NU Chronicles-Family and Friends Part 1

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance is fiction. NAMES ARE FICTIONAL, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY FICTIONAL, WITH HAVING NO RELATION TO REAL LIFE.

If, like me, you too were thrown into this world, here is a piece of advice,
Don't ever ask someone about their family.

It's not like it is a sensitive topic, but rather a boring topic. The other person will drone on and on about his family for hours, and fill pages drawing his family tree, only to have you be
"...huh?"
"Welcome to NUF, buddy." Would be their reply.

So, you must be thinking, how could I possibly discuss both family and friends in one blog, in a world where people don't even know that they have been adopted?
The answer is pretty simple,
I don't have a family.
..
..
..
Someone please adopt/marry me, I'll die alone....
In fact, I am currently looking for a Mama, the below are the requirements
1) Should be a female(optional)
2) Should not kick me when I take ice cream from fridge, yes Clumsy Soul, this is directed towards you.

Now that's out of way, its not like I have no family at all, I have some non related members that I would include in Friends.
Talking about all the friends, is of course, impossible.
I am a charismatic man, and born handsome, people are attracted to me, its one of the law of nature.
Hence, this list shall include a chronological order.
I was once told I should befriend 2 prominent members of this society, namely
Mr. Satan and Ms. Justabot.
Mr Satan, we haven't met yet. If you are reading this....hi, I guess? I don't know what to say. You have a big family.
Bye?

Ms. Justabot, the poor girl suffers from dementia. She sometimes claim that she is a boy, which is false.
If you ever meet her, be sure of the following facts,
1. She is a she.
2. She is single.
3. She is in love with Agentt.
Now, different people would have different opinions over the third point, and I respect them, I am just saying when I threw her in a sack and took her home, she didn't resist. She even said yes when I asked if she would live with Togepi.
And living with Togepi means living with me.
But this isn't a blog about her.

When I found myself here, my first instinct was to find another human, and I found one soon, she was inside a pet shop.

A girl which was clad in all wool, she almost looked like a sheep.
I asked her
"Excuse me, do you know what this place is?"
"I'll take this one please." She said while pointing towards me, "How much does he cost?"
Now, I may be a spineless man now, but I still had enough dignity to object.
"Ma'am, I am a human, not a pet."
"Oh, then you will become my step brother instead~~~"

At that time, I thought the poor girl was suffering from some disease, but as I would later find out, she was the only sane person in this entire world. She atleast had the decency of giving me a choice.
So, that's how I got my first step sister, I. I Cute was her name. She had a weird middle name, Ship Anything , but different cultures I guess.

My next step sister, I met her on my walks. She was a beauty, someone I fell in love with first sight.
She was so pretty, I got flustered,
And I said what any flustered man in my situation would say.
"Would you please marry me!"
"No." She said like a respectable woman.
But the damage was already done, I was flustered. There is no stopping a flustered man,
I did what a flustered man would do in that situation.
"Would you become my step sister then!"
"Yes~~~"

Her name was Lissi, and I didn't knew at the time, but she is wife of Boba, who as I said, is rich.
A lot of my problems would be solved if I asked her for help, but its too late now.
In fact, Lissi is one of the reason I can't find a family. Whenever I ask someone's hand, I get,
"We can't! You are my uncle!"
Why are you so...why do you have so many children Boba? Why do you have so many wives?


Looking back now, most of my friends were found on street, reminds me of polemon.

So, again, I was walking down my home, aka, the street. This was before I got a permanent residence at Togepi Pumpkin.
I got thrown in a sack and got locked in a room.
The perpetrator was a man called Cadmar, a man who looked like he was in his 30s but had a face of a child.
Turns out, Cadmar had also kidnapped many other people too.

Cadmar is currently suffering from a rare inborn disease where his IQ rapidly drops if not allowed to talk.
Normally, his words are normal, like
"I am currently in your bath room"

If you shut him up for a few hours, he goes to
"Cant. Talk. Please. Spam.

Continued quietness resulted in degradation of speech. At this stage, Cadmar can only speak 2 sentences.
"I made a profit of 400 nuffies"
"Read my translation"
Cadmar is unable to speak any other sentence than this, though he has created a language of his own, consisting of only these two sentences.

In an experiment, I kept him locked with another person, Sylvia to see if the disease is communicable.
I checked on them after a while, and this was their conversation

"Did you know that jdhshwbsusbwjsi is a word in dictionary?"
"They love keyboard"
"Dushehxisbskochdbsodh is also a word"
"Words too close"
"Have you reached 2ie8rieo2oo2oeiwh1o9 yet?"
"I have reached 2ie9eo2h2i9494hek"
"2829riehwoe is really good."

Despite my continuous efforts to ask what they are talking about, they refused to answer me, or acknowledge my existence. They ignored me completely.

Talking about Sylvia, she is a murderous psychopath who wants to kill every other Sylvia in the world. For some reason, she wants to be the only Sylvia.
If any Sylvia is reading this, here is a message from Sylvia-
"I know where you are, delete yourself. You are already dead in my eyes."

Another friend I made is Naperville.
He too was kidnapped by Cadmar.

I still remember the day Greed went down on his knees, and said
"Naperville, ever since I saw you, I knew, you are the one. It's love at first sight."
"Umm" said Naperville, "I am a boy."
"I see." was his reply.

Also, coincidentally, Greed no longer wants to kill me. So that's nice. Also, coincidentally, I saw Greed wearing some pink frilly female dresses in front of mirror, along with cat ears, saying "nya" cutely.

But this is not a blog about Greed.

Naperville, is a cat-girl who is a boy, and has an appearance of a 12 year old, he is a person who desires nothing but end of the world.
Destruction.
Death.
Tuna
Those are the principles he lives on, though he isn't as dangerous as Sylvia, because he is proven to be quite easily baited by money.

"Naperville, would you join the knight order? I'll give you a medal if you do." Said someone not important and he joined the knight order.
"I made a profit of 400 nuffies." said an insane person and he began gambling. Till now, he has lost all his money thrice. He had to sell his cat ears to continue gambling.
"Pri~" said Togepi and he went to jail for attempting to poison Togepi and do weird things to Thefie.
But that's a story for another time~~

Previous