The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System fan fiction

I am back

Looks at all the updates~~~
Oh more face-slapping in the future

 

***
ATDSVT
***
Three weeks ago, some idiot cultivators from one of the minor sects had tried to break into what they thought was Cang Qiong's Qing Jing. In the dead of night.

To be precise, they tried to break into the largest, most imposing buildings they first caught sight of. The Qing Jing dormitories.

Those very same dormitories were where the unclaimed survivors of the Beizi had been taken to, after their families had refused to take them back. They were also full of outer sect disciples who had grown very very protective of the former victims in question.

Outer sect disciples with truly excellent aim, who now had been trained to take out large, ferocious and enraged mythical and mystical beasts.

The moment that the fools in question broke into the building after using a qi technique, the poor girl living in the room they were breaking into, began screaming in terror.

The dorms boiled over, the many outer sect disciples and fellow rescuees and even the guests who had been staying there at the time were all awakened by the scream and quickly grabbed the nearest weapons, no matter how unorthodox and headed towards the scene of the crime at full speed.

The first those idiot cultivators from the minor sect learned of it, was the reinforced stoneware crockery being thrown at them by several of the traumatized and screaming people who had good aim.

The next was the massive water jars that bowled one of the invaders over. Then the nearest vases were broken over the head of the second. Then it was a horrible and anticlimactic beatdown.

The bruised, battered and thoroughly robbed cultivators who had broken in had their bones broken in return and then had been taken to Yue Qingyuan since he was closest to them.

Neither he nor the Qing Jing Peak lord were much amused by this and the sect those idiots had come from were taken to account in public by a very angry sect master of a much larger sect. While forty eight witnesses all testified about the break in of the young girl's room.

The speed with which their own sect disowned them was heartbreaking to the now disowned 'righteous' cultivators whose cultivations were now crippled (like their bodies) and stripped from them.

After that, Qing Jing's peak lord proclaimed that they were now switching to much more lethal defenses.

In his own words, "If some flower thieves don't come back home after they try to pull their shit in our territory, well, that's their own goddamn fault. Cang Qiong is not going to put up with this shit."

Two weeks later, that sect's most arrogant elders, heroes and most promising senior disciples were wiped out in what the viewers on the scene judged to be a provincial power struggle gone horribly wrong.

There was no evidence of outside involvement.

A drone shaped like a mosquito, much like its many brothers, had already flown away from the scene of the crime.

***

 

***
ATDSVT
***
That previous incident had all but decapitated the Azure Heavenly Sect.

Next, there had been an incident a week and a half ago wherein Enlai himself had foiled an attempted break in. Again.

Having been out of patience after spending way too much goddamn time punting perverts off their peak, and having recognized these particular imbeciles as being from another minor sect of righteous cultivators instead of the evil sect cultivators he normally had to punt, he dragged them into the nearest big city with one of that minor sect's halls to declaim in a public place about their goddamn chrysanthemum thieving debauchery attempts.

In his own words, "Bad enough I have to fend off evil sect perverts, but now even these so called righteous sect cultivators have started trying to break into our homes too?! Melancholy Sky Sect, what the goddamn hell have you been teaching these three?!"

Behind him, in full view of the stunned populace, the three idiots he had caught had started humping each other.

In full view of their hall's newly arrived officials.

Enlai turned around, caught sight of the men in question doing an interesting 'catterpillar dance' and covered his face with his hands. "I cannot even. Even here?!"

"Those perverse fools aren't ours!" exploded the now red faced and shamed sect elder who had been unfortunate enough to recognize one of his own family's members.

Those idiots had a lot of things to answer for, shaming them in public!

Enlai being Enlai, demanded that some kind of punishment be issued. Another three protesting idiots lost their cultivations and official positions.

Two days later, the sect's more rapacious and dishonorable elders, those prone to using pressure on the populace, died in their sleep after their hearts gave out on them. They were buried with all due respects normally given to elders... after a firm examination.

There was no evidence of foul play.

