[Dear Abby] Ask Pasta

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1. Nom de Plume Aug 4, 2017

   Dearest Chaos,
   
   Fear can sometimes surprise all of us in unpleasant ways. I have a lot of fears of my own, and sometimes don't even realise the ways they affect myself. Fear can keep you immobile and prevent you from jumping at chances afterall.
   
   You just have to ask yourself... "Is it worth it?" Confronting and overcoming fears is entirely possible. A foolish person is fearless, but a brave one has fears and acts anyways.
   
   Fears can be simple. The dark keeping you awake at night can be solved with a nightlight. Fears can also be complex. Fearing losing someone should never mean avoiding making connections in the first place afterall. Like you said, death is not the way to end the fear of death!
   
   You are right that sometimes fear can appear and grab at my heart, but it's passing. There is too much life to be had to dwell on such things. On that note, I hope you do find that light in your life.
   
   Just have some patience and keep moving. Sometimes you find things right as you stop looking.
   
   Sincerely,
   A Pasta

   BlancFrost, Zone Q11 and brasca123 like this.
2. Nom de Plume Jul 16, 2017

   It hasn't ended

   Zone Q11 likes this.
3. Zone Q11 Jul 16, 2017

   Lady Bird, has Lady Pasta ended this blog?

   AMissingLinguist and Pyoo like this.
4. Zone Q11 Jun 29, 2017

   Dear Pasta,
   
   Have you ever felt like, the fear you have always thought to confront and ignore suddenly rushed into your heart and grabs it for a second in real time? Sometimes, that is what happens to me.
   Even though I know that, eventually, everything will go, and that I have to let them go, those seconds when I was grabbed by fear really bugs me every now and then.
   
   ...death is not a way to end the fear of death.
   
   Fortunately, Anime exists, Manga exists, and NUF exists. You are "the light" of my life. ...I guess I am just thinking too far in the future, aren't I?
   
   The Nuffian Plebeian,
   The Observer of Chaos,
   Zone Q11

   Nom de Plume and Matsurika like this.
5. AliceShiki Jun 11, 2017

   Dear Pasta,
   
   Thanks for the reply, it helped put my head in place a bit.
   
   It's definitely an important thing, but it's hard to understand what is the exact scary part of it, it's everything and nothing of it at the same time.
   
   Maybe what I am afraid of is having them change their behavior towards me once they know of it, even if not as a conscious decision, or maybe I'm just afraid of scared of them knowing more about me...
   
   It's strange, I want the people I care for to understand me and to know more about me, but at the same time I don't want to open up to them and let them know about the things that scare me and that I keep private from those that aren't truly important to me... Is that weird? To want them close, but wanting to keep some distance at the same time? I feel like I'm being completely contradictory on my wishes, and at the same time it feels like it's the only sane thing to be done.
   
   Maybe it's because I haven't even come to terms with my own self yet, I am not sure...
   
   Once again, I'm not sure what exactly I wanted with this letter, but I felt like I should write it... Thanks again for the reply.
   
   Sincerely,
   A slightly relieved magical girl.

   Matsurika, Lonelycity, Nom de Plume and 1 other person like this.
6. Nom de Plume Jun 10, 2017

   @brasca123,
   
   Without context, I am as confused as you! Certainly, it can be very difficult to bring up certain topics. It sounds like what you want to say is very important.
   
   Think over it carefully. What is it that is scaring you? You seem to trust that your friends won't judge you for it, so it's something else.
   
   Find the reason you are uncomfortable sharing the topic. The first step in fixing a problem is identifying it.
   
   I wish you luck,
   Nom

   Zone Q11 and brasca123 like this.
7. Nom de Plume Jun 10, 2017

   Dear @Carm,
   
   I will start with a disclaimer. I don't know anyone with your particular disease, and neither do I have it yourself. I do have a grandmother who had a mental illness however.
   
   I understand very much what it's like to... wonder. My grandmother's symptoms included things such as delusions and hallucinations. Sometimes when I wake up I feel this need to double check that everything is real. Hers is one that runs in families and I have always been somewhat different than others.
   
   It's very hard to give advice on this. The concerns are very real. How do you move forward in life and have goals when you can only see this "bad end"? @Carm you are alive. So long as there is life, there is also progress!
   
   You are worried about a duality and are having to come to terms with the possible fact that some of your actions are out of your control now. I will say it right now, it's possible. I think pyoo and zone were trying to say that you need to accept yourself, but although that is true... it's not an easy thing for anyone.
   
   I suggest keeping a diary. Writing troubles out helps put thoughts into an order. It's meditative. Keep interacting with people and keep reading as well! Absolutely do not give up on the things you enjoy. You are your own person, and the fight you have with Lyme will not necessarily be the same as the one that boy had.
   
   I have actually had a friend who had her personality change as well. She had a brain tumor. The literally sweetest girl in existence... became very mean. The pressure from the tumor changed her so vividly that doctors were able to diagnose her fairly early on. She did push me away, but I never judged or hated her for it. Why would I?
   
   Carm, trust in your friends as well. No one is going to hold a disease against you. You can live to the fullest. Don't suppress the part you see as "you" in fear of how you are changing. Change is a natural part of life and not necessarily part of the disease.
   
   As for the parts about your emotions feeling the same no matter the book, I am not sure. I don't know how extreme that statement is. Do you mean that you are as happy as after a good book as you are after a tragedy?
   
   Nom

   BlancFrost, Zone Q11 and brasca123 like this.
8. BlancFrost Jun 6, 2017

   Dear Birdy ,
   
   Lonely because the others had replied and you hadn't? Or because mine was short and you wanted to write something?
   
   I don't particularly count them, but it was just something that coincidentally happened in the same week and I brought it up in a conversation with the other that forgot me. One was serious the other not so serious.
   
   My question was what I should do to not be forgotten! Or something along those lines.
   
   Sincerely,
   
   Frozen Frost
   
   P.S. Yeah I don't think quotes work here. Not that it matters...I haven't been checking my alerts >.<

   Nom de Plume likes this.
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