Some people really amaze me.
I was talking to a friend yesterday, and somehow the topic went to relationships, at one moment he told me how he didn't quite understand what was wrong with the people he dated, because he kept getting tangled with some troubling people, but he was "pretty good boyfriend material" according to himself.
That kinda surprised me. Not because I necessarily disagree, but more like... That kind of self esteem is pretty amazing to me, I could never say I was good girlfriend material myself, I mean... When I look at myself, I mainly see flaws, like...
I'm ugly, my voice is horrible, I need to take meds regularly even though I'm still 23, I can't give birth, I'm needy, I'm a crybaby, I'm jealous, I'm a worrywart, I have a hard time taking care of myself, I rarely do the things I propose myself to do, I'm a workaholic for everything except work... I keep seeing bad and worse things about myself, and like... Where is the good part?
The bad parts come really naturally to me, it's basically what's on my head most of the time... I mean, I do have some qualities if I stop to think about it, but that's not what I usually see?
Rather, when I was in my last relationship, I once asked "Just what do you like about me?" because I honestly had no clue what could have made someone fall in love with me... I don't think I have anything appealing about myself. I kinda accepted I'll adopt a child and be a single mother already.
So... When I see someone confidently saying that they are "good boyfriend material", it seriously amazes me... How can someone have that kind of confidence? I truly have no idea... I know I certainly don't have it.