Forgetfulness

Author

AliceShiki

『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』, Female
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It's rare for me to forget something that is important to me, I mean... It's important after all... Sometimes it does happen of course, memory can play some really nasty tricks on us, but... Well, we surely forget a lot of things, for a very wide variety of reasons...

I have been forgetting lately... Ideas, mainly ideas, I had many ideas ready to write, just needing the right impulse, the right opportunity, or simply the willpower for it... Where did they go? Why did they disappear? Why can I no longer remember what I wanted to write?

Took me a while to realize what was wrong... I'm happy, this is what's wrong.

I already said it a few times, but I'm a pretty depressive person, writing those blog posts is a way of opening myself and taking this depression clutching my heart ease its grasp, it becomes easier to deal with the pain once that pain is no longer hidden within the depths of my heart, so... Many of my posts were about that, they were about the things that I needed to open up to ease this pain.

Now though? Now I'm strange, I'm happy, I'm in love, I'm absolutely and maddeningly in love~ <3

Where did all those ideas go? Where did the need to open about my troubles disappear to? It's gone... It's gone, because I forgot about those troubles. They didn't disappear as well, I just forgot about them, I no longer remember them, and so they are lurking there until they hit me again... But it doesn't matter, they can't hurt me for as long as I don't remember them~

I'm happy, people say that ignorance is bliss, and I agree. Being ignorant of my own sadness is definitely blissful, I'm too happy to know how sad I was, I already forgot. It is so amazing... How much can happiness change someone? It doesn't make sense, how can an unbearable pain suddenly be forgotten because an even bigger happiness just covered it up?

That doesn't mean I have no problems of course, some of those I can't open up about at all as well... Still... Forgetting is nice, I didn't know that forgetting was possible, or how comfortable it felt... Some day, I hope my problems won't be simply forgotten, someday I hope I'll genuinely solve my problems... But for now? For now I'm happy, for now I'm in love, for now I'm scared of tomorrow, but happy with today, let me forget my fears for a while longer, let me bathe in this happiness and enjoy this blissful time, that will hopefully last~

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Comments

    1. Lorielth May 14, 2018
      It great that you happy,sometime keep it inside may make you think that trouble again and again until you got depression.
      :blob_grin::blob_grin:
    2. doomeye1337 May 10, 2018
      this is why angsty artists make the best stuff *nods* they're feeding the tears of their soul to their audience :blobamused:
      AliceShiki likes this.
    3. AliceShiki May 10, 2018
      @Rizkiv1 I'm not forgetting all stuff all the time, I'm forgetting some depressive stuff I wanted to write about because I'm too happy to remember it~
    4. Rizkiv1 May 10, 2018
      But to frequently forget will make your life a mess. Like me :(. Or just am i doesn't want to think about it subsconsiously?
    5. AliceShiki May 10, 2018
      Teehee, thank you Cloz-kun! *hugs*

      Glad it could give you a smile! ^^)/
    6. Clozdark May 10, 2018
      Somehow reading happyblog like this make me smiled
      Pat* pat*
    7. AliceShiki May 10, 2018
      @Emmyy Thank you! And yes, inspiration does come from happiness too, it's just easier for me to write about my depressive parts than about my happy moments, but I'm enjoying the feeling!
      Emmyy likes this.
    8. Emmyy May 10, 2018
      So glad you are so happy! Inspiration will come from happiness too! I think it just takes a little longer cause you're too busy being happy and enjoying the feeling..being in the moment..not spending time pondering your life:):)
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