Except when they catch you, then its in for a REEEEEEALLY awkward conversation. Maybe you've never tried it but trust me when I say that secrets have a way of getting out when you are in a committed relationship, except for a mistress for some reasons those are the exception to discovery most of the time.
You, good person *follows* That's a nice hobby. I like knives too mostly because I like cooking.. that feeling of freshly sharpened knife cutting thru stuffs easily~ \o/
Well it isn't the guy has an infatuation but what is described in the story is not cheating. Cheating requires the guy to shortchange his partner in love, if he still likes his girl like before still treats her the same and isn't fucking another then he isn't really cheating, otherwise every time a guy jerks off to porn online he is cheating on his girlfriend and having a favorite porn actress means you are cheating. You got to be open about this things with your partner sure, but not telling is not really cheating.
Dunno... I think this person is maybe over-reacting a bit quite yet... I don't see this as a unhealthy obsession as from that description it is not impacting his life, aside from it being unnerving to her from as third-party observer. If he was like putting his whole life savings into it and like stalking, those would be valid concerns. It probably is a phase of a sort... I've heard of Star Wars fans taking it up further than this guy and still being 'okay'(Princess Leia anyone?)... I see this as an opportunity for this girl... To learn a bit more about him, such as what makes this character so attractive to him. In some way she could supplant this desire for that character to be aimed at her instead... Like, "I'll show you that reality is BETTER than some fantasy..." go cosplayed as her and just totally rock his world...
i mean, sure, that's a bit odd, but when you compare it to the sorts of rooms/shrines people set up for boy bands or sports teams... sounds more like jealousy and a disinterest in his hobbies. she's gone through all that questioning and spying and never thought to watch the show for herself?
Like most of what others have said, I spend my entire day reading, and playing games and it's fun and a way for me to de-stress. Especially since I have school where things are pretty tough. Besides I genuinely like anime and reading manga and its going to be hard to find a "new" hobby for someone, like me, who rarely likes experimenting and hates wasting money on physical objects. Moderation is always an option anyways. At least the boyfriend in the Reddit thread isn't spending 24/7 just collecting gifs of Mio from K-On or buying more figurines,and talking his girlfriend's ear off about how great Mio is. That'd be annoying as hell, even for me.
Hmmmmmm, well all that I can say is I had and have some problems with it(the choice), but rather than being guided by the opinion of others it's more of a problem about what's good for myself, thinking really hard about it I came to the conclusion that it's not the hobby that's the problem is how I'm doing it.
This could be a lot worse than it is is what I see a lot of people saying and they are right, imagine his waifu was a trap..............
A hobbie is something you do as a part of your life, but it shouldn't be the only part of that life. While this bird can't really relate to the desire to fill your life with plastic tat and waifus, letting a hobbie ruin a relationship seems pointless. Which is not to say that relationships should always take precedents over hobbies, giving too much time to others burns you out and that can lead to damaging relationships also.
Here's the thing, when you are in that deep, it gets complicated. See the movie Don Jhon, it is exactly about this, just porn addiction. When you confront this type of person and force him or her to change, for the first few days or weeks he will be able to go a long. But with time, he will feel really strong urges and and he will get into it again, this time more carefully so it doesnt get out. That increases guilt, which increases urges to supress guilt and the cycle goes on and on, until the subject gets caught, then drama happens and subjects needs to supress a whole lot, so he does it again, and more guilt...well you get the story. So treat this kind of behaviour as a symptom, not a disease. This unhealthy obsession is a symptom, supressing it will not solve it, that is if you can even supress it for long. They will probably need to visit a psychologist and recieve counciling, and they may reccommensome group for addiction. As for me, if what I am doing feels wrong to me, shameful to me or bad to me, then I will try my beat to put a stop to it. But if my hobby is just weird or different than most people, then let people come and go, I will stay as long as I feel like it.
Ehhh no. Your hobbies must not mean shit to you if you can give em up for a girlfriend instead of finding a partner that accepts you and your hobby. Giving up something you enjoy to get some pussy sounds like something a thirsty teen would do, ideal adults find a partner that accepts their entirety doesn't have to like all of you, just accept you for who you are. A bit idealistic sure but having a relationship where you gotta hide parts of yourself or abandon them isn't worth the trouble.
