Realize the bullies but pretend to ignore

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Sawanara murasaki

Sawa the HEro-sensei
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I wish to discuss this case in the general chat thread but I know that my sister will read this post if I post it there, so I use blog in order to avoid her from knowing further things about my recent activities in NUF..

If she saw this post in the general chat, she will laugh of satisfaction and will think that she won the game..NO, she's wrong!! I post them here cause I'd nobody to tell it to, you guys may not know me so I bet it's the best thing to tell you guys rather than telling people who I know (cause I had a hard time to trust people nowadays, I don't trust people whoever they're to me)

My older brother and older sister (child no.1 and no.2) are overreacting and overdoing things over small fights...I know that they intend to bully me without me realizing it but I know them well that's why I know that they're bullying me...

For example like this:
My sister may not be here but I know that her accomplice (my brother) is the one who did the job cause they're very close and I know everything...Look at what he did. It's impossible for the others to did this cause they're innocent..First thought, I suspected two people but after the second incident, I know there is only one suspect..

I was very mad, very² mad about this but I pretended not too cause I know their motive to bully me is to piss me off..Aren't they feel shame for doing so? I mean like they're older than me and they should know that I'm a stupid childish brat and they should just forgive my mistakes as an adult...

I dislike them so much because of what they had done to me..My brother is a clergyman and how can he just say yes to everything she say?! He didn't even respect us(his family), how can a person like him become a clergyman!!??? He always insult me that I didn't want to talk to him anymore..


I pretended to ignore their activities cause I'm tired, tired of everything that I wish to cry but I want to stay strong..They're overdoing it they're the one who started it (my sister'S the one who started it to be precise was when I started to provoke her and told her how pathetic her actions were and her words were as pitiful as ever and my brother just follow her and so and so)..

I told my sister bout how pathetic she was this was because she always told me that father always demotivated people but she did as what her words said that's why she is pathetic..I even told her that I annoyed her to reflect her PATHETIC actions, she's pitiful..I even told her that I was mad because I couldn't accept the feelings of being betrayed by the person who I loved and trusted the most (me and my sister used to be very close cause I'm better than my second sister [I like my 2nd sister a lot cause she was kind even though she may appear the opposite and we're the same, not interested])..

I'm enough of this, I'm tired of bullies, I'm tired of everything even though I'm not interested but non-stop bullies for more than a month is unbearable..Why can't just they understand it, of course I won't ask for forgiveness cause they'd cross my line and reach my climax..

They just wish to piss me off, yes, I'm 100% sure cause I can read them through..I know what they'll do in the future, so I sometimes bait them with dirty tricks and reverse-psychology (so I won't doubt about my guts but they didn't realize it and now I don't want to keep update about them cause I'm not interested)

I'm tired, enough of this, I'm not interested plus their games didn't entertain me that I just ignore what had just happen. I grew sick of it and bored the more I think about it (that's why I spend my times drawing and post some threads and comics to this site)...but do you think they're wrong? I'm doubtful about this, I don't really say they're wrong but just annoyed by what they're doing...

Thank you for reading this stupid post anyway..

*May be talking about now and the past in one sentences or explanation

Comments

    1. Snowbun Jan 23, 2020
      Hmm, I hope you don’t mind if I give out my two cents on it since you’re asking for opinions...
      I have no idea what (or why) they did to you as you didn’t elaborate much on that but if your sister is trying to act up and take “revenge” on you for being told off, I think she’s being toxic and childish. Sometimes it might be just a overreaction on her part but if she keeps doing it despite knowing it’s really hurting you, then I say, it’s better to let it go. I have a lot of brothers and got into fights with them too but in the end, one of us would always apologize since we couldn’t stay upset with each other for a long time. If you can’t forgive her, tell her directly you consider this a very serious issue. Be ready to ignore her for a long time and give her the necessary time to reflect on her actions. If that doesn’t work, stay as calm as possible and get another adult or outsider to witness or support you if things start to get out of hand.
      If it’s really hard to trust your own family, I guess you’ll have to build up your self confidence and trust your own judgment. Maybe take a step back and do more things outside of your family circle. Again, I’m not aware of all of your circumstances and I can’t be sure this is the best advice for you right now but I wish you’ll feel better, fellow nuffian!! *hugs*
      Sawanara murasaki likes this.