Emotional Sustenance

Author

Dionysus_GZ

Well-Known Member, Male
Messages:
29
Likes:
49
Points:
55
Blog Posts:
1
I found that a girl was crazy about G-DRAGON after she broke up, and there is another girl was crazy about EXO-Aries after she broke up too. I felt strange at first, because they are both very intelligent and rational, they're not like star-chasers.

However, I recently had a new understanding of this matter. Because I experienced something painful in an emotional relationship, then I liked an actress too, although not yet to their level. In my opinion, this is an emotional compensation. When people end a relationship, they need to find some other people as their emotional sustenance, this one might be a real person, might be a fictional person, or might be a public person who is actually between real and fictional to those fans.

It reminds me that my ex-girlfriend was crazy about TF Boys and SMAP after broke up with me 5 years ago, which I was very confused at that time. Recently, I looked at her SNS, then I found that she has not been in love, and still crazy about those stars, she almost loves every male stars of Entrance of Johnny's. Suddenly, I felt a little sympathy for her, although this is a bit arrogant. Becoming an obsessive fan is so Illusory, and it also makes people very irrational. After we got enough courage from the star we admire, we should have faced our difficult life bravely rather than Indulged in fantasy.

I always tried to rule out the effects of my emotions, and keep myself rational. But this is so difficult, human is born with emotional needs, you cannot ignore them. Actually human cannot control themselves completely, you cannot be totally rational and your sub-consciousness also affects your behaviors. If people’s basic needs could not be satisfied, they would live in confusion no matter how they control themselves, because these problems are found more difficultly than those common psychological problems. The world changes so fast, not only do we need to know ourselves, but we also need to know ourselves constantly.
[​IMG]
Li Yi-Tong, the actress I like in this blog

发现一位女性朋友在失恋之后就疯狂迷恋上了权志龙,还有另一位学妹也是在失恋之后疯狂迷恋上了鹿晗。一开始我感觉非常奇怪,因为她们都非常聪明理性,并不像是会追星的女生。

然而最近我对于她们追星的这件事有了新的理解,因为我最近也在感情上经历了一些痛苦的事情,后来我也喜欢上了一个女演员,虽然还没有到她们的程度。我觉得这是一种情感上的补偿,当人们失去一段感情,他们需要将自己的情感寄托在其他人身上,这个人可能是现实中存在的,也可能是虚拟的,也可能是介于现实和虚拟之间的公众人物。
这让我想起了5年前,我的前女友与我分手后就疯狂爱上了TFBoys和SMAP,当时我非常不能理解。5年过去了,我查看了她的社交网络,发现她一直都没有再谈恋爱,而是仍然在疯狂追星,快要把J家的男明星都追遍了。突然间我有点同情她,虽然这有些自大,但追星是一件虚幻的事情,也会使人非常不理性。我们在喜欢的艺人那里获得了足够的慰藉之后应该去勇敢地面对自己困难的生活,而非沉迷于幻想之中。

我之前总是努力排除情绪对我的影响,想办法让自己保持理性。但这很难,人本身就有情感需求,不可能对其视而不见。其实人根本不可能完全控制自己,你只能做到表面的理性,你的潜意识也在影响你的行为。如果人的一些基本的需求不能被满足,那么无论你怎么控制自己你都会活得很迷茫,因为这些问题比一般的心理问题更难发现。这世界变化得太快,人不仅要认识自己,还需要不断地认识自己。

yuzuki and syc like this.

Comments

    1. Recouer Aug 14, 2017
      Linking park...
      *shed a tear*
      Dionysus_GZ, Kylarin and LaDyViL like this.
    2. abdera7man Aug 15, 2017
      *Sigh*... Remembered some painful memories...
      an emotional sustenance is a must.. it can be in any form or Shape , material or illusory....Cuz it may be a real live saver in that period of emotional Disturbance and needs...
      Dionysus_GZ and syc like this.
    3. Dionysus_GZ Aug 15, 2017
      @syc
      Thanks for your concern and good advice:cookie:, I often communicate my thoughts with my friends. I’m in good psychological condition, so don’t worry about me. My major is psychology, so I think I still have some advantages in dealing with these problems. Thus, I often observe behaviors of my friends and myself, and explore the motivation of my behaviors. You wrote very well in Chinese; I can't find any problems in your passage.(y)

      感谢你的关心,你的建议很好,并且我也经常与我的朋友交流自己的想法,我现在的状态还是很好的,不用担心我。因为我是心理学专业的,所以我觉得在处理这些问题上还是有一些优势的。也因为如此我经常观察身边的朋友和自己的行为,并且会探究自己行为的动机。你的中文写得很好,这段话我都找不出什么问题。
      yuzuki and syc like this.
    4. syc Aug 14, 2017
      Are you alright?

      After my recent breakup, I talked with my family and they helped me to calm my heart. If you're still hurting, I encourage you to go to your family or close friend, and speak out everything that's bothering you. Although you'll still feel heartache, they can help you understand yourself, your emotions, and your problems. Heartache will cloud your judgement, so it's not good to think too much by yourself.

      (Wanted to try some Chinese. Hope you don't mind >.<)

      你还好吗?

      我最近失恋之后就去找我的家人谈谈。他们帮我安神补心。如果还心痛的话,我鼓励你去找家人或挚友,把问题都说出来。虽然还会心痛,但是他们能帮你了解自己,了解你现在的情感和问题。心痛会模糊判断力,自己不要想太多。
      Dionysus_GZ and yuzuki like this.
    5. Dionysus_GZ Aug 15, 2017
      @abdera7man
      Totally agree with you, it reminds me of lyrics of Oasis:
      "Because maybe...You're gonna be the one that saves me..And after all..You're my wonderwall..."
      abdera7man likes this.
    6. Dionysus_GZ Aug 15, 2017
      CloudySkySadMoon likes this.
    7. CloudySkySadMoon Aug 15, 2017
      Learned something new today coz never experienced nor seen people who experienced a break up.
      Dionysus_GZ likes this.
    8. Dionysus_GZ Aug 15, 2017
      @Kylarin
      I think people are different, I’ve tried drunk, played games and hung out with friend, but I still can’t help going to look at my ex-girlfriend’s SNS, and now I go to this actress’s SNS when I want to check my ex-girlfriend’s SNS, I think it's an improvement for me. :p Idolatry is indeed a major topic worth studying.
      syc likes this.