Random Blog : Why I Hate Cheaters

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Jevanka926

Grumpy and Awkward <3, Female
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I always hate it whenever I see the people I know cheat on their partners.

These people spent their money on their other women but once they are broke they come back to their wives.

It's also confusing why a man who forbid his wife from going outside their city but cheats on her. Her radar must be on when she called my dad and asked him if he
knew where her husband was.

I can't understand it. They built their business together. His wife helped him in founding it and she's still amazing. Why marry another woman again (secretly) then pick a shady method to "make sure" they wouldn't have a fight?

I may be too young to understand why those men who betray their wives (and women who knowingly cheat with someone's husband) live well.

I may be too young to understand why these women stayed on their ground and accepting these men back (other than reasons like children or financial problems).

Sigh... Why is the world so eager in scaring me?

I don't even know if a good husband could be found. I know I shouldn't generalize. I know shouldn't be too bitter. I know there are so many good guys out there.

It's just a late night random blog

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    1. ANonMouse Apr 28, 2021
      My dad apparently cheated on my mom for 15 years before she found out. They're still together. Why did she accept him back? Codependency imo. Socially they're both relatively isolated, esp since the church group they used to do gatherings with evaporated when one of the members ran off with everyone else's "investments" that he conned out of them.

      People in general cheat when their needs aren't being fulfilled and there's an opportunity. Whether it's for attention, satisfaction, etc., relationships require maintenance, esp after the first three years of free hormonal passion when it fades. Both of my parents are workoholics as is standard of Asian and American cultures. My dad started to cheat when our family went from poor to middle class. Basically at that point, he had the opportunity, and because neither spent much effort on contining to develop the relationship past the first few years of marriage, he had needs he was too embarassed to communicate. I wouldn't be surprised if this was the same reason Bill Clinton cheated on Hillary with Monica : instead of feeling like less of a man, and communicating his needs and weakness with Hillary (an equal partner), he found it easier to embrace the adoring eyes of a fan (a dependent).

      OFC, you'd think anyone with a sense of shame still wouldn't cheat at this point, but human psychology can be pretty messed up. I theorize that my dad was feeling emasculated from having been financially dependent on my mom when his business was just starting out and was constantly losing money. Thus, he converted his feelings into mental justifications to cheat by blaming my mom inside his own head. I think a tell of this is how he always blames my mom when he's drunk. He might hold it back consciously, but as soon as he relaxes, the mental gordion knot shows itself. It's similar to how many girls aim for guys who are less physically attractive than themselves because they think those guys would then treasure them more and not cheat, but a lot of those guys who are mentally weak flip instead, esp since other girls approach taken guys more often than single ones (aka opportunity).

      Humans are very weak and imperfect in many ways. Humans go through great lengths to subconsciously defend their own psyche from recognizing its own actions as evil. We might all consider ourselves to be "good", but when we take a closer look at our own actions and twisted reasoning, we can't deny our blemishes. Things like this is why personal growth is so important : it's our internal metamorphosis to becoming less and less ugly catepillars. We may never quite become butterflies, but we can grow ourselves infinitely close to one.

      As to how this applies when searching for a lifelong partner, even if you marry an amazing, mature man, the reality is that both of you will change over time. Just like how our taste buds can change over tiime, so can our needs and goals for life. However, people who can acknowledge their own faults and grow have a better chance imo of either reconciling as they resume their walk of life together, or parting in a cordial, mutually beneficial fashion without years of cheating, bitterness, and blame. And ofc, communication is key.
      Bitter Sweet and Jevanka926 like this.
    2. Bad Storm Apr 28, 2021
      It's the thrill. There always something about the new shiny toy. I don't think there's any excuse to cheating. But at the same time, I've grown numb to it. Let them live and wreck their own lives. It's a bit sad how the kids get caught up in the middle tho. Sometimes, I think about people who stay in marriage even after the other party cheated, as people who are experiencing the sunk cost fallacy. They invested to much to build that family and thus they can't simply live it.
      Jevanka926 likes this.
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