[Dear Abby] Ask Pasta

Author

Nom de Plume

[Shio’s Disciple] [True Villain] [Equip: Gunblade], Female
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This is a pretty simple advice blog in the dear abby style. If you find it boring... just don't post.

How to Submit
  • Please use a letter format (Dear Pasta...). This will make it obvious you are writing to me and not just commenting/replying.
  • Comments in this blog should be:
    • Asking for Advice (Publically, but please feel free to give yourself a fun nickname like: From DealyLovedN0ob)
    • Official Replies from me or another Abby (list at bottom of post)
    • Additional advice from users (please wait until after an Abby comments)
  • Additionally you can ask for advice without revealing your username by pming me your letter. I will post it (with the nickname and without mentioning your username) and my reply together.
Topics that we can or cannot discuss because of forum Rules
  • Politics
  • Religion

EXAMPLES -- The Real Dear Abby

Schedule
I am usually available on Thursdays and Fridays, but my replies are sure to be slow, so please be patient!! Later I might accept applications from peeps and list their name here. Then you can address your letters to them as well ^_^


Current Abbies:
@Pasta
@The Nuffian Plebian
@Pretty Birdy
@Ty

Comments

    1. Ophious May 14, 2017
      Dear @Zone Q11
      Thanks for giving me a direction at least, I know it is childish of me to want to give everyone a happy ending, but I really hate it when the people I care about are sad. So I've kinda hesitated on what I should do this whole week, so I really did need someone to tell it to me straight that there is no true happy ending for everyone in real life...... but im still gonna try and see what I can do to minimize the damage at least...
      Once again thanks.
      From Ophious
      Nom de Plume, brasca123 and Zone Q11 like this.
    2. Zone Q11 May 14, 2017
      Dear @Ophious,

      No worries about the grammars, I can understand it. In the following sentences, I will use "best friend" as the one who likes the girl, and "friend" as the one who likes "best friend", if it isn't much to ask.

      But still... your life almost looks like a romance manga... This seems like a hard problem.

      If I were to picture you as the MC of a VN, then I would... get to know the girl better to see whether she is suited for your best friend or not.

      The first problem would be the second couple (best friend and girl), if your best friend is in love with the girl, then your friend's chances might get lower... but you probably need to confirm whether the girl likes your best friend back or not.
      The second problem would be an if; If the second couple didn't make it, then your best friend would be depressive for a while and needs time before your friend can ask him.
      The third and (IMO) last problem only exists if the second problem became true. The problem would be whether your best friend can and will accept your friend. If the girl is actually suited for your best friend, and they have the potential to become an actual couple... then I wouldn't know what to do either. In that case, I can't really do anything "good" to make a happy ending for everyone... (Because then your friend would have a broken heart.)

      If this were a game, then it is practically impossible to end it without at least one broken heart. Then again, those games were based on RL...

      To summarize;
      - Check whether the girl is okay with your best friend first.
      - Check whether your best friend is okay with gay people or not.
      - Also, if your best friend really likes the girl, then he should be more encouraged to have more interactions (talking) with her to at least get along with her.
      - I don't know what to do if the girl is actually suited for your best friend, and likes him back.

      [...],
      Zone
      Ophious likes this.
    3. Ophious May 13, 2017
      Dear @Zone Q11 ,
      I would if I could. Telling my first friend should be ok he would be understanding, but what do I tell my best friend? That my friend is gay, he likes you, do you want to date him? First of all, my friend and my best friend aren't that close so my best friend will likely reject him since he is going after a girl currently, secondly, my friend should be the one to tell him about his feelings, I will gladly help the two have opportunities to get closer but it isn't my style to pressure my best friend into a relationship
      plus my friend has indeed told people he is gay but not everyone in my circle of friends knows that yet, my friend is a little shy so it's gonna be a while before everyone knows about it, and I want him to have his time. Also, I am not close to that girl so I don't really have any right to tell her this, my friend does indeed like her and she is involved but the guy hasn't even talked to her much so I don't see a need to tell her,
      P.S Sorry for the grammar mistakes and confusion
      From Ophious
      Nom de Plume likes this.
    4. Zone Q11 May 13, 2017
      ...hey @Ophious,

      I don't know what will happen in RL, but for some reason I feel like advising you to tell the truth to the three people.

      [...],
      Zone
      Nom de Plume likes this.
    5. Ophious May 12, 2017
      Dear Mom
      Why is love so confusing? So last time I asked you about how to be a wingman for my friend but things have recently got slightly more chaotic. So my friend likes my best friend, but my best friend likes this girl and he wants me to help him get closer to her. I wanted to say no since I'm helping my friend get closer to him but then he looked a little sad and he's my friend so I don't like it when he looks sad so I said I will do what I can, but then I don't know what to do anymore
      I feel like I'm betraying both of them no matter what I do, I know I'm indecisive for not being able to pick who I want to help but that's part of me so I can't change that..... do you have any advice on what to do in this situation?
      Sincerely Ophious
    6. Nom de Plume May 9, 2017
      Dearest Ophi,

      Congratultions to your friend!! A decision like that takes a lot of courage.

      Ultimately, being a wingman just means being supportive. You can't force two people to be attracted to each other. Your friend is rightfully nervous. What you can do is think about the two people involved. Have they ever even spoken?

      The formula is the same as with any relationship. Your friend will have to interact with this person for any sort of feeling to develop. First, they need to leave a good impression. If they already get along, then half the battle is already over. You can alternatively give your friend chances to leave a good impression if they barely talk by inviting them both to hang out. Places like arcades are fun. Any activity they both enjoy really.

      Anything past that is between the two parties. The best thing you can do is give them some space if they seem to be connecting. I can't say that your best friend will be open to the idea of a same-sex relationship, even if your other friend confesses. Your best friend might simply just not feel any attraction for your friend. Conversely, things will develop naturally as long as there is chemistry.

      The absolute best thing you can do for your friend is to be their confidante. Listen and give advice while absolutely not sharing their secrets.

      With many well wishes,
      Pasta
      Matsurika, Ophious and brasca123 like this.
    7. Pyoo May 9, 2017
      Dear Nom,

      What to do!
      I feel weird
      I keep wanting to meow!
      D:
      Piyo is turning to Nya!

      Sincerely,
      Nyaa
      Matsurika, brasca123 and CDLevit like this.
    8. Ophious May 9, 2017
      Dear Mom,
      My friend recently came out of the closet and told his family and my group of friends that he was gay which we are all happy about(apparently almost everybody kinda knew already except me Orz) and anyways he told me recently that he had feelings for my best friend ever since grade 9 but is too afraid to tell him so he wants me to be a wingman but I don't know how to do that. Do you have any advice or tips I should know about if I want to play wingman?
      Sincerely, Ophious