Posting another story here. Hoping for feedback once again. I just wrote it, so it's very rough.

Author

UnknownTakuaN

〈One Schlick Kyaa〉〈Paper's Princess〉〈Distaktion), Female
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I'm grasping at something. Yet, it flows through my fingers like nothing is there. Catching my breath, chasing after something that doesn't exist. I wish I could see it. Feel it. Understand it. Explore it. Like sand, slipping through my fingers the harder I grasp on to it. Further and further away from my reach. What am I doing? Sweat runs down my face, falling to the ground. My lungs constrict painfully. My heart is palpitating, banging against my chest, begging to jump out. My feet are frantically moving, rapidly chasing after time. I can see it in front of me. A perfect reality. An alternate one. My eyes blur as I reach the blinding lights of perfection. I see flashes of memories in that light, depicting a happier, healthier, and prettier me. Without the scars. Without the hurt. Without the trauma. Normal and happy. Just one more step. Just one more. If I could just reach out and grab it.

If I try a little harder.

If I tried a little harder.

If I tried.

If.

But, I don't belong there. My outstretched palm retracts back to my side, trembling. I keep my gaze on the light. I longed for that. I needed that. That beautiful smile, free of worries. If only I had that. Smiling self-deprecatingly, I shake my head. Reluctantly, I turn my back away from the light. My steps were unhurried this time, unwilling to leave so soon. But, I finally made it back. To where I belong. To unhappiness, scars, and ugliness. In the end, this is who I am.

This is my reality.

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Comments

    1. UnknownTakuaN May 26, 2022
      @Agentt Uahhh :blob_teary: Harsh, but honest. Next time I write something, I'll keep that in mind. If I need any advice, I'll go to you.
      Giratina and Agentt like this.
    2. Agentt May 25, 2022
      Bleh, boring.

      I get what you are trying to do so, but for that you need to leave hints, flashbacks! Cryptic messages, vague dialogue, something to help people guess! Otherwise it's just lazy writing.

      And inspiration you say, how about starting with something very easy. Like an isekai? Most of the template is already written for you. Or, you could just complete one of your drafts. And message me if you need help in any
      Giratina and UnknownTakuaN like this.
    3. UnknownTakuaN May 25, 2022
      @Agentt good point. I wasn't really planning on making it a whole story. I've got about a dozen other unfinished stories in my drafts. I never did plan on completing them. I'll reconsider this, though. But, inspiration is so hard to come by these days :blobconfounded:. The context here was a little hard to integrate into my story. Tbh, I don't mind what anyone interprets my stories as. I usually leave it up to the reader to interpret it and mold it into their own story.
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    4. Agentt May 25, 2022
      Ahhh...
      *pats*
      Writing based on your emotions is very common, but you know, give some context too...like this would be a great story if I knew what happened to the character, even if it is fictional, and I would love to know what happens after this.
      UnknownTakuaN likes this.
    5. UnknownTakuaN May 25, 2022
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    6. UnknownTakuaN May 24, 2022
      @Agentt Ok lol. I tend to write depending on how I feel and when my emotions are at their strongest, so I see why it comes off as edgy. I have "happy" stories, but not too many of them, maybe about 3-5 of them.
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    7. Agentt May 24, 2022
      ...yes
    8. UnknownTakuaN May 24, 2022
      @Agentt ah. Sorry. Do you still want me to answer? I was actually going to answer, but I thought I was stupid for answering back so... :blobsweat_2:
      Giratina and Agentt like this.
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