Alice's Public Diary

Author

AliceShiki

『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』, Female
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Oh hey, it's my 50th blog post! I have been aiming for this for a while now~

I generally like doing grand things and such to commemorate this kind of thing, but... Well, blogs are more personal, so it doesn't quite fit, personal things shouldn't be grand and baffling, they should be... Personal.

I honestly thought of just doing a normal blog post for this, but... Instead, I think it could be more interesting if I made a diary... What will I write here? Well, the same as any diary I guess?

It's a bit of a weird experience, I have been wanting to write a diary for a while now, for... No reason in particular, I just wanted to. But the thing that allows diaries to be special, is that they are private, they are meant to be written and read only by their author, so... Isn't a public diary weird? I mean, if it was a proper diary, I would be able to put everything on my head into the paper, but since it's public, I'll need to measure my words and worry about what will I say... It feels like it kinda defeats the point of a diary...

But... Well, I don't care I guess? I just want to write it... Dunno for how long I'll keep this up, but I want to write it for a while.

I wish I could add a TOC to it, but linking to comments on blog posts is buggy and doesn't work, so if anyone wishes to read it, they'll need to go through the whole thing.

Well, that's it for the opening post I guess, the diary itself will come in the comments... Have a nice read I guess? I wonder if anyone will actually read it as I update it.

Emmyy, Bad Storm, Fossil and 5 others like this.

Comments

    1. Osamaru Dec 9, 2018
      \o\ Proud of you! One step at a time, one foot in front of the other.
      AliceShiki likes this.
    2. AliceShiki Dec 9, 2018
      9h of December of 2018 - Day 19

      Today I interacted a bit with Alea, it was... Small, just a small reply in a profile post, and a like, just that... I hesitated quite a bit to do it, but I did it.

      It feels strange, I mean... It hurts a bit actually, but... We're not really on bad terms, I just have a hard time talking to her right now... I wonder if we can become friends again after enough time... I mean, we aren't on bad terms, so it's not like we aren't friends, but... It's hard to call her a friend when I can barely make a single reply to a single profile post.

      It was a start though... One small step... I'm happy I could do it...

      I don't know what else to say, I've been busying myself with a lot of things recently... I think I might be good enough to get back into translating already... I wish I was able to do that sooner, but it couldn't be helped... I'm moving, trying to move, somehow, at my own sluggish pace... It would be nice if I could be faster, but no point in hurrying it I guess.
    3. Osamaru Nov 26, 2018
      *brings cake and tea*
    4. AliceShiki Nov 26, 2018
      26th of November of 2018 - Day 18

      Dear Diary, these past few days have been hard on me... I'm visiting my mom right now, dad's birthday was on Saturday, so I figured I'd stay a few days in her home... It is not a great feeling.

      I mean, mom is nice and all, but... I think social contact is kinda troubling for me atm. It just... Hurts. Almost anything that happens makes me think of Alea, "I want to tell that to her", "I should take a picture of this and send her" this kind of thoughts keep coming over and over again... Seeing the boyfriends or girlfriends of family members don't help in the slightest either.

      Then people in the family ask how are things going and I'm like... "Eh? I'm fine, same as usual..." I'm not fine, it's not the same, I'm feeling terrible, but I can't even talk about it... Or maybe I can, but I don't want to tell them about it... Ends in the same result I guess... Haa...

      I hope things get better soon...
      - A very tired Alice.
      Osamaru likes this.
    5. Osamaru Nov 20, 2018
      \o\ One Foot in front of the other.
      Emmyy likes this.
    6. AliceShiki Nov 20, 2018
      @Emmyy *hugs* Thanks, but after going through 2 LDRs and having all the people that are closest to me being online friends, it's a bit hard for me to separate things... *sighs*

      I'll keep trying though, one step at a time...
      Emmyy and Osamaru like this.
    7. Emmyy Nov 20, 2018
      I feel like I want to grasp your arms(lightly) look into your tear reddened eyes and say Alice its a forum...it should be for fun and entertainment you are investing too heavily in it. You are letting someone have the power to make or break you emotionally in this environment..I don't think that is healthy.
      I hope I don't sound insensitive but its not RL. Whoever then taunted you is just a troll..you shouldnt let them bother you.
      I think you should talk to someone in your life who might understand and comfort you. They might help you put this whole episode in perspective for you.
      I'm sincerely hoping you can move past this and be happy..
      AliceShiki likes this.
    8. Osamaru Nov 20, 2018
      *Pulls Lily's cheeks far* *twist*
      You're not an Idiot, and you're not a bother.
      didn't you rebuke me before about talking like that?
      I know it hurts, Lily, probably more than I understand.
      But you're not alone with it either, You don't have to sit in your room, crying all alone. (even if thats what you feel like you want)
      There are people you can go to, so go to them.
      Bleed your heart out and cry on their shoulder. If she really care as much as you say they do, then they'll be right there.
      IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THEN LET PEOPLE HELP YOU.
      That's what Friends are there for Lily.
      Emmyy, leegood and Bad Storm like this.