I said my excuse in a straight while convincing face.
"Oh!" Both Berhold and Calyp answered in unison sounding convinced.
[Am I really that convincing?] I thought to myself.
"So that’s why yer equipment got lost even though ya got the 'storage box'. Sorry for losing my face back there." Berhold quickly apologize.
Truly a kind person. Berhold-dono is gaining quickly on my favorable side, he is a man.
"Sorry Floki-kun...for being an unnecessary trouble..." Calyp looking depressed. Looks like she took what I said to heart. Somehow this made me happy.
"Hahaha! It’s ok Calyp-san and I dont mean you by the way." I laughed it off to make her feel at ease.
"Really?" Calpy said while pouting.
"Really."
"Then let me treat you once we get back to the port." Calyp offered.
"Then I'll take your offer but instead of treating me, I would like you to teach me about the country were going to."
"Sure!" Calyp said with a big smile.
I smiled back and continued to converse with Calyp and Berhold while going back to their hometown.

XXX

<Port town - Galleo>
"Fish! Fresh Fish! Fresh Fish for sale!"
Travelling to Getsa Town! Getsa Town!
Hiring Deckhands! Good wage and free rations!
The bustling sound of vendors and traders fills the atmosphere of the port, merchants with goods parked their boats and unloads their boxes, while returning sailors go straight to bars just right across the boats to cure their weary hearts and come back later in a drunken haze. Restaurants too fit in this crowded atmosphere, serving fresh seafood while bands, singers and dancers take the street to entertain the people eating, truly a lively and busy port.
"Wow! I never seen a port this lively before, for a port there seems to be a lot of people?" I exclaimed. We've arrived at the port half a day later since they got me from sea, it was already close to evening since the sun is about to set, a mixture of orange yellow and blue dyes the sky, really a beautiful atmosphere, I thought as we walk down the street.
"Hehe, you don’t know Floki-kun but this port is not only a port but also a town! Port town Galleo!" Calyp said pridefully. She must have been raised here since birth, she really takes pride in her hometown.
"This is Port-town Galleo, Floki. Since we’re one of the main ports of travel and trading we grew and expanded, and then traders, merchants and a lot of people hoping for a good life came ere to live in this port. Then we were recognize as a town soon after." Berhold simply explained.
"So I expect a lot of lively things around here." I laughed.
"Not all lively things are good ya know." Berhold replied, looking somewhat tired.
"Huh?" Not knowing why he said that, I became confused.
"Ara... Seems like trouble again... look there Floki-kun." Calyp pointed out in her direction.
A group of 3 armed looking men, surrounding a person in cloak in the middle of the streets can be seen. I immediately realize what Berhold said, that lively things especially in a town where business and commerce is thriving, there is bound to be some trouble. I hastily walked closer to get a better gist of the situation, Berhold and Calyp quickly followed.
I immediately listened to their conversation.
"Oi oi oi! Where do you think you're going li'l one hehe." An armed bandit with a bandana spoke to the cloaked person. "Do you think that you can get away without paying us the right amount for protecting you until here?" The bandit continued.
"..." The cloaked person didn’t respond.
"Hmmm, silence huh? I'll just tell you this, two of my men were injured and their equipment got damaged because of what we've been through going here. And I'm not gonna let you walk away even though you paid the fixed price." The bandana bandit walked closer with his two colleagues encircling the cloaked person.
"You thought we didn't see your high grade equipment under your cloak, I got one hell of a thief skill, you know that?" One of the bandit's colleague spoke.
"We'll let you free if you pay 5x the amount of the fixed price hehehe. Don’t blame us li'l one, it’s the duty of the rich to give money to the poor and needy, right?" The bandana bandit spoke.
[It’s obviously a scam!] I shouted in my head.
I really want to leave and not let myself get entangled in this kind of troubling situation but seeing that going on in public really makes my head boil.
[Anyway, I can test my skills...] I've decided and quickly walk towards the direction of the bandits.
But a hand immediately grabbed my shoulder and it was a strong grip, it was Berhold.
"Don't, it’s not our business. I don't know about your culture in your village but in this country common sense is to don't let yourself get absorbed by someone else’s business." Berhold warned me.
"Don't go Floki-san! I got a feeling that you're only a level 1 person. You'll only get hurt..." Calyp also warned me.
"Hehe, you're right that I'm only level one in swordsmanship but its ok, I can handle it." I decided not to give an explanation on why I'm helping the cloaked person out. Though I can explain why but I get a feeling there is something else. I moved closer to the bandits and they immediately noticed it but they soon turn their attention back to the cloaked person.
[Ara, it seems their ignoring me... must be how I look.] I was wearing a simple grey shirt and a slim fit brown pants with black shoes, it seems I lack presence and not worthy of their attention.
"Hey guys, can you leave that person alone? You're all causing trouble you know that..."
"Scram kid! You don’t know who you’re dealing with here or else you wanna die?" One of the bandits interjected.
The bandits looked back at me but soon after focus their attention to the cloaked person again.
"I really hate violence but pretending I'm just a piece of thrash pisses me off..." 'Whooosh!' I immediately ran towards the bandit in full speed.
