Willpower (poems)

You're still not sure
And slowly I doubt it too
Maybe we are indeed not fated
Maybe it's just a big thunder in the afternoon,
That will be forgotten the next day

My heart aches when I think about you
Sometimes it feels like butterflies are on my stomach
Sometimes it feels like my breath is torn apart by nails

These feelings are too strong
These feelings are too unfamiliar
These feelings are too hard to be controlled

But everytime I'm about to fall deeper,
You somehow always successfully put down the fire
Then I'll get confused again
Lost at my thoughts
Wondering how this will end

I said I'll put these feelings down
I said that I'll let you go
Oh, how this would've been easier if only you never knew
Because I keep standing on the edge
Telling myself to jump and end it all
But you somehow always pull me back
Then all of my willpower magically disappear

So it seems like I'll spend another month being torn
Thus I'm slowly piecing back my willpower
That crumbled when you pulled me back