Have you ever felt like there is a glass wall between you and other? a thin sheet separating your world from theirs? You can see each other, smile and talk. But no matter how hard you try, you can never really touch them?
No matter how thin it gets, it's still there, separating you, keeping you from making that real connection. No matter how you try to desperately break it down, it remains. Then you start to wonder, who was it really that put up the wall? Are they keeping you away, or is it you're just afraid?
I've felt a wall like that, recently. and I don't really know why. Like there is something keeping me away. Maybe it's just me?
I makes me ashamed to admit, but I just can't seem to trust people; even if someone says they are serious, there is always that nagging in the back of my head that says "No, your not as close as you think", "Look how close they are to others", "They'll forget about you If you're gone for anytime, just a blip on life's road".
Even if your head knows different, the heart always doubts.
It's like a poison, that slowly seeps in and twists the things you see and hear. Makes you question every action you do or ever word you say. Thinking to yourself "did it really make a difference?" or was it just blowing hot air and putting on a play? empty thoughts that in the end, will fade from memory.
But, I've learned even if you can't see the end of a valley, it always comes. Maybe it takes some time. Maybe it takes some effort. But it always comes to an end.
So, I'll keep on walking. Because I know if I don't. then the end of the valley won't come. And I don't want to stay where I am now. always doubting, always questioning. Maybe it's foolish to think its as simple as "keep on keeping on", but that's the only thing I know how to do.
Outside the Box - #7- Barriers and Distance
Author
Osamaru
『Shem's Best Pal ✧ Lexi's Ani ✧ Hamster's Keeper』, Male
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