Appearances sake...

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SoShy

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Usually when men say women are complicated and hard to please, I always scowl at them for being sexist:blobangery:. But in actuality, what they say are true. If I bother to think about the fact instead of taking it offensive or heading straight for a fight, I can see that particular quality in myself too. :sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely:

Something recently happened that made me ponder about this matter a bit.


It all started yesterday, when my sister decided to send me a picture out of the blue, while I was trying concentrate on my studies through the non-stop sneezes that was irritating me to no end.. :blobsad::blobsad: It’s not a bit related to this topic but I will still mention why I caught a cold since it's funny lol :blobcheeky:. Recently, there was sudden flip in the weather, from freezing cold to scorching hot because of a typhoon that past by. So the temperature was too hard to bear, even though it's just meh compared to summer in some places. Thus, in order to cope with it I found the solution in…. Ice cream:blobicecreamlove:. Ah yes, I caught a cold eating too much ice cream in just one day, so the saying fools don't catch colds is 100% wrong. Ahem! Now back to the topic at hand. :blobsweat_2::blobsweat_2:


To tell the truth I was a bit annoyed for keep getting disturbed by others whenever I start study:blobangery:. But my sister is the type that requires immediate attention when she asks for it, I have grown used this quirks of my siblings as time passed by :blobunamused::blobunamused:. So I checked the picture she sent, and it was a dress, with her in it. Honestly, it was ugly. Not her, but the wrapping she covered herself with. I was too tired to mince my words at that time, so I sent her one word reply, ugly. :blobpensive::blobpensive:
Anyone can guess what happened at this point lol. Yeah, she practically blew up right where she stood :notlikeblob:. And so, it led to another big fight between us siblings. It's rare for me and my sister to end up in a fight, I don't even recall the last time I actually fought with her before this. While that's that, I fight with my brother, each and every passing day… sigh :blobtriumph::blobtriumph:
I... keep deviating from the topic. :facepalm: *slowly takes a step back*


I won't bother writing up the whole process of the heated verbal battle between me and my sister, but it wasn't a bit pretty alright:blobsob: . I put partial blame on my annoying cold too, because I ended up saying things I didn't really want to say:blobcry::blobcry: . In the end, the huge part of it that I didn't know was, that dress was hand made by my sister after month's time. And she was planning to wear it to her batch party at campus.Which, her old crush would also be attending to… probably:notlikeblob::notlikeblob:. After I calmed down and got to know the details, I felt bad for the things I said, but I still felt the dress doesn't suit her at all.:blobconfounded:


I would say it's like a fine gift wrapped with a crappy wrapping paper. But sadly the words I chose to convey my thoughts were too harsh. I repent :blobtired::blobtired::blobtired:.


We ask opinion of others because we want some sort of support to be sure of ourselves. Believing in something can't really be done alone, it needs the support and persuasion from one’s surroundings:blobhero::blobhero: . Let's take a simple example, even when one is fat, they don't want to be called fat by others. Because they already know they are, and they may be trying really hard to improve. If you give them the right push without being too harsh they will make more effort to become even more pleasing than they were before:blobpats::blobpats: . Now don't be offended because I chose this example, I’m not calling fat, ugly. Sometimes fat can be cute too:blobnosebleed::blobnosebleed::blobnosebleed: . I just picked this word because the majority believe the obese to be unappealing. :blobangel:


When I take this logic to myself, I feel that I dislike being criticized because of my appearance too :blobdevil:. I hate to be called ugly too, even if I may be ugly or so. I want others to see that one part of me that is beautiful and praise me for it:blobangel::blobangel:. So that I can be motivated by their words and turn my quirky parts beautiful too. I should also mention the fact that, when people over-praises, it also gets really uncomfortable :blobconfused:. Because when it goes over the head, if one is not narcissistic, it's quite normal for one to think that they are being given courtesy or being pitied or being targeted to sugar coated sarcasm. Or it could lead one to be narcissistic over nothing:blobexpressionless: .
This is why women are said to be, hard to please. You have to be careful enough to give the right amount of words without going overboard or being too cynical or robotic. Words can hurt a heart more than any weapon could after all. :cookie:


All in the end, it's true that, even if someone is not good looking, they don't want to be called ugly by others:blobshh: . Because actually, they aren't. Even if outward appearances are not matching to the aesthetic senses of the majority in society's eyes, it's not necessarily acceptable to call them ugly:blobthumbsdown: . There is something beautiful in everyone, miniscule as they can be, they shine bright when placed in the right situation at the right time. :blobok::blobok:


In conclusion, my sisters dress is pretty because the effort and emotions she put into making it. And I was the fool not to have noticed it. :blobsob::blobsob:


My advice, always be careful with words.:blobsalute::blobsalute::blobsalute:

PS. I should take my own advice because I'm the kind to momentarily forget all sense and only realizes it afterwards.
Bear with this stupid me, my dear friends~ :blobhug::blobhug:
For I, will surely improve! :blobhighfive::blobhighfive:

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lychee, m7vpc, briose and 7 others like this.

Comments

    1. SoShy Dec 7, 2017
      @asriu I sincerely apologise if you felt my words as an insult to you, I never mentioned those words for a purpose like that. I don't force my perspective on people as I maybe wrong myself. I just believe that I'm right myself but others can be the same, we just convince each other of how we view things with other people and agree on some facts. That is all.