I think people should understand the ultimate purpose in building a MEANINGFUL relationship. Compromises happen all the time in a relationship. Why? Because no one is perfect. Never compromise solely to KEEP A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER. You compromise because you want to and want the other to be happy. We make compromises big and small. We might put up with another's hobby or weird laugh. It's just on if you comprise became you think you have to or because you want to. If your partner is willing to accept your hobby, then good, they might just be a keeper. If not and you both break up, that's just it being unfortunate that you both weren't compatible. We could argue back and forth all day about how the girl is wrong for being "judgy" or right about "choosing the best that she want for herself" or how the guy is wrong for "being selfish and not giving it up for his partner" or right for "sticking to himself," In the end it's about finding a partner that will happily accept you. Love is selfish. Whether you will be selfish in ending a relationship that you're unhappy with or selfish in not changing yourself or selfish in compromising to keep that love or selfish in wanting the other to change. It's in the end about how selfish you'll be and what you want that determines the outcome. Will you accept the other's selfishness? It all comes down to if the relationship will work out, nothing to do with "reason" or who is right or wrong or all the opinions and perspectives inbetween.
It's just a coping mechanism. Some people collect stamps, some people have religion and some people have a waifu. The only time a hobby should be stopped is if it's harmful to yourself or others. Such as peeling off your nails or collecting feet.
The question isn't if you quit for someone you care but someone that truly love you but what if that people don't like you back then what. In that forum the people hate that bf but if the bf was complaining about her girl there will probably bashin the poor sap telling talk to the girl or other feminazi i know there was a post about a guy that his gf was cheating on him with his dad and the girl make herself the victimbut well the answer is not give up that part of ourself decrease the time is an option but only if my gf(lol) talk to me. That girl need to talk to the guy and make a compromise if they truly care each other also the girl in those kind of forum are truly scary
Now that I've gotten the sauce and read some comments and seen people touch base with him being obsessive and possibly how their relationship could work out, I want to talk about how this entire situation came about. 1. The boyfriend gave his girlfriend access to his computer and didn't clear the history. THIS IS A BIG NO NO. Giving your partner access to your computer or phone should never be done unless you clean it up. Fact is, that's how couples find out about each other's secrets the most, including stuff like cheating. JUST DON'T DO IT YOU IDIOT. 2. The boyfriend is obviously a bit embarrassed about his hobby yet makes no attempt to hide it. Posters and such can easily be taken down and stored if you're bringing your partner over. Or left out if it's relatively minor stuff. 3. Wallpaper and alarm... this is the sort of stuff people see. Join the clotaku faction and don't do that sort of shit and people won't find out unless you tell them. If you set anime stuff to these sorts of things, expect people to find out. In my personal experience, I like to hide the fact I'm big anime nerd unless I'm around other nerds. As for friends who aren't big into anime, you can tell them you like some of the more tame stuff like pokemon and often times they've watched it too and liked it when they were younger and won't fault you for it. Much better than the image brought about by moe shit. Society sees people who are into anime as freaks and sexual deviants. Not something you really want to be associated with. Keep to the outer fringes when you go public and keep the extreme shit private. Not many will fault you for playing Japanese games or watching mainstream or older anime like DBZ, Pokemon, or Naruto anymore as a decent chunk of the population has at this point.
Yeah, the thing is not if the hobby is weird or not. It all comes down to if they are willing to accept it. Same goes the other way. If your partner won't change then it just means the relationship won't work. There is no villain to this. It's a good thing for a person to be selfish in a relationship. It's about if the other will allow the other's selfishness. Whether in allowing the other to stay themselves or to change for the other, it all come's down to being their decision and what they find more important. Just don't do something solely to "keep the relationship together." Don't force yourself.
Yeah there is a stigma against a lot of otaku culture. In my opinion, a relationship is build on trust and acceptance. Why is cheating bad? Because it breaks that promise of trust. Also because in a romantic relationship (unless you believe in polygamy) the one promise and rule is that you both accept each other and no other. The one thing that is a unspoke.n is that you won't accept another person/cheating. Same goes for not hiding things. Do people have secrets? Yes. The reason why a relationship can end due to a secret is two possible reasons. The first, the other is sadden that you don't trust them enough to share it even though they might accept the secret/hobby. The second, the other is that they don't accept the hobby. A relationship in my opinion should be somewhat open so that at least these two building blocks are persevered, trust and acceptance. Without either, the relationship is more of a facade or a forced game of house
I still think it's better to talk about being a weeb gradually with your partner rather than letting them find out on their own and getting creeped out.