"Ararara, what do we have here? A little chick trying to be a hero?" The bandit noticed and brandishes his sword ready to strike me down.
I grew closer to him and I was already at his striking range then I heard a 'Wrrnngg!' sound.
"Die!!" The bandit shouted as he swings his sword at me.
I slid and rolled towards him, dodging his sword barely. Without a waste of a single breath, I landed right behind him and noticed the hidden short blade sheathed in his back.
"Huh? Wha-!"
Without a moment of hesitation and not letting him getting a chance to breathe, I took the blade and sliced up his upper leg where a large artery is located.
"Arrggghh!" He shouted and quickly bent down. The bandit panicked upon seeing the blood gushing out of his leg, leaving him open to danger.
Using that chance in his weakened state, I swiftly used my blade's hilt to strike his head from behind, with a 'thud' sound the bandit was laying on the ground unconscious.
The whole area became silent, the two bandits and even Berhold and Calyp were silent looking at me. I too was silent, my whole mind was going blank. It feels like something is emerging from my insides.
[Ah...This nostalgic feeling.] <Floki>
"Berhold...this feeling..its... we gotta stop him!" Calyp shouted at Berhold.
"Bloodlust" Berhold replied looking quite serious.
The two bandits were in shock, the first one to speak was the bandana bandit.
"Heh... You really did defeat him. Hey! What’s your name?" The bandana bandit asked.
"..."
"Hmmm? Not talking? Why is everyone so silent today huh!? You got some nerves to fight with some level 2 fighters. Listen here kid, bloodlust isn’t enough to win a fight, you know that right?" The bandana bandit continued.
"..."
"Sigh... he's not listening. You there! You only got lucky cause that bastard laying over there got cocky! This time you'll die for real. Leader this is my fight! So don’t disturb me!" The thief bandit said while brandishing his knife.
"Crush him!" The bandana bandit shouted with a laugh.
"Yarrrgghhh!"The thief bandit immediately clashes with Floki completely suppressing him.
'Clang! Clash! Clang!'
Sounds from the clashing blades resonates in the atmosphere. Floki who is defending with his blade from the rapid attacks of the thief bandit suffers from a new wound every second. The bandit continued with his rapid attacks and each attack gets slightly faster.
"Berhold-san!" Calyp started shouting at Berhold telling him to help Floki.
"..." Berhold didn’t replied but despite his silence, he clenches his fist and positions himself to be able to help Floki when he is in grave danger.
The fight continued for a while and Floki covered in wounds still stands in defense position. "Ha...hah...hah..." The thief bandit getting tired and losing patience moves back to get some distance and rest.
"Hehehe...hah..hah you're good, You kno-?!" The thief bandit spoke but was interrupted by a charging Floki. The thief rolled and just dodged right in time to avoid Floki's charge stab.
"You prick! Die!!" The thief bandit who was at Floki's behind slashes his nape but to his surprise it missed.
"What th-!?" The thief shouted and again was soon interrupted by Floki from below.
Floki stabbed his blade to the upper part of the thief's bandit leg, just right beside the groin. Not stopping there, Floki pulled the blade down to his knee cap, opening up a huge cut in his leg. Not giving the thief bandit time to shout, Floki punched the thief in the face knocking him out cold.
"..."
Floki, covered in his own blood, again just stands there in silence looking at the bandana bandit blankly but with extreme bloodlust. After a few seconds the bandana bandit appeared in front of Floki and kicks his chest without hesitation, plunging him to a wall and breaking a few of his ribs.
"You... You defeated my men... How are you gonna pay for it?!!" The bandana bandit shouted.
"...Guhhhkkk!" Floki spits out blood.
Seeing the situation, Berhold and Calyp tensed up.
"He's actually level 3?!" Calyp looking shocked. She immediately stared at Berhold knowing that he can do something.
"I guess it’s just too much for him." Berhold replied.
"It’s already too much for him since the beginning!" Calyp shouted.
"Ok, I’ll stop the fi- Wait..." Before Berhold made his move he saw the face of Floki, and he was showing a big grin. This shook Berhold to the spine. "A beast" he immediately thought.
In that moment Floki stood up and ran towards the bandit. Before he ran, he took the thief bandit’s knife and equipped it on his right with the short blade on his left hand. The bandana bandit who saw this took out his claymore, a long and heavy blade, at his back and brandished it at the charging Floki. He struck in a downward manner hoping for a 1-hit kill.
'Clannngg!!' A large sound revertebrated the atmosphere.
"What!!" The bandit was surprised. Floki blocked his blade by doing a scissor block but it was too much and his left arm burst with blood rendering his left arm useless. Both his blades broke from the impact but it didn’t stop Floki from attacking, he swiftly stabs the broken blade at the bandits left arm and twist it after he stabs it.
"You damn brat!" The bandana bandit was enraged and swung his sword with his right hand but without the support of his left it missed Floki. Floki quickly jumped out of the way and with all his might, kicked the leg joint of the bandit in the side and dislocated his left leg.
"Arrrrgggghhhhhh!!!" The bandit shouted in pain.
Floki then used a palm strike below the bandit’s chin to finish it all off. The bandit’s body fell like a tree and the only left standing is a boy covered with blood staring at the evening sky.
"Floki!!" Calyp immediately ran towards Floki followed by a laughing Berhold.
And finally the boy succumbed to his wound and fell.

