The recent weeks have filled with emotional turmoil in a way that is somewhat difficult to describe. There is a vague sense of anxiety and discomfort — a sinking feeling in my chest — that is hard to pinpoint yet powerful enough to evoke many hours of raw feelings.
For those of you who are not American (or unfamiliar in other ways), the death of George Floyd has initiated extensive protests and civil unrest surrounding the Black Lives Matter movement.
I'm not sure exactly why this moment has gripped me so intensely (I'm Chinese-American and not Black), but I've found myself feeling emotionally overwhelmed for several days. Like I mentioned in my last blog post, I can get anxiety over current political events, and this is one of those times.
For many nights, I've spent entire evenings glued to the news, unable to take my eyes away. Since I don't have cable/network television, I was watching live news on the Internet, which is something that I rarely do since I usually prefer to read news on my phone.
Again, I've simply felt overwhelmed.
Why do I feel this way?
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Race is something that many people have complicated relationships with, and many people feel uncomfortable talking about.
As a (model) minority in the United States, race has been a dramatic component of my experiences growing up in this country. I have a number of uncomfortable experiences related to race, which is small in comparison to the enormous breadth of systemic racism experienced by black communities in the United States.
This is a problem.
It's also a collective problem.
It's a problem that is easy to brush off, thinking "it's not me being racist, it's someone else" — yet actually, it is the sum of all of us that contribute to a racist society.
Consequently, it becomes a collective action problem. How do you initiate change in something if no one is willing to take responsibility for a collective? All of us are part of the collective, so don't we each hold some responsibility to the social and cultural problems of our communities?
Do we have the humility to examine it?
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I've heard some people say that "racist" is the R-word, meaning that it's avoided entirely in the mainstream broadcasting industry and other professional settings. "Racist" is an inflammatory word that makes people automatically defensive (and uncomfortable), and in everyday life you almost never see it unless you're a vocal participant of the Internet (like Twitter).
Over the years, I've debated with many people on the Internet, and my personal policy has been to never use to the word "racist" in a dialogue with someone (regardless of what I think), mostly because I find that it often automatically shuts down conversations. People are unwilling to engage productively once the R-word is thrown.
The R-word contributes to the right-wing perception that evil feminists and lefties run around everywhere throwing water balloons and stamping people as "racists". Calling someone racist can make you look like you are "policing" or "censoring" someone else's freedom of expression, and you are liable to being labeled a "snowflake" who is "too sensitive".
So let's defer on that individual concept of racism (since we are apparently unable to process it) and start with a less controversial statement that most people can agree on: "Society is racist."
Why is this case?
And what role do we play in society that contributes to that?
Miscellaneous musings on race #1
Author
lychee
[- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀
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