Cringy past

Author

Nyann

~ᎠᎥᏒᎬ ᏦᎥᏆᏆᎽ~, Female
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Ok. Don't look at them serrriooussslyyy! :sweating_profusely:

... Ok let's get serious.
It's pretty amazing, and it feels like all of my words have been documented and saved in here permanently, unless of course, I delete them.

It's not as if all of them are "cringy" in the real sense. It's not as if I made outrageous threads and stuff haha. It's not as if I "stripped" for anyone. Even if I did I would just think of them as fun times. This kind of cringy past being referred to is totally fine with me. They are good memories.

I know it's rich coming from someone who reads old stuff and even draws an issue out of them. But like I should tell myself, chill! Everything we say/do has a validity. At one time we say them without thinking twice, and later we may even forget it. I guess that's how speech is supposed to be? Not everything said is a promise. One cannot tell me, "oh! When you were in fifth grade you said you used to hate me, that's why, you hate me." Is it so? Our way of thinking may change constantly, or even instantly if something turns it altogether.

I said, I wrote something even weeks ago, is a testament to my past. But in the present, it may not coincide with my situation at all... There are few things about me which are pretty dynamic. It may take turns just because of a single line of outburst. It was funny that earlier I used to rant each day, even each hour about my broken heart. Haha. Oh wells. Better to just read them as poems now. I don't want someone coming and patting my back now, and referring to something that i wrote before.

In journalism, there is something called "provisional truth", the truth changes as the facts change. Or something new is discovered about the topic that hadn't been seen before. And this fact overrides the fact now.

Well, I guess for us humans who see starlight that's ages old than it's present, we can never be sure of what's present or reality either. (Unless, we, get a giant telescope for our scrutinity and look at the situation, but not all of us are mind readers. Haha)

Oh well. Been a while. And my number of blogs was stuck at 69. Lol :blobrofl:

Matsurika, Naruin, yuzuki and 5 others like this.

Comments

    1. Naruin Sep 11, 2019 at 6:48 PM
      only thing i wanna say is... aww too bad.. 69 is a gud number.. (/.\)
      Nyann likes this.
    2. iampsyx Sep 10, 2019 at 2:14 PM
      For stuff that can negatively affect other people, yeah, I think it's better to lock them or at least restrict access so nosy passerbys can't dig up old wounds. I'm also an ardent believer of crying and "reliving" hurtful memories (except for trauma...since I'm not a mental health expert ;;;; ) to emotionally cleanse yourself and slowly move on so I think it's good that you're able to face the past and read them.

      Ah, there's this neat trick I found. So when my older brother plays his favorite sappy, really cringe-y love songs out loud, I try to remember a very embarrassing memory as hard as I can so I can let out all the 'repressed' shudders and goosebumps. I replay the moment again and again with as much details as possible until there's no reaction left to squeeze out. After doing that, the incident doesn't have much emotional impact anymore.
      Matsurika and yuzuki like this.
    3. Nyann Sep 10, 2019 at 1:23 PM
      @iampsyx well... I got into plenty of drama here and I think if people read those messages now it will still hurt their emotions... :sweating_profusely: at least even now I start crying when I read them... So the best thing is to simply not do so...

      But haha that's really rich coming from me who often goes back and reads about my own and other's past haha... :blobspy: *sutoka mode*
    4. iampsyx Sep 10, 2019 at 1:06 PM
      Mm that's why I don't delete anything from my profile, since it's kinda like rejecting something that contributed to me becoming the person I am right now.

      ...it's better to lock/hide them instead so only I can remember they exist! :blobrofl: Especially old blogs, stories and journals... :notlikeblob::blobdead: Someday I wanna learn how to desensitize/emotionally disassociate myself with the past so that sudden flashbacks can't kill me with cringe. :blobhero: