Parallels between Chinese Web Novels and Reality

Web novels are novels that are published on the web, and web novelists have an enormously huge fan base China. Most English-speaking otaku will think of Japan when the term “web novel” is mentioned, due to the large number of popular Japanese web novels that have been translated into the English language.

However, I can assure you that the Chinese web novelists have produced more works than their counterparts in Japan. They are lesser known because although they have been translated into the English language, most of them never did make their way into the mainstream and probably never will. I will touch on that topic later on.

Anyway, back to the Chinese web novels. One of the most popular genres, if not the most popular, is the cultivation genre. What is the cultivation genre, you ask? It has nothing to do with agriculture. According to the Immortal Mountain Wordpress blog, Cultivation is:

“(修炼 xiūliàn) (修真 xiūzhēn) (修行 xiūxíng) (修仙 xiūxiān) – the process of improving health, increasing longevity, and growing powerful. This is accomplished by cultivating Qi and training in martial & mystical arts. In many of these novels, the ultimate goal of cultivation is to become an immortal or attain godhood.”

Now, there are probably about hundreds of such cultivation novels out there and, therefore, while there are some original writers, most of the web novelists tend to overuse certain cliches and plot devices. A lot of readers have gotten frustrated at the recurring over-the-top cliches. So sometimes you see comments like, “That will never happen in reality! That’s a stupid cliche!”

But, you know, sometimes fact copies fiction or fact is stranger than fiction or whatever.

Here, I would like to share with you all some real-life incidents that mirror the cliches in Chinese web novels. These incidents happened to me so I can personally vouch for their authenticity.

CLICHE #1: OVER-THE-TOP BULLYING

You can see that in more than a few Chinese web novels. Usually, these novels are set in modern day. You know how it goes. The protagonist is poor or ugly or weak and he gets picked on as a result. Off the top of my head, I can remember at least 3 novels where the male lead gets beaten up at school by his classmates for being poor or stupid.

Sometimes, the dickheads frame the male lead for petty crimes like theft.

Well, personally, I have experienced such bullying before during my secondary (middle) school days.
Once, after one of the school bullies took away my pocket money for the week, two of my classmates approached me gleefully to mock me. And here's what they said (in Mandarin).

"You should be grateful that you are able to study in the same school as the young master! Stop complaining about losing a little money!"

"The young master has power and money! Count your lucky stars that he's willing to accept your dirty money!"

Yes, my classmates called the bully "young master" in Mandarin. You have to understand. We were in secondary (middle) school. And period drama was really popular then. So...

Another time, a girl in the neighboring class lost some item. I don't know what. But I remember I was the one blamed for the theft. It happened during my math class. The lesson was still in progress when suddenly, a group of the school's bullies kicked down the door and came into our classroom.

They then told the teacher to mind his own business and dragged me out of the classroom. After that, a beating happened. The teacher didn't say or do anything to help me and of course my useless classmates didn't say anything either. They just watched as the bullies dragged me out of the classroom by force, while a lesson was still in progress.

So there you go. Bullying along with the very cliched "young master" dialogue you find in Chinese web novels.

CLICHE #2. I HAD MY CULTIVATION MANUAL STOLEN

Cultivation manuals are books containing instructions on cultivation. The strength of a cultivator depends mostly on his particular style of cultivation method. So as you can see, cultivation manuals are serious shit. In the world of cultivation novels, wars have been waged over cultivation manuals and entire civilizations are sometimes wiped out.

I remember one novel where the protagonist had his cultivation manual or something similar stolen by people he trusted. And I think there are other novels that make use of this plot device.

Anyway, considering the fact that I had to go through daily bouts of bullying at school, it wasn't strange that I developed a keen interest in the martial arts at a young age. Since I was also a bookworm at the same time, I did a lot of research by reading books about martial arts.

This one time, I went to a huge Chinese book fair where they had tons of books about martial arts. And I managed to find a very interesting book about various Chinese martial art skills. Like Iron Palm, Five Poison Palm and so on and so forth. The sort of skills you would read about in wuxia novels. And it's very comprehensive because it included a section on pill refining (i.e. Taoist alchemy).

So anyway, it was a good book. Even if the skills mentioned in the book were all bullshit, it could have provided me with lots of material if I ever want to become a wuxia writer.

But it got stolen.

It happened like this. A classmate of mine saw me reading the book and got interested. At that time, I was probably the only person in the school who had an interest in the martial arts. So I really wanted friends who shared the same hobby. That's why, when he asked, I decided to let him borrow the book. I didn't think it was risky. After all, I had just bought that book at a book fair. I could easily find it again, right?

Lending that "friend" my book turned out to be a bad decision. A few days later, one of the bullies who was picking on me suddenly showed up in school with my book. And that "friend"? He was smirking at me as though he had done something clever. When I asked for my book back, the bullies took my school bag and threw it into the canteen's rubbish bin. The one with all the food waste. I didn’t retrieve it and bought a new bag and a new set of textbooks.

After that, I went to the mall where the book fair was held and tried to find the same cultivation manual again. And discovered that the whole event was already over. I tried looking for the same book at other Chinese bookstores in Singapore but couldn't find it again. Bear in mind that it was the early 90s and we didn't have internet, let alone Amazon. Not easy to find weird books back then.

CLICHE #3. AT FIRST, I WAS CONSIDERED TO BE A TRASH WHO COULDN'T CULTIVATE

Tons of novels out there have this cliche. At first, the male protagonist would be considered a trash by his clan/school/village but, after gaining some mysterious skill/artifact or after joining a better clan/school, his hidden potential would be uncovered.

Ah, I got carried away. Please mentally switch "cultivate" with "practice martial arts".

Okay, so after my cultivation manual got stolen, I didn't give up my love for the martial arts. And it came to pass that I joined a kickboxing class. It was at this class where they decided that I had no talent for the martial arts. In other words, a trash who couldn't cultivate.

Because I could only do 2 punches. The jab and the cross. I didn't manage to learn the others like the hook and uppercut. I was with the kickboxing group for 3 years and at the end of it, I never did learn the hook and uppercut, only the jab and the cross. So even though my fellow disciples called me a trash and waste of space/time etc, I couldn't really deny the accusations.

Until I traveled to a more powerful continent and joined a bigger clan. Chinese web novels have this setting, right? In the world of Cultivation web novels, there are weak continents with low level of spiritual energy and small Cultivation clans while the powerful ones would have higher level of spiritual energy with bigger clans. Well, what happened in real life was that I got a working holiday visa for the UK and joined a bigger martial art academy there. And it was there where I uncovered the "secret" behind my inability to "cultivate" in Singapore.

Over at the UK clan (i.e. school), the instructor of the beginners class noticed that I had trouble with my hook punches and took 5 yea... No, just kidding. He spent 5 minutes and after that I was throwing proper hooks like the rest of the class. 5 minutes. He simply showed me exactly how I should tilt my elbow and how to move my waist and and then I threw the first correct hook punch in my life.

So how come I could learn the hook punch in 5 minutes in the UK but I couldn't do it despite 3 years of hard work in Singapore?

The mystery was solved when I spoke to some experienced boxers in UK. They were suspicious when I told them I only managed to learn the jab and cross but not the hook and upper-cut after 3 years in Singapore. So they prodded and I told them that I went to 2 schools in Singapore. A boxing gym and the kickboxing group. At the boxing gym, the coach properly showed me how to punch straight. He didn't leave out a single detail. He showed me everything from the way my fist should rotate, how I should push my shoulder forward, how I should rotate my waist and so on and so forth. No matter how small the movement, the boxing coach made sure I got that right.

However, progress was slow because he made me do the same movement for months before moving on. So I joined the kickboxing class. And right away, the instructor made us do combo hits. Jab, cross and hook and upper-cuts. I had no problem with the jab and cross because I had already mastered that at the boxing gym but I got stuck at the hook and upper-cut segments. The kickboxing instructor just yelled at me and swung his hands at full speed. Then he said "Like that!" and demanded that I do the same. I couldn't copy his movements though. And he just kept yelling "like that" and swinging his hands at full speed. He didn't slow down and show me the small movements like the boxing coach.

The kickboxing instructor also made me watch video tapes of UFC fights and demanded that I learn something from watching those videos.

Anyway, I never did learn how to throw a hook punch or upper-cut while I was training under the kickboxing instructor so he (along with my fellow disciples) laughed at me and called me a trash who couldn't cultivate (i.e. learn martial arts).

The experienced boxers in UK informed me that the boxing coach did the right thing when he taught me and that the kickboxing instructor was an idiot, because no decent fighter they knew could learn how to fight just from watching UFC videos or someone yelling and swinging their fists at full speed.

So it wasn't me. It was just that my kickboxing instructor was too dumb to teach.

