Appearances sake...



Well-Known Member, Female
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Usually when men say women are complicated and hard to please, I always scowl at them for being sexist:blobangery:. But in actuality, what they say are true. If I bother to think about the fact instead of taking it offensive or heading straight for a fight, I can see that particular quality in myself too. :sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely:

Something recently happened that made me ponder about this matter a bit.

It all started yesterday, when my sister decided to send me a picture out of the blue, while I was trying concentrate on my studies through the non-stop sneezes that was irritating me to no end.. :blobsad::blobsad: It’s not a bit related to this topic but I will still mention why I caught a cold since it's funny lol :blobcheeky:. Recently, there was sudden flip in the weather, from freezing cold to scorching hot because of a typhoon that past by. So the temperature was too hard to bear, even though it's just meh compared to summer in some places. Thus, in order to cope with it I found the solution in…. Ice cream:blobicecreamlove:. Ah yes, I caught a cold eating too much ice cream in just one day, so the saying fools don't catch colds is 100% wrong. Ahem! Now back to the topic at hand. :blobsweat_2::blobsweat_2:

To tell the truth I was a bit annoyed for keep getting disturbed by others whenever I start study:blobangery:. But my sister is the type that requires immediate attention when she asks for it, I have grown used this quirks of my siblings as time passed by :blobunamused::blobunamused:. So I checked the picture she sent, and it was a dress, with her in it. Honestly, it was ugly. Not her, but the wrapping she covered herself with. I was too tired to mince my words at that time, so I sent her one word reply, ugly. :blobpensive::blobpensive:
Anyone can guess what happened at this point lol. Yeah, she practically blew up right where she stood :notlikeblob:. And so, it led to another big fight between us siblings. It's rare for me and my sister to end up in a fight, I don't even recall the last time I actually fought with her before this. While that's that, I fight with my brother, each and every passing day… sigh :blobtriumph::blobtriumph:
I... keep deviating from the topic. :facepalm: *slowly takes a step back*

I won't bother writing up the whole process of the heated verbal battle between me and my sister, but it wasn't a bit pretty alright:blobsob: . I put partial blame on my annoying cold too, because I ended up saying things I didn't really want to say:blobcry::blobcry: . In the end, the huge part of it that I didn't know was, that dress was hand made by my sister after month's time. And she was planning to wear it to her batch party at campus.Which, her old crush would also be attending to… probably:notlikeblob::notlikeblob:. After I calmed down and got to know the details, I felt bad for the things I said, but I still felt the dress doesn't suit her at all.:blobconfounded:

I would say it's like a fine gift wrapped with a crappy wrapping paper. But sadly the words I chose to convey my thoughts were too harsh. I repent :blobtired::blobtired::blobtired:.

We ask opinion of others because we want some sort of support to be sure of ourselves. Believing in something can't really be done alone, it needs the support and persuasion from one’s surroundings:blobhero::blobhero: . Let's take a simple example, even when one is fat, they don't want to be called fat by others. Because they already know they are, and they may be trying really hard to improve. If you give them the right push without being too harsh they will make more effort to become even more pleasing than they were before:blobpats::blobpats: . Now don't be offended because I chose this example, I’m not calling fat, ugly. Sometimes fat can be cute too:blobnosebleed::blobnosebleed::blobnosebleed: . I just picked this word because the majority believe the obese to be unappealing. :blobangel:

When I take this logic to myself, I feel that I dislike being criticized because of my appearance too :blobdevil:. I hate to be called ugly too, even if I may be ugly or so. I want others to see that one part of me that is beautiful and praise me for it:blobangel::blobangel:. So that I can be motivated by their words and turn my quirky parts beautiful too. I should also mention the fact that, when people over-praises, it also gets really uncomfortable :blobconfused:. Because when it goes over the head, if one is not narcissistic, it's quite normal for one to think that they are being given courtesy or being pitied or being targeted to sugar coated sarcasm. Or it could lead one to be narcissistic over nothing:blobexpressionless: .
This is why women are said to be, hard to please. You have to be careful enough to give the right amount of words without going overboard or being too cynical or robotic. Words can hurt a heart more than any weapon could after all. :cookie:

