Just feeling a little melancholic about reading novels

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jex890

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Novels. Whether it be translations, short stories, or even a good ol' real book, it is all a fabrication of words which tells the story of a protagonist. But we apply meanings and truths to these words, hence getting our own emotions, feelings, and even opinions about the story and the characters within.

But I sat down today and thought, what is a story actually? I thought about a lot of things. If it is supposed to have meaning? Am I supposed to learn something from it? Or is it a cry for help from the author who wrote it?

And well, after even reading hundreds of novels I still haven't come to that answer. Actually, I don't even know if I have gone past a thousand now. Sure, I enjoyed a lot of them. Sometimes I even cried. But did I, as a reader, do my part and actually understand the story? Was I doing the right thing by just reading and enjoying the content? Or should I have spread the novel, telling everyone in my social circle about it?

Sometimes I sit down and think how obsessed I am with reading. I mean, as a kid, when I was way younger, I REALLY hated reading. The books given to me by my teacher were just not interesting. So like most, I began watching animations, then anime, then manga. And finally, when there wasn't anything good left, I began reading translations.

If my past self saw me now, he wouldn't believe that I have read as much as I have. I mean, I spend over a hundred hours of my week just reading. Sometimes I even think I might be addicted. Actually, I even think sometimes about how secluded I am, spending hours upon hours reading inside of my room.

Well, as time passed, I also began writing. And... it was terrible. Here is quote from my first story, where I really tried. "“Ding! Congratulations! You have received the horror system.(...)" That is just the first line. And just... the rest of it is... how should I say it... It is terrible. I also edited it, so it looks better. But imagine it ten times worse with no changes gramatically or even with the plot. It was basically just a jumble of stories put together.

I also wrote titles like "Love Love Life", "The WT Project", "Love Thyself", and even this crazy title, "The Sun Sets In The West And The Moon Rises In The East". I mean, WTF!? How did I come up with that crazy title!? Even reading these titles I think I might have been borderline insane.

I can say for certain that I have gotten a lot better at writing because of how ashamed and embarresed I feel just by reading the titles. But still, I wonder sometimes, should I have continued writing them? Should I have published them?

And then I say no. Do you know why? Because I am a terrible writer. Or was. I don't know if writing is even something that should be evaluated because of how personal it is. I mean, I spoke with my friend who also writes, and while I said you should write something that everyone can enjoy, he said instead that he wanted to write something that he enjoyed. We argued a lot about that. We also criticised each other's writing too. We pushed each other forward while telling each other about our struggles. A real bromance, you could say.

So yeah. I guess you could say novels, to me, is something like a connection to both enjoyment, hard work, and even friends. It is something precious.

Comments

    1. pass1478 Jul 8, 2020
      "Though, understanding said story gives being a reader worth and a sense of meaning, so it's recommended we understand the stories we read, but it's not required we do so."

      Really? But if we just read a story without even understanding it, are we even reading the story or are we just reading a set of words? I personally think that to be a reader of a story, we don't just read the words, we also try to understand their overall meaning, that there's a difference between being able to read and being able to read a story.
      jex890 likes this.
    2. pass1478 Jul 8, 2020
      "But I sat down today and thought, what is a story actually? I thought about a lot of things. If it is supposed to have meaning? Am I supposed to learn something from it? Or is it a cry for help from the author who wrote it?"

      A story is an account of something that was/is thought of. A novel's story is the narrative of said account. That's the basic and objective definition of it.

      As for its subjective purpose as to why it's made or thought of, I generally don't know. Well, I do have some ideas as to why some are written; one can write a story to entertain oneself, maybe as some sort of a hobby; one can write a story to entertain other people, to catch their attention; one can write a story to describe what has happened, what is happening, or what can/will happen; one can write a story to shed light upon a certain topic, whether it be in a positive or negative light. There are much, much more possible reasons as to why an author would write a story, the true reason maybe only the author knows? Maybe even the author doesn't know the true reason.
      Regardless of the true reason as to why people write stories, said stories are more often than not open to interpretations, meaning we as a reader/viewer can have our own understanding of it.

      "But did I, as a reader, do my part and actually understand the story? Was I doing the right thing by just reading and enjoying the content? Or should I have spread the novel, telling everyone in my social circle about it?"

      I think that the purpose of a reader isn't anything too important or too meaningful, that the base minimum requirement to become a reader of a story is to read a story. That's it. Whether we understand the story or not does not matter (in terms of being a reader). Though, understanding said story gives being a reader worth and a sense of meaning, so it's recommended we understand the stories we read, but it's not required we do so.
      jex890 likes this.
    3. Zeusomega Jul 8, 2020
      Wow, nice introspection there.

      I'd have to agree with your friend there, a book is the child of author, he/she can shape it for the public but what it truly takes on is wholly in author's wish.


      I don't want to spend months of my life pleasing a crowd that sees only through a window, I'll only end up regretting.


      No matter how bullshit of a novel it is, even the fast food CN or Jps, the authors have spent years on it, and it's made of atleast a bit of their true feelings. It's worth it as long has the one who made it is proud of it.

      I say no matter how silly your child is, be confident and proud that it is yours and yours alone....
      jex890 likes this.