CLICHE #4. OBSTINATE ANTAGONISTS

You see them in many Chinese web novels. In a web novel where the protagonist has a setting where he's weak at the beginning and later becomes strong, there will be some annoying antagonists who refuse to acknowledge the protagonist's new found strength because he's weak at the beginning.

"Impossible! How did you do it? You have a broken dantian!"

“Impossible! How can you be so strong? Your meridian lines are all broken!”

I experienced the same thing here. The first powerful clan I joined wasn't in the UK. It was in USA. Over there, I managed to find some Jeet Kune Do schools and re-learned the basics of martial arts from them. Mainly, the straight punches, footwork and the kicks. I didn't spend too much time in the USA, only a few months, but at least I managed to learn footwork and how to move properly. But what awaited me back in Singapore were accusations like...

"Impossible! How did you learn to move like that? You are just a trash who can't cultivate (i.e. learn martial arts)!"

"Impossible! You went to America? How? You can't even cultivate (i.e. learn martial arts)! How come they let you in?"

CLICHE #5. I WAS OUTED FOR LEARNING A DEMONIC SKILL

In cultivation novels, there are orthodox sects who represent righteousness and all that is good in human nature. The skills they practice are the orthodox ones, which are different from the evil demonic skills practiced by the demonic sects. The evil skills usually require the practitioner to perform human sacrifices and/or other evil deeds.

And because sometimes the demonic skills are much more powerful than the orthodox ones, the orthodox sects get all jealous and hunt down the evil-doers who practice demonic skills.'

Well, when I was at school, I was exposed by a school friend for practicing a demonic skill.

It was just Karate though.

What happened was that I invited a school friend to watch a Karate demonstration at a sports hall. And what they did was the usual. Breaking bricks and wooden planks etc. I then cheerfully told my friend that I was going to do Karate as well.

And he went back to school and told one of our teachers that I was practicing a dangerous demonic art. Why would he say that? Because he's both a Christian and a scientist. He actually confronted me and told me that breaking bricks was breaking both the laws of physics and God and no human should have that kind of power. He went on to say that as he was watching the Karate black belts break bricks, he could actually see demons from hell lending strength to the brick breakers.

I asked him if he's sure and he said yes. Because he had the wisdom of King Solomon or something so he could sense demonic presence. He's also a scientist because he scored an A for his physics exam and he told me that the laws of physics were broken that night when the Karate black belts broke the bricks and that God was angry. He told me to stay away from Karate but I refused.

So he told a teacher about it and one day, out of the blue, the teacher gave a talk about misguided teenagers dabbling in the occult. I was like FML, it was just Karate okay? And I was just a white belt then. I didn't summon demons to help me break bricks.

CLICHE #6. THE UNPLEASANT HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

In a typical cultivation novel with a modern-day setting, the originally weak protagonist would receive an invitation to a high school reunion after gaining some power via cultivation. Unbeknownst to other participants, the newborn immortal king would grace the gathering of mortals with his presence.

And his graciousness would be repaid with disrespect and insults from his former classmates.

This is another overused Chinese web novel cliche. I think the contrast between the gracious immortal king and the disrespectful mortals is shown in order to generate support for the protagonist. Usually, such reunions would end in some epic face-slapping moment and the idiotic classmates will discover, to their horror, that the protagonist is actually a king among them and way more successful than all of them put together.

Well, when I returned from my UK trip, I was invited to such a reunion. Except it wasn't a high school reunion. It was a middle school one. But same difference, right?

And well, I wasn't an elite in disguise, but the rest of the reunion was just like how it goes in the web novels. Each and every classmate took turns making fun of me because I was the only one who didn't have a diploma. I can't remember each and every insult so I will cite one conversation that took place between classmate A and classmate B.

"Say, I heard that guy is still jobless, right? Don't you have a vacancy at your company?"

"Hahaha, don't get me in trouble! You know how high my standards are! That bastard is so stupid he can't even write his own name! What job can I give him?"

Followed by a round of laughter round the table.

When the reunion ended, everyone gathered outside the restaurant and the assholes who insulted me were talking about their cars. I decided to leave quietly but one girl suddenly asked: "Hey! He (referring to me) came to our reunion so how about one of you guys with a car give him a lift?"

They heard her but just smirked unpleasantly. So the girl repeated herself. As for me, I just shook my head and walked away with whatever dignity I could muster.

There wasn't a face-slapping moment for me, unfortunately.

SO THERE...

6 cliches from the world of fiction mirroring real life scenarios. I hope that my stories have at least piqued some interest in Chinese web novels.