I was reading the latest chapter of Fukakai na Boku today, and it just stuck to me how much of a blessing it is to have a proper family supporting you when you don't fit into the usual gender roles... It reminded me of something @ohko said a small while back in their blogpost... And it really is... Angering to think of this. It doesn't feel right, family support should be a given, I should not feel blessed for having something that I was supposed to have from the get go.
Well, I think I should show a few images before moving further. For context, Mogumo or Ryuunosuke was born a boy, but Mogumo doesn't identify with neither female nor male genders, they identify with something in-between... Well, this chapter focuses on the current situation at Mogumo's family's home through the lens of their sister. (Mogumo currently lives alone)
I really liked the way the author depicted the whole situation, on how you only need a single family member that is antagonistic to the change to make the entire family harmony break down... There were also some pages that showed how the mother suffered and blamed herself for this whole ordeal, and others on how Sakura is having to take care of almost all household chores because her mother went through a mental breakdown and can't work anymore (and the father does nothing on the home itself), but I decided to skip those or I'd have to show the whole chapter here.
And well, family members not always supporting a big change going on in their teenage child's life isn't anything particularly new, but at the end of the day our parents do love us and want the best for us... Or at least that's how it should be. And yet this kind of story in which someone with a gender that doesn't necessarily conform to the usual roles assigned to them by their sex is suddenly shunned by their family isn't really uncommon... And I just don't get it. It makes no sense.
I mean, can you even imagine shunning your child due to them doing something to themselves you don't agree with? I can't.
The parallel that I usually try thinking about is like... "What if my child started smoking?" What would I do then? I'd definitely try to stop them, I don't want my child to kill themselves with that drug... But well, I can't really force them I think, they'd just smoke behind my back and I'd need to try policing them when I can't, it would just stress us both and harm our relationship.
I think I'd instead try calling some of my smoker friends and ask them to talk to my child if I was unable to convince them on my own, because perhaps their words would hold more weight... But that's about as much as I'd be able to do I think. I dunno what else I'd be able to try, maybe search for a group of anonymous smokers or whatever. (Though I don't even know if those exist)
This parallel aside, that's how I think I'd deal with an issue that I don't agree with, I just wouldn't try forcing my way out, because I know it would never work, no matter how much I think it is the best for my child to try forcing their hand.
So seeing this kind of messed up family relationship depicted in a manga really hurts me, because... It's just so wrong.
And the worst part is that I can find a million of similar reports from people that suffered from those things IRL if I tried searching for 5 minutes. I'm just scared of coming to face with the reality of those issues, so I instead prefer to stay on fiction... And I'm still hurt by it.
And well, I liked how the author made sure to show that it was not only Mogumo that was affected by the family's rejection. The father became excessively stressed, the mother got depressive, the sister had to quit the hobby she loved and got overworked with household chores... And Mogumo now lives away from their family, doesn't have almost anyone to rely upon, and is terrified of going back home, all while they are trying to adapt to a new image of themselves that they're not even sure what exactly they want of it.
It's just so... Messed up. And nothing feels particularly exaggerated either... It feels realistic to me, like this kind of thing could happen to anyone that goes through any form of transition... It's terrifying. How come this kind of thing happens?
I just don't get it. It seem like people get so caught up in their everyday life that they forget that the basic and most important role of a family is to support and be there for one another, to share love... And it just stinks to see this kind of thing being put aside because someone doesn't conform to roles assigned to the sex they were born with. As if they could have any control over that to begin with...
I really am blessed to have a family that has been accepting of my transition... And I hate the fact that this is a blessing.