i write not like a writer
for writing is not a pleasure
it's not about the technique
the rhyme or the wordplay
i write like my breathing depends on it
for i feel a lot and i feel too much
my heart couldn't take all these
emotional fluctuations
so i write
i write and write and write
until there's no more in me
that can hurt me
write and forget
forget and be forgotten
i write to disappear
but my writings stay
maybe i don't want
to disappear after all
but rather
i want to be a spectator of my own life
put my life into writing
and act like it's never mine
i write not like a writer
for i want to run away
from everything that's me
and that includes
my writing
[N30.21]
1:55am
I made a mistake.
Knowing it's a mistake.
It was me.
My fault.
For dragging you into my cesspool of a life.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I have no right.
No right to cry.
No right to sadness.
No right to anything.
I won't bother you anymore.
I'd just disappear.
And drown until I forget about you.
Forget me.
Forget everything.
Sorry.
Sorry for being a waste of time.
A waste of care.
A waste.
I'm not...
I'm not okay.
Take me back.
I know you won't.
You won't care anymore.
You're good at that after all.
[D9.21]
[N30.21] &
Author
Bad Storm
no thought, head empty
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