This thought just came randomly today,
basically I was having dinner and my dad came from work and I commented on how I woke up early at 6am (which is pretty early for me) everyday to workout and then study for my exams and test. He joked that I was just watching and reading on my laptop and pretending to study.
Although the rational side of me was like yeah his just joking, I shouldn't take it seriously. Yet for some reason as he continued to say this it really hurt, like my efforts weren't seen, like all my hard work was ignored.
Ironically, jokes that seem harmless and just fun, really do get painful after some time. Like I was pretty chubby before and so I started to workout and get healthier, only to be called fat by family again. Once again it was a joke, but because they said that so many times to me, to the extent of calling me 'fatty' when calling for me, I started to believe it. And after a small breakdown and talking to my mum about this, it only ended it her brushing it off saying that they were just joking and that I shouldn't take it seriously...
Which by the way fucking hurt.
anyways, that was me ranting so sorry if you read that...
I don't even know...
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Young devil
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