Hey! Thought I'd go ahead and try my hand at this, since I've seen a few other people try it. So, why not?
Never really done this before, but might as well Wing it. Honestly, these things are mostly going to be my odd ramblings when I'm trying to get to sleep; may be a poem, may be a rant or even just question. Writing helps me shut my brain down.
Anyway, something that's been on my mind for a while now, is a something I've struggled with all my life.
Do you ever wonder how other people think?
I don't mean that is some metaphorical way. I mean that literally. Have you ever questioned how others see what you see? I've know since very young age that my mind and thought process is very different than most peoples. I don't see things quite the same, don't understand some things others may see instantly, or I'll pick up on something that someone never saw before. Even the way I rationalize or perceive words is Different. That's why I always ask people to just be Blunt with me. If you're not, I'm likely not to understand or even misunderstand.
The Doctor's and Psychiatrist, they've all tried giving it their own fancy name or diagnosis, but over time, I just stopped caring. I learned that the only thing that can help is not the Meds or the plans. Its simply doing what I can, trying my best to understand and relate to people. Maybe I'm not always great at it; I've had people say I come off as "fake" or "forcing myself", others have been put off by careless words or actions I don't even recognize.
And I'll even admit, there are times when I feel crushed by a deep anxiety that I've offended or hurt someone because of it. Not that I care if someone dislikes me, I've learned to wear thick armor, but more than I did something without thinking and it hurt someone.
BUT Despite that sounding a little dark. I thank God that I was able to come to such a state.
While it hurts sometimes, the experience of someone's face lighting up in a genuine smile as they are having a good time, is priceless.
When the world you knew before is a mix of Greys, whites and blacks, you learn to cherish and desperately cling to those small flashes of Color.
Outside the Box - #1 - How do you Think?
Author
Osamaru
『Shem's Best Pal ✧ Lexi's Ani ✧ Hamster's Keeper』, Male
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