Three so-called heroes and some young masters who had been full of themselves and prone to pressuring or taking whatever they wanted from people under the protection of the sect lost their lives as well in what viewers felt were various freak accidents, while they were making trouble for another righteous sect's students.

 

big brother is watching you all~
yesss... even in the bathroom~

 

some awesome weaponry there ~~

 

Who is online?

 

raises hand ~

 

***
ATDSVT
***
Ao Jiang's life was ruined.

Once one of the most handsome and promising heroes of his sect, he had lost his legs to the concealed lava pit that had burnt the skin clean off, and then clung to his flesh, burning that too.

He managed to get himself out, but the pain... oh gods, the pain...

He had screamed in agony for what felt like hours, but none of his companions came for him.

As the eyes of the beasts glowing in the forest had grown in number, he had tried to lever himself up and keep crawling away from them, cold sweat covering him in terror.

He still had his arms but the sheer number of beasts he could sense made it very clear. He was going to die here. They could afford to wait for him. He may have had plenty of qi, but they outnumbered him. If not devoured by wolves, then perhaps he would die by rats.

And it was as he had expected. The wolves* came first, circling him. To his horror, the accursed creatures had learned to dodge his spiritual energy blasts and his other techniques... and he had lost his weapons and other belongings to the quicksand pit they had lost Mu Gang to.

The blow to the back of his neck sent him spiraling into darkness.
***
Dying by quicksand is a horrible experience. Particularly since this wasn't natural quicksand.

Natural quicksand wasn't that deep, and normally if someone didn't move, they could float on it.

But no. This was artificial quicksand, made out of mineral compounds that were designed to act like the quicksand in movies. It had been set up that way specifically to force cultivators to give up their belongings to get away. More than once, Wu Gui or one of his fellow disciples had used doton to fish out some idiot bandit or cultivator's valuables.

Today, what was fished out was the terrified, exhausted, weeping Mu Gang, who vomited sandy water over and over, laying helplessly on the ground, all the defiance and qi drained out of him. Trussing him up and knocking him out had been easy.

In truth, he had at least been better off than the other fools who fell into the tar pits.

Those morons generally got parts of them eaten by real beasts.
***
Wu Guen's loss of his legs to the acid pit was the worst event of his life.

A cultivator who lost his legs or arms was considered a cripple. No longer a threat, no longer a valuable resource to his sect. From being one of the handsome, valued heroes with his pick of admiring maidens, he was now rendered into trash. Even with his cultivation, no one would ever take him seriously.

Had he lost his arms too, he may as well have been human swine. He regretted coming here, regretted assuming that raiding Cang Qiong would ever be easy. Regretted everything!

Why had he even assumed that one of
the big four sects could be infiltrated by a lesser sect? He had been blinded by his sect's previous victory over the Grey Melancholy Sect and his own previous looting of valuable items from fellow cultivators from other sects.

The big four sects had held sway for a reason. They were the largest, the strongest, the best trained. The most valiant. The most well known.

How could his own small sect think to bring them down would not come with a cost, one that he now had to pay?
***

*not actually real wolves, btw. Ao Jiang's not seeing them in good lighting.

 

*raises flowering branch* I'm back from sulking at having my gender mistaken by Nuffians my busy week at work *sips Darjeeling tea*

 

I'm working on the next post which will involve tubers.

 

Tubers? *gets flashback on playing Hadaka Shitsuji*

 

I just googled it and apparently it has shitty reviews.

Waiting for someone to beta read my next post before the tubers, lol

 

***
ATDSVT
***

The problem as far as Zhao Fu was concerned, was that Shizun was too kind to the raiders.

Since he hated mutilation, he tended to haul the idiots out of the tar pits, acid pits and lava pits. Then it was either he put the morons out of their misery quickly or he checked to see if they came from a sect, and then hauled them over to Liu Qingge to deal with.

Zhao Fu was pissed off.

Zhao Fu was tired of having to haul morons out of their traps. It wasn't fun, it was routine and it was incredibly annoying.

For Wang An and Heiying, it was not much better.

Actually most of the Qing Jing inner sect was stewing in rage by now, for the same reason.

