I'm Not Angry

Author

AliceShiki

『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』, Female
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Recently I started thinking about those words... You know those times when someone asks "Are you angry?" and you answer you're not even though you're obviously angry? Yeah, me neither, never saw anyone behave in such a dumb way, like... If you're making it obvious to the whole world you're angry, why would you say to the person making you angry that you're not angry? It makes no sense.

So then... Why would you say it? Why does this trope exist in media and why is it so common over there? There ought to be an explanation to this kind of madness...

I think I got to understand it though... You know the saying of how "The opposite of Love isn't hate, but indiference"? It's like... When something happens that really gets to you, and it really was something that made you off-balance, yet the party involved didn't even realize they were the ones that caused it? When they were the ones that made you feel so so bad? How do you feel then? Do you get mad at them and lash out? Why? They don't even know what they did wrong.

You just don't care anymore, that's what happens. You say "You know what? Whatever." because you're not angry... You really aren't, you just don't care about it anymore, it became indifferent... Something that mattered to you was so insignificant to someone else, that you end up not even caring what they feel about it anymore.

Is this the right reaction? Definitely not, you're only hurting yourself in the process while keeping the person that obviously realizes something is wrong in the dark.

Is there are right reaction though? I dunno, probably not, it's just a messy situation to be in... And we just don't act in our right minds when we're hurt. Maybe something that doesn't seem to have a solution had a really easy and obvious solution all along, but we just failed to see what was right in front of us.

Life can surely be a mess sometimes, can't it...?

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You, Bad Storm, hitedo and 8 others like this.

Comments

    1. AliceShiki Jul 21, 2019
      @mir Oof... I hope you can find better people to surround yourself with! >.<

      But II can understand where you're coming from for sure, needing time to calm down the situation, so simply avoiding saying stuff to escalate it is something I did loads of times, it just... Generally came with me trying to hide my own annoyance at the situation too, and I think I'm generally good at hiding those feelings, so people don't end up asking if I'm not feeling well.

      At least you learned how to handle those situations well, I honestly still have a hard time dealing with this kind of thing... It's not something that happened often to me.
      mir and hitedo like this.
    2. mir Jul 21, 2019
      @boogeronthewall Oh, I thought "Likey" was a typo and you wanted to say "Likely" and that made me think you were trying to point out something, but I couldn't understand what it was. Oops :blobsweat_2:
      hitedo likes this.
    3. Nobody Jul 21, 2019
      @mir I have good control of my temper and when people say something angering (is thay a word? Xb) either I don't care or I get hurt, but I'm mostly calm. I'm kind of sensitive, but not really cause I'm not easily triggered/angered. But when I do fet angry, people usually know what I'm angry about or if they don't, I tell them, but if Idon't tell them I just unconsciously forget about it or ignore it, and it passes.
      I forgot the last time I got angry, I think it was because of a school project. :blobsmilehappyeyes:

      But there are one of my classmates that was so gentle and kind that I had never seen her angry. :blobowoevil_horns:
      hitedo likes this.
    4. Ripple Jul 21, 2019
      I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.
      -Words of an angry person
      Bad Storm, hitedo and boogeronthewall like this.
    5. mir Jul 21, 2019
    6. Nobody Jul 21, 2019
      @mir communication is the key. Likey.


      I don't usually get angry. Irritated, stressed, yeah, but I get hurt more than I get angry. :3
      hitedo likes this.
    7. Nefasdetestasti Jul 21, 2019
      People who say that they are not angry but actually fuming inside, is totally going to kill you in your sleep.
      hitedo likes this.
    8. mir Jul 21, 2019
      mmm, I've done that before. The whole "I'm not angry. :blobangery:" thing.
      Because what follows "Are you angry?" would be "Why?"
      and in that moment I am trying my best not to lash out or escalate things. I'm feeling the emotion really strongly, but I can't explain the reasons for it.

      When I get really emotional, I retreat.
      I try to keep a lid on it, and keep it hidden until I can get to a place with plenty of time to myself to think over what happened and try to make sense of it, to try to understand what I'm feeling and why, without anyone or anything interfering.

      I guess some people are very clear about what they are feeling in the moment, but for me it's very difficult to tell. Plus the logic part of my brain shuts off when I get very emotional.
      So instead of having convenient words I can pull out to explain, like "I'm angry at you because you did X", I just get waves of the emotion, like waves of colors washing over. It's hard to explain something like that.

      If I try, it usually makes things worse. Why would it make it worse? Maybe because many of the people around me are screwed up. If I bring up something that causes me pain and ask them not to do it, without having an extremely reasonable logical argument for it, (in other words, when I rely only on an emotional appeal), it only backfires.
      Either my emotion is dismissed, or I receive denial, scorn, and/or the person makes sure to do it the way that bothers me the next time, because now they know how to hurt me, and why pass up a chance like that?

      Other times, I will say "I'm not angry. :blobangery:" because I have a better idea what I'm feeling, and 'anger' isn't accurate.
      It might be 'extremely annoyed', 'upset', 'irritated', 'frustrated', etc. Those times I disagree not to hide the feeling, since if the person seems interested in hearing, I'll go ahead and explain it right then.
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