Trust is not something that you can give easily. It is built and nurtured with time and connection.
But in my case, I don't only refuse to trust someone, but I have the habit of suspecting almost anything.
When someone shows that they are willing to help, I would always think of something to give them in return bec they definitely expected some sort of payment for the goodwill. When someone offers something that works in my favor, I would think that they always had ulterior motives for doing so.
There was once a time when I got off from work, but my apartment was just a walking a distance from the office. I walked with one of my colleagues but then we had to split up since they wanted to get a their ride instead at the waiting station.
Then, a senior from work who was living in the same neighborhood came by with their vehicle. At that time I was already far from the said waiting station but I noticed that the senior stopped by where my colleague was waiting. I continued walking, but not long enough, I noticed a vehicle pull up on the side of the road. My colleague was not there in the vehicle. There was only enough space for one person. My senior told me to get in. I flatly refused.
The persuasion lasted for about five minutes, and I did not really get it in. I told them I wanted to have some sort of exercise, (which was true) and my apartment was just about ten-minute walk anyway. I pulled out all the reasons I could think of. So they eventually gave up and said that they should have had my colleague take the spot instead. I apologized. I thought that they would be mean to me in the office by the next day but I was wrong. They were kind to me as usual.
I did not have that close relationship with that senior but they were kind to me. It's just that I could not help but doubt other's intentions aside from my family and close friends. This is just one of the many situations I had where I somehow offended people for being too wary.
Well, thank you for the time you spent on reading this.
