Disappearance

Author

AliceShiki

『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』, Female
Messages:
24,650
Likes:
98,371
Points:
834
Blog Posts:
140
I feel pretty sad when people disappear on me... When the people I wanted to be close to no longer remain with me. When they just go away and go on with their own life, leaving me behind...

So I can't help feeling weird when I start disappearing myself. It was something that started happening recently, but I definitely noticed how much I started... Caring less maybe? Or just not being as addicted as before.

I have been on NUF for nearly 2 years now, and for the most part I have been a pretty big addict... Somehow though, this is not the case anymore. I wonder what happened.

There wasn't any particular changing point that made me want to go away, but I know I have considered leaving for good more than once by now... I know the reason behind those, but I can't quite get what I feel now... The reason is people.

People come and go, they disappear, they leave us... One after another, they just keep going away... I miss so many... There are so many people that just... Aren't here anymore.

I think it might be this again... Maybe I just don't see much point in remaining anymore... Maybe I just feel like I'm isolated between some not-as-close friends and barely active or disappeared friends...

NUF just doesn't pull me in as it once did... The addiction isn't there anymore... It's just... A place. One more place, with people I like for sure, but... There are other places with people I like I guess.

I wonder if I'll disappear for good later on... I don't know, it's hard to be sure... I won't go away without saying goodbye at least, but I certainly am not as confident as I was in the past that I would forever remain here... Haa... Sometimes I really wish I was forever locked in the past, back when things were easier and my life was simpler... I love the present too though, there are many wonderful things even in a terrible present.

Permalink
Hate, kenar, Ddraig and 8 others like this.

Comments

    1. Osamaru Jun 30, 2018
      *Hugs Lily* QAQ Don't disappear on us! We'll miss you!

      But really, like Alea said, It'd not say you are "disappearing" but more like you're getting your life in order. Didn't ya say you wanted to do that? You'll do well, Lily, and if you stumble, you have people to hold you up and pull you back up on your feet.
      And to the moment you think "I don't want to be here any more", You'll always find a place here.
    2. AliceShiki Jun 26, 2018
      Hate and Slayerwolfx2 like this.
    3. Slayerwolfx2 Jun 26, 2018
      @AliceShiki So far I've only had one such friend.
      Another that was a backstabber (if I could call him that)
      And a few that moved houses so I lost touch with them...

      Now however it's al dente ^•^

      So what's left is for you to go well~
      Friends, if they get lost, post a wanted leaflet about them *Dead or Alive*
    4. AliceShiki Jun 26, 2018
      @Arcturus *hugs* Thank you! I'll be sure to! ^^)/

      @Slayerwolfx2 Well, that depends on your definition of friends and how much you care for them and they care for you I think~

      I think the times that you feel a friend disappeared, are the times that you cared for them, but they didn't feel the same towards you... Which is sad, but can't be helped, it's the nature of life I guess.
      Hate and Slayerwolfx2 like this.
    5. Slayerwolfx2 Jun 24, 2018
      @AliceShiki Friends... they're just like the light.

      They appear out of nowhere and disappear in a second.

      Till you meet that liquid that makes them slow down, slow down enough to not disappear in a heartbeat.

      And here you see how bored I am... trying to make something out of the speed of light... still something though, right?
      Ddraig, Hate, kenar and 2 others like this.
    6. Arcturus Jun 24, 2018
      *pat pat*
      *sleeps on head*
      I'll always be on top of your head if you need a hug
      AliceShiki likes this.
    7. AliceShiki Jun 23, 2018
      *hugs @Seraphic* Yeah, it's quite surprising how much we change with the passage of time and how much things that used to matter start suddenly becoming quite secondary to us... How old friends that we were super close to suddenly end up getting farther and farther away... Time is surely merciless.

      I am very close to some people on NUF, but some other people I was close to just aren't here anymore... I suddenly feel like what made me belong on NUF is not there anymore I guess, which made me wonder why I still am here... Which is probably why I had an easier time reducing my activity than I had in my past attempts.

      NUF is still fun though, I don't have any intention of leaving for now... Besides, it's honestly my only social media, so I'd be pretty troubled if I were to go away, I'd suddenly be mostly isolated from the whole world... It's dangerous to do this kind of thing.

      So for now at least, I'll still be here... Who knows what I'll do in the future though~
      Hate, Slayerwolfx2 and Seraphic like this.
    8. Seraphic Jun 23, 2018
      There was a time when I had friends I thought I'd never let go, when I was sure I'd always stay close to them no matter the distance between us.
      Time was cruel.
      The people I once knew changed, as did I. The hobbies we once loved have long lost their luster. With drifting interest and rehashed conversations, our connections faded.
      If that was the fate of relationships I forged over a decade of close proximity, how much lighter is my connection to NUF?

      ....Well, it's not as though I've lost contact with all my old friends. One or two have managed to stick through the years, despite everything. We might not have time for everyone, but with time we end up finding out who is really important to us, and who we are really important to.

      Perhaps you'll someday leave for good. Perhaps, as @Kitsune Alea suggests, you're in the process of finding a balance of time that better "fits" you. Either way, I wish you all the best.

      Not gonna lie, I'll be pretty sad to see you go. Perhaps we haven't interacted that much, relatively, but still, to date, you're the only nuffian to my knowledge to have nearly killed me XD. Even if you fall out of touch, at least I won't be forgetting that any time soon :p But I hope you DO stay in touch, or at least give us a way to continue following as you move on to bigger and better things.

      Anyway, that's it from me.
      kenar and AliceShiki like this.
      9. Page 1 of 2
  1. Sort Comments

    Sort Comments