Love

Author

Silver Snake

Magician of NUF|Show-off|Awkward|Genius
Messages:
1,324
Likes:
7,113
Points:
417
Blog Posts:
97
It's natural for people to want to love and be loved.

I've never loved or been loved in a romantic way. I don't think many people have, or few people have, compared to how many people there are.

It's complicated and difficult, not only love, but people and relationships, and life. Things get in the way, but before that, there often isn't one - a meeting of the souls.

Like, I mean, well, how often do you meet someone you like. And I don't mean that, oh they're very attractive, I could see how someone could be attracted to them, and so of course I am as well. But you know, it's the, uh, well, uh, that thing that you see in them that no one else has. It's unexplainable.

And understandable if you've never felt it before or know what it feels like.

Like I feel as if I've only felt it once, and may have felt it again, but that second time, I'm not sure, but it's closer than any other other time, I think.

People have been attracted to me, but I don't think they really see me, like really really see me. Just the idea of me or how I project myself to the world, how I want the world to see me. And I was attracted to them back, but more so in a reciprocatory or obligational way. Like when someone else is sad you feel sad too, or when someone's upset and you become very gentle and unobtrusive. Or maybe I'm just sensitive. I didn't really like them, though I wanted to - though I wanted to return their feelings.

It's just so rare - to really really like someone. And you can meet someone for a moment, and then the next, they're gone, and you never see them again.

And that entire time they're gone - you realize what was missing - you realize what's gone, and it's maddening.

I just... I just wish I knew what I'd be missing the moment I met her, if I didn't grab her right on the spot and tell her how I felt. I should've... But I couldn't. I was way too young to see, to understand the gravity of the situation.

And I'll probably never see her again. Or anyone like her.

imK and idlereader like this.

Comments

    1. idlereader May 9, 2021
      How do you realize what you've missed. Is it by always thinking about her/missing her/ feeling lonesome/ feeling like you're hallowed out?

      Its maddening to think what could have been because maybe, what's in your mind are happy thoughts. Its not bad, but, people need to realize that relationship is grey. It's not pink nor is it red. It's combination of black and white.

      Time reveals who a person really is. And, even what you had was good/great, have you thought about change?

      There are so many factors as you go through life. One will never be stationary, they have to always move forward. Maybe in the future you'll realize that what happened now was just right or maybe not.

      I've never felt this kind of love that you're talking about but, I believe that your actions speaks who you truly are at the present. Maybe if you grabbed her at that time your reality won't coincide with your thoughts now.

      It would be best to think that, maybe at that time you aren't ready yet. That the you in the past isn't responsible enough to to carry such choice and it would be best to avoid it. Preserving the good and avoiding the bad.
      imK and Silver Snake like this.