Alright. This will be a pretty depressing one?
Well, to start, as mentioned in former blogs, I have read a lot novels, both real ones and translated ones, books and virtual. And what I have noticed through that, is that in our day and age, even though depression and loneliness is abundant, no one is really capturing that feeling properly?
So I began thinking, why is that? So I began looking for videos and articles, then I stumbled up on... uhh, what should I call them? Basically, depressive and emotional music is in the background while people are saying stuff like, "I am not pretty!" and "The reason I cannot love is you!". And well, I think the music helps, but when I listened to the words they spoke, that wasn't really how I understood it.
I believe most people have experienced depressive episodes. And of course, those videos express the views and the words said in the heat of an argument, but what about the inner thoughts? Personally, I have never thought I hated myself. But I haven't liked myself either. If I were to say my view on myself on a person, I guess I would say I am indifferent.
But why is that important, you might ask? Because when one is depressed and have or maybe not have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm, and it should be obvious that the deeper, more complicated thoughts on suicide and depression should be obvious and told, especially in novels.
Sometimes the MC's village is burned down, but do we hear of his thoughts? Does he want to kill those who burned and killed his village, and then kill himself? And if he does, can we hear the more complicated thoughts, the reasons he has for killing himself.
What I also noticed is that there are no novels that shows a protagonist that actively thinks of killing himself or doing self harm in a serious way. Of course, I am not encouraging it, but I do think it would be an interesting read for myself personally, as it could show the story of how you could get over that depression, beating it.
Because, no matter what anyone says, depression is a monster that is a silent killer, literally. How many have killed themselves and not said anything to anyone? Could they say anything to anyone? Maybe they were a reader, and they were trying to find a way to help themselves through reading.
I am not saying though that you should take novels too seriously or that you should just do what the MC does. That would be stupid and full of ignorance. But you could take a look at the overall situation and gain something from it.
So do novels capture what being alone really means? And if so, why isn't anyone writing about it?
Well, as for the first question, I guess it would be no. And the reason is answered by the second question, since this is just an assumption of mine, that the reason why there really aren't any novels discussing this subject is because of the feelings of the author who is writing it.
Imagine writing a novel about suicidal feelings and feelings of self harm? Not only would it be hard for the author to publish, as those kind of feelings are incredibly personal and dangerous. Also, if it were to get, uhm, to say it in modern terms, hate, then it would break the author. I mean, he or she just shared some of their inner securities, and then that random stranger says it's stupid.
Then, there is another question that should also be answered... should we even publish things about that? About a protagonist experiencing feelings of depression? What kind of things would the readers gain, especially the young ones? But what would they gain as well?
Well, to answer that, I guess it would be I don't really know? Depression is a complicated subject because of how personal it is, but I also think it is important to tell one's own story of how they got through it, how they managed to get by to the next day, how they continue living.
So, I guess I hope this has been a fun read? If it has been depressing, imagine me writing this. Man, I feel like I am 13 and sad again...
Oh well, I am gonna go cry in the corner now. Other than that, here are one of those videos if you are wondering what I am talking about and interested in seeing for yourself what they are saying.