The evil sect members, well, no one mourned when Liu Qingge, or Shizun or the disciples themselves killed them. It was the so-called 'righteous' sect imbeciles that were pissing them off.

Aoguang, naturally, was their best ally in this. Because he had less patience than Heiying or Wanyong.

The times Shizun had sent some of those idiots to Liu Qingge to be dealt with, he had actually bothered to try to repair their lost body parts even though his students' strenuous protests filled the room.

It was all a waste, really, because a very annoyed Liu Qingge did not enjoy his now increased workload after Cang Qiong rose further in renown.

The people he tended to return to their sects tended to be beaten to within an inch of their lives, and he was rather loud in his condemnation of the fools who came raiding.

The problem of course was that there were more and more idiots around.

In principle and in deed, Liu Qingge was all for execution of all evil sect raiders but even he was getting really, really frustrated at the upsurge of imbeciles from 'righteous' sects that weren't really righteous in action. Sects that claimed to be righteous but would gladly loot treasures from the bodies of fellow cultivators. Sects, that even Liu Qingge was starting to notice, had no respect for Cang Qiong. And the other big three weren't getting involved.

Well, the inner sect disciples were getting tired of putting up with it.

Shizun too, was getting very, very frustrated, though he kept telling the inner sect disciples to let him handle this.

Shizun. Shizun, you need to start being mean and intimidating and tyrannical, okay? Those sects are being two faced little shits! If only...

If only Yue Qingyuan wasn't so nice that he just stuck to crippling cultivations and demanding reparations from the sects in question.

Of course, unbeknownst to these very inner sect disciples, their peak lord had taken to planning and in several cases, setting up the undetectable assassinations of very annoying elders and so called heroes among the other so-called 'righteous' cultivators.

The problem of course, was that a certain peak lord had been far too circumspect about his actions in hopes of protecting Yue Qingyuan from the fallout of certain groups of idiots being greedy. While Yue Qingyuan was aware of the fools besieging them, he wasn't aware of the sheer number of them. Assassinating only the problematic people also prevented the destruction and deaths of the rest of the so-called righteous sects' members who had not been among those at fault.

***
When it came to female cultivators from righteous sects, the standard practice was to notify their sects, and demand compensation for the foolish behavior and harassment.

In fact, Shizun had already notified the elders of Purple Cloud Chasing Peak Sect of their captured members.

As usual, Shizun had sent to the elders of all sects in the province, the recorded scenes where the stupid girl had threatened Qing Jing disciples and gotten beaten to a pulp for it, with her accomplice, as well as the fools losing their limbs in the acid and lava pits.

As could be expected, the elders didn't want the cripples back. They only asked for the girl and the two uninjured men back.

In the past, in similar situations wherein Shizun had lost his temper, they had simply sent the crippled men back anyway, after sealing up the wounds ...but they were still lacking their lost limbs because regeneration was as everyone knew, expensive.

The previously sent men who were crippled by the traps had miserable lives. (which pleased the inner sect disciples who were watching them for entertainment)

Apparently no one else out there in their sects was as decent as Shizun, and while Shizun probably assumed their sects would take care of them (because of course, Shizun would have healed them and looked after them if they were injured like that!), that was not the case.

They were living reminders that challenging Qing Jing and Cang Qiong had gone horribly wrong and as cripples, were shunned anyway, by their sects. Their previous subordinates who they had persecuted were now persecuting them, a thing which pleased Zhao Fu to no end while he borrowed Sun Jin's scrying crystal to watch it.

Ah, the sight of torment in the morning!

Some of the sects even sent the cripples right back.

Which meant that Shizun generally got saddled with them after they had been used as a display to get the message through to certain provincial idiots. Which meant he generally went on and healed them anyway, after tying them to indentured service to Cang Qiong.

This time, some of the inner sect disciples would take actions into their own hands.
***

 

They just can't stop.
The temptation is. Just. Too. Great!

And Yue is so pure. Don't change!
The Qing Jing's inner disciples can scheme against them. Yue can just sit tight and look pretty

 

Yue is always the purest, sweetest and prettiest, in G's heart.

