I'm sorry to myself for giving me a home I could never build

you can't look me in the eye
and that must mean you're scared
of what we used to be
of what we will never be
of what we could've still been
if I hadn't held our heads too high to begin with.
I always say I'll never write about you again
but you never make me feel any less,
and this has to go somewhere.
I can't tell anyone else
they'd see me falling in love
with a ghost
everything made-up
everything intangible
percentages on a score board
8% of endings we could've taken
29% feelings I harbor
63% missing someone that has your face
I haven't unlearned loving someone.
Unloving someone takes courage
which I have none of
which you took all of.
I would say I'm sorry,
but it doesn't make sense to be sorry
over imaginary hurt
imaginary you.
I was taught that the imagination is your limit
I wasn't taught that it is also my fatal flaw.
And this time
I'm sorry to myself
for giving me a home
I could never build.
I haven't unlearned loving someone.
Unloving someone takes courage
which I have none of
which you took all of.
I would say I'm sorry,
but it doesn't make sense to be sorry
over imaginary hurt
imaginary you.
I was taught that the imagination is your limit
I wasn't taught that it is also my fatal flaw.
And this time
I'm sorry to myself
for giving me a home
I could never build.