Respect

I think I'm a calm person overall, and I think I can deal with most things pretty well... But... Recently I'm thinking my line is surprisingly low when people lack respect towards me?

I mean, I'm not talking about respecting them as their superior or anything, just... You know... Basic respect you should show towards anyone else out there? Once people start lacking respect I start getting a lot more blunt and getting angered at them really easily.

... That's not very good for someone that GMs a relatively big roleplay I think... But I still have a pretty terrible time handling lack of respect. It's really troubling me. Like... I act in a way and then look at it and think "That's not me", because I'm generally calmer and handle things better... At the same time, I don't even feel bad for mistreating someone that is disrespecting me, so I have a really hard time thinking of a way to "fix" this behavior... I honestly wonder if I should even bother with fixing it though.

I mean, it doesn't promote a good mood for the game for sure, nor does any good for my reputation... But it's just so annoying to look away when someone is being disrespectful... It's just so much easier to call them out on their bullshit. Especially when they pretend to be nice and innocent, yet keep on being a huge pain time and time again... Those types of people are just so darn annoying.

I'm looking back on the fights I had IRL in the past... Pretty sure all of them started because someone stopped showing the basic respect they should have with me... And then I got damn annoyed at them, things usually aren't pretty when this happens.

*sighs* I think I need to fix that, I mean... We're all humans and we all have flaws, but I don't want to be someone that can snap easily at people just because they're complete assholes and deserve every single word I'm telling them.

On the other hand, I wonder if it isn't more trouble than it's worth to keep around people that make me snap... Sometimes we can't really choose that though, we just are forced to deal with them... In this case, might as well learn to deal with it in a peaceful way I guess? Snapping is just soooo much easier though... Bleh.

I just don't get how hard it is to show basic respect towards others though... I mean, it's not that hard, don't badmouth them or what they do right in front of them... If you have a complaint, offer constructive feedback, don't just start lowkey snarking at them. It really can't be that hard... It shouldn't be hard at least.

*sighs* I'm tired and stressed already... Wish this feeling would come after more than just a few days since I ended my break.