Usually when men say women are complicated and hard to please, I always scowl at them for being sexist. But in actuality, what they say are true. If I bother to think about the fact instead of taking it offensive or heading straight for a fight, I can see that particular quality in myself too.
Something recently happened that made me ponder about this matter a bit.
It all started yesterday, when my sister decided to send me a picture out of the blue, while I was trying concentrate on my studies through the non-stop sneezes that was irritating me to no end.. It’s not a bit related to this topic but I will still mention why I caught a cold since it's funny lol . Recently, there was sudden flip in the weather, from freezing cold to scorching hot because of a typhoon that past by. So the temperature was too hard to bear, even though it's just meh compared to summer in some places. Thus, in order to cope with it I found the solution in…. Ice cream. Ah yes, I caught a cold eating too much ice cream in just one day, so the saying fools don't catch colds is 100% wrong. Ahem! Now back to the topic at hand.
To tell the truth I was a bit annoyed for keep getting disturbed by others whenever I start study￼￼. But my sister is the type that requires immediate attention when she asks for it, I have grown used this quirks of my siblings as time passed by . So I checked the picture she sent, and it was a dress, with her in it. Honestly, it was ugly. Not her, but the wrapping she covered herself with. I was too tired to mince my words at that time, so I sent her one word reply, ugly.
￼￼￼Anyone can guess what happened at this point lol. Yeah, she practically blew up right where she stood . And so, it led to another big fight between us siblings. It's rare for me and my sister to end up in a fight, I don't even recall the last time I actually fought with her before this. While that's that, I fight with my brother, each and every passing day… sigh ￼
I... keep deviating from the topic. *slowly takes a step back*
I won't bother writing up the whole process of the heated verbal battle between me and my sister, but it wasn't a bit pretty alright . I put partial blame on my annoying cold too, because I ended up saying things I didn't really want to say . In the end, the huge part of it that I didn't know was, that dress was hand made by my sister after month's time. And she was planning to wear it to her batch party at campus.Which, her old crush would also be attending to… probably. After I calmed down and got to know the details, I felt bad for the things I said, but I still felt the dress doesn't suit her at all.
I would say it's like a fine gift wrapped with a crappy wrapping paper. But sadly the words I chose to convey my thoughts were too harsh. I repent .
We ask opinion of others because we want some sort of support to be sure of ourselves. Believing in something can't really be done alone, it needs the support and persuasion from one’s surroundings . Let's take a simple example, even when one is fat, they don't want to be called fat by others. Because they already know they are, and they may be trying really hard to improve. If you give them the right push without being too harsh they will make more effort to become even more pleasing than they were before . Now don't be offended because I chose this example, I’m not calling fat, ugly. Sometimes fat can be cute too . I just picked this word because the majority believe the obese to be unappealing.
When I take this logic to myself, I feel that I dislike being criticized because of my appearance too . I hate to be called ugly too, even if I may be ugly or so. I want others to see that one part of me that is beautiful and praise me for it. So that I can be motivated by their words and turn my quirky parts beautiful too. I should also mention the fact that, when people over-praises, it also gets really uncomfortable . Because when it goes over the head, if one is not narcissistic, it's quite normal for one to think that they are being given courtesy or being pitied or being targeted to sugar coated sarcasm. Or it could lead one to be narcissistic over nothing .
This is why women are said to be, hard to please. You have to be careful enough to give the right amount of words without going overboard or being too cynical or robotic. Words can hurt a heart more than any weapon could after all.
All in the end, it's true that, even if someone is not good looking, they don't want to be called ugly by others . Because actually, they aren't. Even if outward appearances are not matching to the aesthetic senses of the majority in society's eyes, it's not necessarily acceptable to call them ugly . There is something beautiful in everyone, miniscule as they can be, they shine bright when placed in the right situation at the right time.
In conclusion, my sisters dress is pretty because the effort and emotions she put into making it. And I was the fool not to have noticed it.
My advice, always be careful with words.
PS. I should take my own advice because I'm the kind to momentarily forget all sense and only realizes it afterwards.
Bear with this stupid me, my dear friends~
For I, will surely improve!