It's been a rough month for me. All kinds of insurance, money, and technology troubles have interrupted the peaceful flow of my life all at once. My blood pressure is sky high, I am very close to literally losing my guts as my body tries to kill itself.
In short, I have nearly lost my mind with the stress of it all. That is not even saying anything about my family troubles this holiday season either. Things in this short time, have looked very bleak. But I have been down this road before. I've sometimes wondered just how much of my life has been spent on the wrong side of a hospital bed, and how many times I have been forced to examine how unfair a set of circumstances can be.
But, oddly enough in my lowest times, I feel very keenly how beautiful my world is. I like to say that 'beauty is in fragility.' The more uncertain your circumstance, the more unstable the world around you appears to be, the more aware you become of its precious nature. Things become much more clear, and all of the problems that don't matter start to slide off of your shoulders.
There exists a kind of 'tipping point' in a person's spirit where you are reminded of the eternity in a moment and all the things that worry you seem petty compared to the parts of your life that you hold the most important. It's silly, but right now I feel like I am profoundly blessed just being able to type these words with my stiff hands, and tomorrow I will wake up, not even minding all that I have lost and worried over this month, but cherishing the crisp winter air, and the inevitable morning cup of tea I will make for myself.
I will ride out this storm laughing, until I find myself in the complacency of peace once again, long enough to forget that I live upon a breath and a wing, and existence isn't the permanent fixture I wish it to be. It's very easy to forget these lessons when things get too comfortable. But until that day I hold to hope and hope to hold every moment until it slips from my grasping, trembling fingers, and even then I will smile.
When Bad Luck Accumulates, If You Can't Change Your Circumstances Change your Viewpoint
[Wood Wanderer][Cult of Pyoo: Pyoo's Oak Tree], Male
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