​

 

This feels like a translated novel...

Also, too many conversations. In english it is better to keep less conversations but more actions, like areas such as:
"How long?" <Loki>
"Ten years." Arte replied simply.
"..."
"This is your best record yet Loki! The last time you cleaned Hel took you 20 years. So..." Arte quickly spoke to avoid awkwardness but it seems to be of no avail.
"Why are you here?" Loki coldly replied.
"I know that Hades comes and greets you here but this time it’s different because the gods wants to send a reward to you for your hard work." <Arte>
"Am I being set free?" Loki spoke in a harsh tone.
"..." Arte shakes her head.
"I see... then what’s the reward?"
"A 1st-tier Fenrir Class!" Arte spoke in a prideful tone.

Perhaps something like:

"How long?" Loki asked. He looked at Arte with his eyebrows raised.
Arte simply replied, "Ten years." She did not need to see his face to know that Loki was stunned. Then she added, "This is your best record yet, Loki! The last time you cleaned Hel it took you twenty years! So..."
Yet it seemed to no avail, and Loki gazed at her coldly. "Why are you here?" His tone was harsh.

Add more action to let the reader imagine more...

Well that's just my advice Also it's better to refrain from the.. ''Nyahhh~" and "-kun" stuff

 

Hahaha sorry about the kun and stuff. And idk why it feel like a translated novel?
How about the story? And thanks for the advice, i'll be sure to apply it.

 

I don't know.. maybe the sound effects like Clang bang clang and the structure of some sentences make it feel that way.
And many of your paragraphs are really short and numerous..

To be honest I am not a fan of game elements in a story so I didn't entirely read it... but it seems alright so far.

 

Thanks Farrow for your honest opinion cause this is my first time and im kinda shaky so....

 

You should make a wordpress site or post this on royalroadl if you do plz post a link here

 

Thanks for the advice, I was planning to go to rrl but I wanted to post it here first to get some exposure. Is it bad to post it here without linking it?
What did you think of the story?

 

The story is good..I love it..hehe

 

Thanks Haze, Im kinda scared here cause idk if my story is good or not. What part did you love?

 

Tbh i don't really understand the synopsis and need a bit to improve for the grammar. For the character introduction its not really good and the sound like clang wrnggg i think you need to change it . But Overall the story is not bad. Good job xD

 

Ero loves it…
Continue -nods wisely-

 

Tnx Rimuru, Yeah the grammar is kinda rough but the sounds are kinda hard to make so can you give an example? Hehe sorry for asking much but im happy that the story is good. Thank you very much.

 

I Love you too Ero for loving it!

 

I love the part Floki fighting with the bandits. Not sure whether he conscious or without conscious while fighting, but i love it.

 

Yeah he was on "Bloodlust mode" so he lost consciousness but he is still moving, thats why I changed the point of view in that part.

 

I hope you will continue the story..Do your best...

 

Hahaha thanks haze I will follow you. Truthfully I already have 2 chapters in the editing grammar phase.
With this kind of support especially from you, Haze, I can do my utmost best.

 

@Rake well.... It feels like a dialog to me....
And Loki does not sound very godly....
It would be best if you give your own back ground for the characters.
Of course if you are going for the light hearted routed I can't help much.
I read like I Shall Seal The Heavens.

 

Hehe thanks Hato, I was planning to give background to the characters on later chapters and im focusing on the new world.
Yeah my story feels like a dialougue(my writing style?). Well loki is a norse god.
I will put your words to heart, thanks again haha.

 

Dun make references with movies....
In movies Gods are glorified mortals.....
A real god should have the strength to turn the whole solar system to dust with a glare.