Home

In a Webtoon I was reading, one character once asked what being in love felt like... The other answered that Love felt like Home... It's a place that you belong to, one that you always think of no matter how far you are.

I really like that definition of Love... But most importantly, I really like this definition of Home.

I think it's really hard to find a place we can consider home. It has to feel... Special, it's not everywhere that you can simply find a sense of belonging, it's not any place that you can keep thinking of even after who knows how long away from it.

I think I found my home long ago, in a small chatango server with half a dozen active people, a bunch of brainless idiots that loved shitposting and had a hard time staying 5 seconds in the same topic... Recently they moved into discord, and now with the bot reactions and stuff, it's surprising how many old memes I see resurfacing over and over again, even if years have passed since they were last relevant.

It's funny, there are so many dumb people there, sometimes I seriously feel like just screaming "Shut up you bunch of morons!", yet not even once did I feel like leaving... Which is funny, because I actually left. For around 2 years I was away and didn't really look at them much... I kept thinking of those dumb people over and over again though, and 3 months ago I came back... It's nice~

There were some dramas already, a bunch of the old timers left because of some problems that happened while I was out too... And then I even invited another friend to it recently, and some stupid things happened a bit after that made them quit... It was really weird, it felt wrong, I felt guilty of calling a friend to such a toxic and terrible place that made them feel uncomfortable to the point of leaving... Do I think of leaving though? I don't. And I can definitely say that place is absolutely cancerous.

It's so weird... If I was new to that community, I doubt I'd stay 5 minutes there... But I'm not, and I have fun there, even if things aren't the same as they were before, even if the people aren't the same as they were before... It's just... Fun. I don't want to leave, I don't even consider leaving. There are problems of course, what place doesn't? But I can look over most of those and keep moving forward.

If that isn't home, then what is? This is how I feel about it... It is a bit weird to realize it only now, but that dumb place is definitely home for me.


NUF is my 2nd home though, no way I'm going to leave here, I love this place way too much... Well, I never took a huge hiatus of NUF though, so I don't quite know how I'd feel about it. Most I got was 1 month off.

Still a place I love from the bottom of my heart though, even if things definitely aren't the same as they were back when I joined... Some times I wish I could freeze time... Not turn back, but freeze... Just... I want to enjoy some moments forever, a never-changing status quo. To enjoy some of the things I already lost, again and again, for as long as forever... This can't happen though, sadly.

There are good things in the future though, not everything would be good if it kept the same forever I guess... Or maybe nothing is, I don't know.

For now, I guess I'll keep enjoying the feeling of home though, for as long as I can~