      The things I said in below comments, was from a larger perspective than a simple example. As in, if you don't follow little things, you can never make it big in one step. It is not a different matter but the larger view of the same issu.

      But it's okay if you choose to believe on you own perspective. Thank you for dropping by.
    2. SoShy Dec 7, 2017
      @Vilidious Sorry to say this straight but that... Is no good. You would be so lonely. As you mentioned, we have a short life, we should spend each moment to the fullest as much as we can. Everyone deserves to be happy, don't take that right away from yourself. Since you already understand your flaw, you can try to make it right. Warm up to people and live your life to the fullest. I hope you do change your mind about this, I wish you best of luck. :blobxd::blobxd::blobxd:
      AliceShiki likes this.
    3. Viator Dec 7, 2017
      I have a different perspective, and I want to make clear that I am NOT refuting yours, but giving you an alternate way that a person could look at things. I am a man who grew up with a pretty severe disability called Cerebral Palsy. I believe I am not attractive and there are many things I cannot do physically that are easy for others. Yet all of my life, I have had people treat me with a sort of "put upon kindness." I would do a barely adequate job that anyone could do and get applauded, get lauded for what a "great job" I did. People would go out of their way to be "kind" to me in various ways, and while it made them feel better about themselves, it made me feel worse. I wanted them to treat me like a normal person. By never addressing the elephant in the room, by never giving things to me straight, and always holding me to different and lower standards, I felt that no one ever looked at me, but at my disability. It was a killing kindness that I couldn't hate them for but kept me isolated in my own despair. I personally value when someone outright says what they think even if it is incredibly harsh because I know where they stand, I know what they are looking at, and I don't have to guess if they are putting up a front for my benefit, or because society wants them to. I want them to approach me as I am, not desperately trying to make up for the ways that I am lacking. Only then do I find the motivation to become better.
    4. asriu Dec 7, 2017
      huh? this and that are two different thing~
      please learn to this is this while that is that~
      hence why I mention about etiquette~ flexible is natural thing cuz adaptation is natural requirement on social live~
      pragmatic view I say~
      still I will say it ugly if ugly with my own way~
      good thing you can learn from social life is how to insult say your opinion on round around way using flowery words~
    5. Vilidious Dec 7, 2017
      @SakuraHana Well, I think you have a point.

      I am in working life and, frankly, in a position where if I get really angry and change my job, my current workplace would, if not go down in flames, be in a reeeally tight spot.

      When I said screw off, I meant it figuratively. In work environment, I will probably listen and compromise, but if I deem a person unwanted, he/she is effectively cut off from my emotional life.

      Everything he says or does has no effect or meaning to my thinking or emotions at all, and I can and will go my own separate way at a drop of a hat, if I so wish.

      Simply put, all their credibility is gone and I stop associating with them as far as possible.

      I'm a tolerant and easy-going person, so it happens almost never, but it also makes it especially effective as a wake up call. My mother and father never went too far after I did it once.

      I'm definitely not perfect, but straight forwardness and natural disposition has seemed to be my opus moderandi.

      Respectively, I'm also sometimes cold and distant, or hurt or annoy people inadvertently.

      Life is short and precious enough to not waste or base around people who just cause misery, lack basic respect for my life, or are completely unreasonable.

      Oh, and that goes both ways, so I don't feel it that unjust if I'm similarly disassociated due to my distant and cold behavior.
      SakuraHana likes this.
    6. SoShy Dec 6, 2017
      And yes, I already made up with my sister. I had a earful of her rants but I'm glad that I decided to listen to her instead if arguing. Even though I got the impulse to do so lol. Now I'm giving her some tips to make her dress look good and we are sharing our thoughts on what would be the best. She can still improve a lot and there's still time at hand. If it ended up in a good design, even I might get myself tailored one from it lol. Thank you everyone. :cookie::cookie::cookie:
      AliceShiki, m7vpc and Vilidious like this.
    7. SoShy Dec 6, 2017
      @AliceShiki @Vilidious @asriu @shovel @Eternal Liar
      Mm.. various people have various perspectives. Sometimes you might agree on that or disagree. But when you live in a society you can't tell anyone to screw off because we all live in the same space, co-existing with each other. I won't try to force my opinion on you guys but when fully enter the society and you get a job, putting some years behind it, you will learn many things that we have to deal with, keeping more of a flexible attitude.

      For example, you can't say get lost to your boss no matter how he/she would find faults in your attire. Getting a job isn't that easy, and as the time goes by when we earn more things to lose, we consciously or not, become more cautious in approaching things. It's how anyone would adapt and survive, else you would be an social outcast. But it won't happen to any of us, because even without us noticing it we always mature and our thoughts change with time. Nothing is absolute after all.

      So even if you look into it and see it as a exhausting way to live right now, people always naturally adapt to their surroundings even before they, themselves took a notice of their change. Being straight forward and truthful may sound nice but if you really think about it, are you really always that truthful to the point with each and everyone around you? Even with yourself? If there is someone like that, they would be a prefect human, but equally boring and monotonous as well.

      But of course, this is only my perspective of the matter. This can also be changed with time. I still believe I still have lot to learn about the world and it's people. :blob_pompom::blob_pompom:
      lychee and AliceShiki like this.
    8. Vilidious Dec 6, 2017
      Katsono and AliceShiki like this.
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