 

***
ATDSVT- The G Side
***
Just when I think I have seen the depths of depravity of mankind, this world's people seem to love surprising me.

I stare blankly at the darkly clad emissary from one of the other sects, one of the stronger minor sects in their province. One of those that weren't stupid enough to annoy me by trying a theft or invasion. One of those that I sent a recording to, because it is my standard operating procedure to make it clear that we aren't pushovers.

They sent an emissary to ask me for a favor, apparently.

"What." I wish I could clean out my ears, because I am doubting it at this time.

"If it is possible, could you please send our sect master all the public service announcements which you have previously recorded?"

Yes, I am in fact hearing things correctly. They want all the vids I recorded and sent out as talisman creatures, which naturally returned to me right after playing tbe public service announcements.

Well, I call them public service announcements. They're basically warnings to back the fuck off and stop annoying Yue Qingyuan and leave Cang Qiong in peace before we get medieval on their asses.

Apparently I now have a following among the more dubious sects. Or at least that is what it looks like. Or rather sounds like, according to the words this messenger relayed to me after coming through the proper channels.

"You do realize those are intended to be warnings to make people stop bothering us, right?" I sigh, trying to maintain a calm demeanor.

"My sect master understands and requests your indulgence." the emissary is most definitely a male and is looking down at the floor in what he probably thinks is pleasing subservience, his dark robes spread out like a flower for enticement.

Dear sweet mother of God.

D-do they think I make snuff films?! Gore films? What genre should those warnings even be in, horror movies?!

....I'm not really that kind of person, you know?!

On the other hand, on the surface he has come here politely, followed all the protocols and hasn't made any trouble.

On the other hand...

"Your sect master does know that I don't intend to encourage any needless death or maiming, right?" I ask wearily.

"He understands, perfectly," murmured the emissary. "Please. We will not use them for any dubious reasons."

....We all know you're lying, bub.

"If there are any attempts against Cang Qiong because you people have been scheming something..."

"We have no such intentions," the emissary murmurs demurely.

I secretly tag him anyway while handing him the recording copies. He'll be followed by drones, his masters will be observed.

They had better not annoy me.

They've already distracted me from what I should be doing; that is, seeing to the prisoners from the newest batch of idiots. Which has also been recorded and a copy handed to the emissary. And which record will also be sent out. Again.

Because imbeciles.

 

***
ATDSVT- The G Side
***

Spoiler: viewer discretion advised

....And of course, when I arrive, something has been going on with the prisoners.

I should have known that Aoguang had ulterior motives in insisting on talking to me about Sun Jin's search for his heritage right when I had finished seeing the emissary out!

He delayed me by an hour! A goddamn hour!

And I arrive with him practically on my heels, to find Wang An with a cultivation boosting tuber root in hand, about to insert it into the crying, drooling girl who we were supposed to send back the next day!

"WANG AN, YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!"

...Wait.

Wait. Is she...?!

Yes, it looks like she's wet. But it doesn't smell like she peed herself. Instead the room smells like an orgy took place in here. And she's flushed and mewling and squirming.

"...What the goddamn hell?!"

I take a second look around and ohhhhh shit, we are going to be in trouble!

Why do I say this?

Because apparently Wang An decided to go full bore with the insertion porn with all the other captives before I made him put that root down.

There were four men with that girl. Four. Two of them I had to reconstruct legs for; one had to have his stomach pumped.

And now all of them are sexed out wrecks. As in, mewling, drooling, twitching, weak as foals, cum-leaking, sexed out wrecks.

Why?! Whhhhhhhyyyyyy?!

"What the goddamn hell, Wang An?! I did not give you the goddamn sex guidebooks so you could practice insertion pornography! Those books were for willing partners!"

"They had it coming, Shizun!"

Oh dear god. Even Zhao Fu?! Who the hell else was involved in this?! Zhao Fu, Wang An, Aoguang.... this is going to be hell to clean up. I'm going to have to to murder every goddamn elder and leader of that sect!

I cover my face in my hands and whimper incoherently for a few moments before I have to moan, "I did not teach you guys thiiiiis!"