Craving Structure

  • This message has been removed from public view.

Author

Bad Storm

no thought, head empty
Messages:
4,842
Likes:
53,069
Points:
634
Blog Posts:
297
I'm craving structure.... And no, you can't eat it.... *sighs at myself*

Let's do a redo.

I'm craving structure. I want something logical. I want things to makes sense. I hate when people just get possessed by raw emotion and lose sight of what's proper. I hate it when people shouts and screams. They're too noisy. I hate to be in crowds. Can't breathe at all. I hate when people nag. I heard it the first time, you know, I'm not deaf. I hate when people gets angry. It makes me mad, too. And right now, I hate me. For hating these tiny little details.

I'm craving structure. Though, I may not be able to fix my house, I could at least pretend it's not broken. I could straighten those weak pillars, hide the mismatched floorboards with carpets, paint the fading colors away and keep fixing up signs of decay. Until everything looks picture perfect again. And I could go on and pretend to be ordinary.

*long sigh*

I'm craving structure. I want people to stay where they should be. To hold still and not cross the line. I want to keep them compartmentalize and away from each other. Because that's where I NEED them to be. Everyone's role is different. In my eyes, it really is. I just want them to stay that way. Because when someone moves out of place. I'm afraid that my little house of cards would all just fall down....and no one could fix it anymore.

Permalink
eminence grise and Emmyy like this.

Comments

    1. Bad Storm Jun 20, 2018
      Oh, nice skill to have.

      Glue will never be enough if my cards wanted to fall on their own. They will keep on falling and falling and falling until I became tired of fixing them up. And I kinda hate how I'll never know when that will be.

      P. S. I totally understand how headphones could ruin efforts haha.
      eminence grise and Emmyy like this.
    2. Emmyy Jun 20, 2018
      'destined to fall' is it ? Just place it by a window that gets the sun but no wind.. I guess if you super glue the first house of cards.. but I never can find the glue before mine falls hahaha..
      I work with clay on a wheel you need to pay attention and work it with it correctly or it collapses or is misshapen, using the right technique, speed is essential..effort is put in.. I almost forgot I then take time to paint it colorful colors and glaze more time..but so pretty !.. perfect bowl created..you think.. then when it is fired it cracks for some reason ooops.. back to the wheel.. Why ?because I love putting my headphones in and making pottery lolol
      eminence grise and Bad Storm like this.
    3. Bad Storm Jun 20, 2018
      But, it's tiring. Picking up every card just to build another house destined to fall. For now, I'd rather keep it together with order than see it all fall down with chaos.

      Thanks for the advice, though. Really appreciate it :blob_grin:
      eminence grise and Emmyy like this.
    4. Emmyy Jun 20, 2018
      Life is chaotic for sure..just when you think your 'house of cards' is perfectly perfect a wind comes in.. the cards scatter around..a mess is created from a nicely built structure leaving you wondering why did I open that window ?
      But the beauty lies in the fact you can pick up the cards and build the house of cards again.. and again.. it will be different every time..but I think there is enjoyment to be found among the chaotic mess and the process of building it
      eminence grise and Bad Storm like this.
  1. Sort Comments

    Sort Comments