Blue

Author

northerner

a stressed potato, Female
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Maybe it's the rainy season, it's raining for weeks now, I guess. I just feel so lonely, scared, panicked, nothing at most. I don't know what's wrong but I just feel like these. I even have to stopped reading in the middle for minutes because I'm thinking. I don't wanna see my parents die in old age. They're still in their 40s but it's scary. I don't wanna grow up. I'm scared that I'm gonna be someone who just leeches of their parents. I'm lazy af (in house chores). I want to work even though I have no experience. But I want security that I won't be a good for nothing person. However, no one's hiring now. I can't work bec I'm not sure if I can balance it with the major courses on my 3rd year. I'm scared that I won't finish my degree bec it has a high chance that they shave off students who aren't good. And I don't know if I can pass the board exam. I'm scared that I won't find a job. My cousin told me before that he can put me in the HR but I'm scared. Also, I'm considering whether to go for the air traffic control job that my friend's mom told us. That job always took test everyday. High pay but also shaves off those who didn't passed. I'm super scared. I'm just so lost. That I just wish tht I die rn. Always make me think the painless way to die. I'm so scared. It keeps ringing on my head. To die. I don't wa t to become a burden. I can't enjoy reading. I wish I stop breathing now.

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Comments

    1. northerner Jul 31, 2021
      Those day have passed. I'm trying to forget and not to think about it this week. I tried to stay away from my socmed accounts bec it's kind of depressing. Reading and playing games do help me forget about the future. Just, I need to remind myself that what I need to think now was to pass this year than be depressed for the future that hasn't come yet. Thank you. :)
      Shiroe Ackerman likes this.
    2. Clumsy Soul Jul 29, 2021
      *pat pat*
      I can relate to that all too well. Asking to stop having such negative thoughts is easy than to actually do it. Also, I might not be the right person to give you advice but all I am doing now is trying my best just a day and trying hard not to think about future because at the end it just makes you all depressed. It is tough but we can go through it, I guess. All we can do is listen to you, sharing what's troubling might not give you any solution but can help in taking off some burden from your chest and mind. You can talk to me or anyone else whom you feel comfortable with. Hope, you will get through it. :justabotheart:
      northerner likes this.
    3. Agentt Jul 29, 2021
      @Silver Snake
      Have a great day. I know I don't know what your words mean, but I am always ready to listen
    4. Silver Snake Jul 29, 2021
      @Agentt You have no idea what my words meant. Nor did daisuke. You're not worth my time or words.
    5. Agentt Jul 29, 2021
      @Silver Snake
      It need not be from this argument, it need not even be anything big. Sadness is a weird thing, you can be sad becaise of human impermanence, and how nothing one does shall ever make a difference, yet that might be cured just from a cup of coffee.
    6. Silver Snake Jul 29, 2021
      @Agentt My outrage does not stem from such small a reason
    7. Agentt Jul 29, 2021
      @Silver Snake
      You yourself seem to be having a bad day, what happened?
      Shiroe Ackerman likes this.
    8. Agentt Jul 29, 2021
      Yo! Don't worry, that is normal, to feel this way. Growing up is always a regrettable process, you have to give up many things you love, but this doesn't mean you have to be a grumpy responsible adult who knows everything. No one does, we all pretend. Be yourself,
      northerner likes this.
      9. Page 1 of 3
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