Emotions like a swirl of currents
Crashing against your skin
Pushing your body aside
Drowning your soul in it
Yet you let it stay
You give yourself to it
Volunteers to be consumed
You enjoy your powerlessness
Indulging in the waves of the ocean
"But you enjoy it," my friend woke me up from my trance.
I was telling him all the things I was feeling bad about, the reasons to all my tears. He doesn't even comfort me. At all. So much for being a friend >_> But his reply jolted me awake and kicked me out of my mood. I enjoyed it. I like being in that state of mind. I like having a reason to be sad and mopey. I like having a reason to act spoiled, asking for attention, and asking to be take care of. I liked it, drowning in my own feelings.
The biggest hurdle in life is indulgence - Pyoo
Letting myself drown in an ocean so deep and heavy. Letting myself be, accepting the tears as it flows without resistance. Letting myself get carried by the currents and torrents of emotions. I was being indulgent.
<Lost, Journey, Take to the Sails>
August 9th, 2016
Somewhere along the line
Somewhere in the river of time
Drifting about
I am lost
Where am I going?
Time will tell
Floating about the river
But the river flows uncaring
Uncaring of the destination
Uncaring of the journey
Uncaring of your desires
Uncaring of you
Fight the currents
Gather your strength
Make the choice
You’re braver than you think
The river may not care
But it’s your life to care
And you’re the captain
The steering wheel is yours to take
A youngster in life still has much to learn
Much to earn, much to yearn
A spirit of youth still has much to go through,
Much to fight through, much to cry through
Drowning, I find myself somewhere I don't recognize.
Drowning, I find myself someone I don't recognize.
Drowning, I find myself someone I don't want to be.
The river cares not who you are.
It cares not where you hope to be.
It cares not what you will be.
But it's my life.
And it'll be my regret.
My old poem from August 2016 reflected what I think then quite well.
Since it'll be my regret, and I'll be a me I don't like, then, I must swim. Swim as hard as I can. Resist the temptations to drown, the comfort of the water, and the tranquility of the river.
If I hope to soar like the bird I am, I must swim.
And thus, I'll swim.
『Swim & Soar』
Author
Pyoo
☀ Summer Melody ☀
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