All in the end, it's true that, even if someone is not good looking, they don't want to be called ugly by others:blobshh: . Because actually, they aren't. Even if outward appearances are not matching to the aesthetic senses of the majority in society's eyes, it's not necessarily acceptable to call them ugly:blobthumbsdown: . There is something beautiful in everyone, miniscule as they can be, they shine bright when placed in the right situation at the right time. :blobok::blobok:

In conclusion, my sisters dress is pretty because the effort and emotions she put into making it. And I was the fool not to have noticed it. :blobsob::blobsob:

My advice, always be careful with words.:blobsalute::blobsalute::blobsalute:

PS. I should take my own advice because I'm the kind to momentarily forget all sense and only realizes it afterwards.
Bear with this stupid me, my dear friends~ :blobhug::blobhug:
For I, will surely improve! :blobhighfive::blobhighfive:

lychee, m7vpc, briose and 7 others like this.


    1. Silver Snake Nov 6, 2018
      If someone already said this then my apologies. Bitches be crazy.
    2. hayyan Dec 17, 2017
      Lemme see if you are ugly or not.

      SakuraHana likes this.
    3. Katsono Dec 10, 2017
      I would rather live in a society where I can get angry at my boss and he would listen to me rather than lying to everybody. :whistle:

      Besides if you wanna get angry at your boss and can't~ why didn't you work harder to get a better place in society? Branding yourself as a loser is not the same as adapting o_O
      SakuraHana likes this.
    4. lychee Dec 9, 2017
      @icerror I dunno. I think personally I see things more on @SakuraHana’s perspective.

      To me it’s not about political correctness. It’s about the delivery, kind of like the difference between saying “It’s ugly as fuck” and “That doesn’t look good on you.” The former is charged with language that's inflammatory, but perhaps they’re both true.

      Whether it’s inflammatory or not absolutely matters because we all have long term relationships with people. It is not a smart way to live your life by pissing off virtually everyone you come in contact with by removing the filter on your brain. So in my opinion, the filter is absolutely necessary for your own sake, depending on how thick of a skin the person you’re talking to has. It’s not about political correctness or not.

      (To be honest, IMO the anti-“political correctness” movement is about being able to remove your filter for people you can afford to offend. You can’t afford to offend your boss, but you sure can get away with offending people less powerful and weaker than you.)
      SakuraHana and AliceShiki like this.
    5. icerror Dec 8, 2017
      The dress is ugly so you say that it's ugly. Should you be branded for thinking that? No. Should you be politically correct about everything because of that? Heck no. 'Less you have terrible taste.
      Even then I'd give you brownie points for looking after you sister enough that you'd hate to hurt her twice because of the same mistake. Still, creating permanent solutions to a temporary problem is a big no-no.
      Learn to control your reaction in a terrible state or how to postpone your answer is much better than put your brain in harness.
      Katsono and SakuraHana like this.
    6. regan Dec 8, 2017
      SakuraHana likes this.
    7. Vilidious Dec 7, 2017
      It's not that I don't want to or wouldn't like to be able to form emotional connections.

      It's not a simple matter of willing it either; it's just simply that I can't.

      I closed my emotions inside at around 10-11 yrs of age, and stayed like that until about 23 yrs old... when those somehow accidentally managed to loosen and I realized that I am indeed human, and not a machine.

      It was an opportunity I lost, or rather was never meant to catch at all, and now after several years I am again emotionally disconnected.

      It was a freak accident, which I cannot believe will come again. That faith is already nigh lost.
      I did try various things like talking to people, online dating, etc. to no avail.

      In a way, I've grown up to be alone; a cage solidified by my own values, self, fears and experiences.

      There's a reason I like to call myself an evolutionary dead-end, you know. :)

      Whether that cage will loosen up again, I don't know... it's hard to believe unless I turn gay and NTR my older male colleague's wives somehow.
      SakuraHana likes this.
    8. SakuraHana Dec 7, 2017
      @Viator I never thought of it from that point of view, but I do agree with your thoughts.
      You're right, too much kindness can be poisonous. I can't understand your struggles as I have never been put into a situation like that, it must be hard. But you are fighting against the world view with a good mentality. You should be proud of that.
      Your thoughts had made me think of this in another way too, I thank you for that.
      Nothing is good when they go overboard.
      I hope you will find the right people who will see you for who you are and be truthful with you. I wish you best of luck.
      AliceShiki likes this.