Untitled #12 (Poems)



Grumpy and Awkward <3, Female
Blog Posts:
Daddy why are you angry again?
Is being the 6th so bad?
I will try harder next semester,
so stop yelling at me will you?

Daddy I got 3rd place,
My friends told me that they're so proud of me

Daddy I got 1st place,
You said you will grant my wish,
Oh, you can't?
But I don't understand,
Why does mom and sister get mad at me?
They called me ungrateful

Dad, I finally win something for the first time,
Are you proud of me?
Dad, look at my certificates,
I've made you proud, haven't I?

Dad, I go to the high school you want me to be,
I don't rebel like my sisters did,
Why do you still yell at me?

Dad, I got accepted now
Look, I got 1st place,
But why am I still unstable?
My psychologist told me to take a break
Maybe she's right,
Because I feel tired

Dad, I get the exchange scholarship,
But I still feel tired
My routine is killing me
Constantly being sleep deprived
My friends told me I look like a zombie
I feel like I'm going to blow anytime soon
Yet I can't even cry

Dad, why do you cry?
I'm not dead yet,
I'm secretly happy that you apologized
Am I a bad daughter?
Dad, you and mom must be disappointed, aren't you?
Now I gotta drink one pill every day
But secretly I still wish I were dead
But I lie and say I'm fine
Everyone tries to convince me to stay
So maybe I'll try to
Even though my brain can't stop persuading me to leave

Dad, why do you yell at me again?
I'm sorry I didn't win
But I swear I am not too 'head over heels' for my boyfriend
I barely even see and text him
I'm tired...

Mom said told me to dismiss your words
And some people told me,
That I must try to understand you,
That you just express yourself differently,
And that's just how you are and can't change
Is it wrong if I feel wronged?

When are you going to be completely proud of me?
When will I be enough for you?
Is it when I'm buried six feet under?