Love and Our Flaws

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SummerForest

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There is no clear definition of the love between a man and a woman. My own experience says that in a strong bond of love it encompasses all kinds of feelings. I've a very strong maternal protective instinct and that extends to every one I love, be it a lover or a friend. It often makes me overlook the flaw in their nature or their eccentric behaviour. It can be often described as pure indulgence.
Just like that I've been treated as a silly lil girl by my loved one who doesn't mind even my biggest flaws.
So I wonder, what is this love that makes us overlook those flaws in our loved ones which may be despicable to others?
From my experience I'll say that as long as two people are in love they try to overlook or compromise with the apparent flaws in their partners, but if they begin to fall out of love, those previously overlooked matters tend to become very big, and sometimes, insurmountable.
Just like they say, if you lose the loving feeling, nothing can be worked out anymore.

@AliceShiki I was going to post this as a comment in your blog, but then thought of seeking out others' opinion on this.

You, Haerether, Flamer and 9 others like this.

Comments

    1. AliceShiki Sep 28, 2019
      I think defining what love is is pretty much impossible, it really varies from person to person... But I believe love is not something that simple "exists", it needs to be nurtured and maintained by both parties.

      This means commitment is needed, as well as trust and a desire to help one another and to accept each other's shortcomings... I also think it's important to also keep doing couple things, like... It may sound silly, but your husband is also your boyfriend, so you should treat him like a boyfriend and go on dates and express your love in ways that matter for the both of you. It's important.

      What I and probably most people can agree with though, is that the crazy blossoming maddening feeling that comes in the first few months of a relationship tend to disappear with time though... What remains is a much warmer and tamer feeling... Still, that warmth is a wonderful feeling that can move mountains, so it needs to be cherished and treasured very much~
    2. SpearOfLies Sep 28, 2019
      *patpat*
    3. Lurking Sep 28, 2019
      @Aho
      Hmm. Just saw the bit about love being an illusion

      Isnt lots of things illusions? Its beleiving in something that makes it true?

      Either way, love takes work to maintain... if you slack you lose it. You cant take it for granted

      Also are you specifically referring to romantic love or all love, includimg the various platonic kinds?

      Anyway... love is a selfish thing yanno. To be so selfish as to love and to be so entitled as to expect things from those you love... do remember they dont have an obligation to the one who selfishly decided to love them on their own.

      I want to avoid being so entitled as well as as selfish as I already am...

      That leads to heartbreak and its ilk, and i dont want to get hurt.
    4. SummerForest Sep 28, 2019
      @Aho I understand what you are saying here. That's where we feel cheated, isn't it?
      Well, if we know that they had their own reasons for doing that we often forgive them. That's a major reason that love is called blind.
      AliceShiki and Aho like this.
    5. Ahodesuga Sep 28, 2019
      @Lurking that's not what I meant, your loved one isn't perfect. But you at least expect them to do the normal things you expectin a relationship no? Compassion, caring and supporting you in your lowest moments. It's when those expectations are broken that you come to resent them and realise, this whole thing was a sham.

      @SummerForest
      SummerForest likes this.
    6. SummerForest Sep 28, 2019
      @lychee I'll go read that comment now XD
      And I agree with your view.
    7. Lurking Sep 28, 2019
      @Aho that doesnt sound like love to me...

      That sounds like idolatry where you expect the target of your feelings to be perfect- but then, when this human you put on a pedestal isnt perfect, you throw them away.

      Not love. Not to me anyway.
      Aho likes this.
    8. SummerForest Sep 28, 2019
      @Aho that was what happened in my case. The one I trusted most failed to stand by me in my most vulnerable time. But that was not enough reason for me to call it quit. At least, those you love should be given more chances.
      AliceShiki and Aho like this.