Novels. Whether it be translations, short stories, or even a good ol' real book, it is all a fabrication of words which tells the story of a protagonist. But we apply meanings and truths to these words, hence getting our own emotions, feelings, and even opinions about the story and the characters within.
But I sat down today and thought, what is a story actually? I thought about a lot of things. If it is supposed to have meaning? Am I supposed to learn something from it? Or is it a cry for help from the author who wrote it?
And well, after even reading hundreds of novels I still haven't come to that answer. Actually, I don't even know if I have gone past a thousand now. Sure, I enjoyed a lot of them. Sometimes I even cried. But did I, as a reader, do my part and actually understand the story? Was I doing the right thing by just reading and enjoying the content? Or should I have spread the novel, telling everyone in my social circle about it?
Sometimes I sit down and think how obsessed I am with reading. I mean, as a kid, when I was way younger, I REALLY hated reading. The books given to me by my teacher were just not interesting. So like most, I began watching animations, then anime, then manga. And finally, when there wasn't anything good left, I began reading translations.
If my past self saw me now, he wouldn't believe that I have read as much as I have. I mean, I spend over a hundred hours of my week just reading. Sometimes I even think I might be addicted. Actually, I even think sometimes about how secluded I am, spending hours upon hours reading inside of my room.
Well, as time passed, I also began writing. And... it was terrible. Here is quote from my first story, where I really tried. "“Ding! Congratulations! You have received the horror system.(...)" That is just the first line. And just... the rest of it is... how should I say it... It is terrible. I also edited it, so it looks better. But imagine it ten times worse with no changes gramatically or even with the plot. It was basically just a jumble of stories put together.
I also wrote titles like "Love Love Life", "The WT Project", "Love Thyself", and even this crazy title, "The Sun Sets In The West And The Moon Rises In The East". I mean, WTF!? How did I come up with that crazy title!? Even reading these titles I think I might have been borderline insane.
I can say for certain that I have gotten a lot better at writing because of how ashamed and embarresed I feel just by reading the titles. But still, I wonder sometimes, should I have continued writing them? Should I have published them?
And then I say no. Do you know why? Because I am a terrible writer. Or was. I don't know if writing is even something that should be evaluated because of how personal it is. I mean, I spoke with my friend who also writes, and while I said you should write something that everyone can enjoy, he said instead that he wanted to write something that he enjoyed. We argued a lot about that. We also criticised each other's writing too. We pushed each other forward while telling each other about our struggles. A real bromance, you could say.
So yeah. I guess you could say novels, to me, is something like a connection to both enjoyment, hard work, and even friends. It is something precious.